When did you begin to realise/come to terms with being transexual

[Theo]

As Sadie so aptly said:

Sometimes I wonder what path my life would have taken if there had been good easily accessible information out there in my youth like there is today.  It sucks really, I would like to have my youth back.

Looking back, I find that there were a metric ton of clues, but various factors prevented me from recognising the implications. Even in kindergarten, I was always more inclined to be lumped in with the girls, rather than the boys. Certain family matters (aka my father very much insisting for me to "become a proper man") led to an atmosphere in which I felt that I should not necessarily express those aspects of my personality, and ended up in my "training" myself to act like a man. Add the fact that I did not realise that it was not normal to feel the need to study stuff like hand gestures in detail in order to be recognised as the assigned gender, or that very few other people went back and forth between being a girl or a boy in their dreams, and you get the recipe for deep, deep denial.

It took the internet to slowly but surely confront me with a reality that went beyond seeing drag queens and thinking: "interesting, but not for me", allowing me to realise that things like transitioning were really possible. If you will, a childhood dream suddenly being recognised as something that is attainable, and no longer just relegated to the realm of fantasy. 

[JennX]

I knew from a very early age of around 4. My actions as a child also supported this as well.

[dlee]

My dad said he knew I was different at the age of 2. I think I came to term with it between the ages of 7-10 I would pray to god that I would somehow magically wake up and be a girl!

[Shantel]

Aww, thank you. Now how much did Shan and Jamie pay you to post that?    

Hahaha don't listen to her Fezzika, she's a conspiracy theorists! 

[Rachel]

At about 5 I went to my Mom with my sisters cloths on and make-up. I was very happy and excited to show her. I then had a traumatic experiance. At 7 I wanted to remove my gonads, but could not follow through, and at 11 whem my voice cracked I wanted to throw myself off a 90 foot bridge, just could not do it. I definately knew I was not a boy at 7 and I did not want to be a boy at 5.

[Karla]

I'm with Jenn, same age, same thoughts, usual dressing up and finally getting caught. 

Thought i was completely alone until about 10, when browsing through stacks of used books, discovered (and devoured on the spot) Conundrum by Jan Morris. 

At which point i had a lot of new words, including transsexual. 

Your answer depends on whether you want to know when i knew, when i had the concept, or six years later when i had an actual word to go with the concept. 

I knew from a very early age of around 4. My actions as a child also supported this as well.

[XxHaileyxX]

I knew when I started JK, but my parents knew before me, apparently when I was a toddler.
But, until I was 9 they kept trying to treat me as a boy. Refused to accept that Im a girl until I ran away from home...I then got counselling and when I was old enough I was started on a tblocker and a year later, estrogen.so Im so glad I never had a male pubrty!

[Tristan]

My dad said he knew I was different at the age of 2. I think I came to term with it between the ages of 7-10 I would pray to god that I would somehow magically wake up and be a girl!

My parents and family were the same way. But at some point they give up on trying to make you behave the way they want you to be haha

[translora]

...I stuffed it until I was fifty. I am seventy as of this August and have been out and on HRT for almost nineteen years. I know there are many more like myself...who will never experience the fullness of it in this life.

Shantel,

This is a sad thought, and your numbers hit me between the eyes. I will be turning 50 in August, at the very beginning of my (hoped for) transition. When I think of myself at 70, I wonder whether transition will actually be worth all of the pain and disruption since I'm starting so late. Sometimes I think I should just accept that the ship has sailed and ride it out in the gender role I was born into. (Another very sad thought...)

Knowing what you know, would you do it all again?

[MaidofOrleans]

Ive known I was "different" since very young but I didn't have a word to put to it till my teenage years. Even then I was in denial till a rather horrible emotional breakdown last summer.

[Q]

I knew I wanted to transition in my early teens and came out to family in my late teens. Like a lot of people though, for various reasons, it has taken until 39 for me to be able to do something about it. Unfortunately I now have a middle aged male body, so I no longer think transitioning is feasible. I hope to find a way to live with it though, without my current levels of dysphoria which are driving me crazy.

[RosieD]

I am 3 years older than you Q and am in the very early stages of transitioning, which probably makes me a bit slow on the uptake. I started because I had to if I was going to get any kind of enjoyment out of life ever and a silly little thing like a body with 4 decades of wear and tear was not going to stop me.

Rosie

[Q]

I am 3 years older than you Q and am in the very early stages of transitioning, which probably makes me a bit slow on the uptake. I started because I had to if I was going to get any kind of enjoyment out of life ever and a silly little thing like a body with 4 decades of wear and tear was not going to stop me.

Rosie

Rosie, thank you for the nice encouragement. I agree age, per se, isn't necessarily a problem. (My dr told me his oldest patient was almost 90!). I am talking to the drs about it, because, like you, I also felt I couldn't just not do anything about it anymore. I think, for me, though, that full time transition just isn't going to be realistically practical. There are so many reasons why, but hair is my woe of the moment - too far retreated hairline, too fine for fringe / bangs, head too big for wigs, custom wigs expensive, way too much body hair which is blonde therefore not lazerable...

It would be fair to say I'm having a difficult time staying in a positive frame of mind about it at the moment. I'm trying though. Richard O'Brien is kind of inspiring me to think that OK even if transition isn't possible and even if I go completely bald, maybe I'm going to be able to figure something out and make peace with it. I hope so anyway; not easy though!

[Shantel]

Shantel,

This is a sad thought, and your numbers hit me between the eyes. I will be turning 50 in August, at the very beginning of my (hoped for) transition. When I think of myself at 70, I wonder whether transition will actually be worth all of the pain and disruption since I'm starting so late. Sometimes I think I should just accept that the ship has sailed and ride it out in the gender role I was born into. (Another very sad thought...)

Knowing what you know, would you do it all again?

Ideally if I had been somewhere around 20 and I didn't have a lot of people that I love more than myself counting on me, yes I would go all the way in a heartbeat. At the present time I can look back and still say yes, even though I started way late and the outcome is now and will be less than stellar. But it's not really about looks or outcome, it's about being who I really am and the inner peace that still makes it worth it even though I continue to live with one foot on either side of the gender fence in which case I am (non-binary) not bound to or self identifying to either gender completely.

[suzifrommd]

Shantel,

This is a sad thought, and your numbers hit me between the eyes. I will be turning 50 in August, at the very beginning of my (hoped for) transition. When I think of myself at 70, I wonder whether transition will actually be worth all of the pain and disruption since I'm starting so late. Sometimes I think I should just accept that the ship has sailed and ride it out in the gender role I was born into. (Another very sad thought...)

Knowing what you know, would you do it all again?

I first discovered I was trans last year when I was 50.

The way I see it, I've only got one life. I'm not going to get another chance to live. So I'm going to live the rest of this one as my true gender.

[Nero]

Shantel,

This is a sad thought, and your numbers hit me between the eyes. I will be turning 50 in August, at the very beginning of my (hoped for) transition. When I think of myself at 70, I wonder whether transition will actually be worth all of the pain and disruption since I'm starting so late. Sometimes I think I should just accept that the ship has sailed and ride it out in the gender role I was born into. (Another very sad thought...)

Knowing what you know, would you do it all again?

I first discovered I was trans last year when I was 50.

The way I see it, I've only got one life. I'm not going to get another chance to live. So I'm going to live the rest of this one as my true gender.

Listen to Suzi.
And besides at 50 or even 70, who knows how long you'll live? Do you want to live another 30, 40, even 50 years in misery because of a time/realization miscalculation in your youth?
People tend to discount the second half of their lives. Since when is the first half of your life the only part worth living? A sad result of our youth obsessed culture (I blame the hippies lol).

[Sarah Louise]

Fifty (or 50+) is as good a time to start transition as any other.  There is still life ahead and a better life living as who you always should have been.

I waited for my kids to be grown before I transitions (a personal decision, right for me, not necessarily right for everyone).  I'm now 68 and happy I transitioned (I have not had surgery for medical reasons) I have lived fulltime as a woman for 15 years and am happy.

[Tristan]

I agree at that Age it seems like. It could be great for so many reasons like your settled down

[Shantel]

I first discovered I was trans last year when I was 50.

The way I see it, I've only got one life. I'm not going to get another chance to live. So I'm going to live the rest of this one as my true gender.


Listen to Suzi.
And besides at 50 or even 70, who knows how long you'll live? Do you want to live another 30, 40, even 50 years in misery because of a time/realization miscalculation in your youth?
People tend to discount the second half of their lives. Since when is the first half of your life the only part worth living? A sad result of our youth obsessed culture (I blame the hippies lol).

This is what I said in it's total context. My point being that once being fully committed to family and marriage to a good woman who I love more than my own life, the time trickled by until throwing them away for my own selfish desires was and is no longer an option. Had I been young, there would be no question that I would have been long since past SRS by now and moving on with my life.

There are a lot of assumptions made by the transgender community and many will say "I knew when I was three" and in some cases it has a lot to do with self validation and justification. I had some twinges and episodes as a kid but it never really struck me between the eyes until I was twenty and I stuffed it until I was fifty. I am seventy as of this August and have been out and on HRT for almost nineteen years. I know there are many more like myself that for various reasons suppressed their obsessive desire to realize their female side for far too long, some like me who will never experience the fullness of it in this life.

[Nero]

I first discovered I was trans last year when I was 50.

The way I see it, I've only got one life. I'm not going to get another chance to live. So I'm going to live the rest of this one as my true gender.


Listen to Suzi.
And besides at 50 or even 70, who knows how long you'll live? Do you want to live another 30, 40, even 50 years in misery because of a time/realization miscalculation in your youth?
People tend to discount the second half of their lives. Since when is the first half of your life the only part worth living? A sad result of our youth obsessed culture (I blame the hippies lol).

This is what I said in it's total context. My point being that once being fully committed to family and marriage to a good woman who I love more than my own life, the time trickled by until throwing them away for my own selfish desires was and is no longer an option. Had I been young, there would be no question that I would have been long since past SRS by now and moving on with my life.

There are a lot of assumptions made by the transgender community and many will say "I knew when I was three" and in some cases it has a lot to do with self validation and justification. I had some twinges and episodes as a kid but it never really struck me between the eyes until I was twenty and I stuffed it until I was fifty. I am seventy as of this August and have been out and on HRT for almost nineteen years. I know there are many more like myself that for various reasons suppressed their obsessive desire to realize their female side for far too long, some like me who will never experience the fullness of it in this life.

Oh, I wasn't referencing your post hon. Everybody has different circumstances. And medical transitioning may not be an option for some due to age, health issues, family situation, etc. The point is you're out living your life.