Help Me, I think I am transsexual

[DrBobbi]

Hello.

Thank you all for sharing your stories and pictures. Inspirational, indeed. I do have a question. Was the decision easy for you, too?

[A]

Uhm, yes. As soon as I realized that I was transsexual, not some sort of spiritual being who would be reborn as a girl/angel/spirit/magician/whatever when the time would be right, the decision was taken. I was worried about "never really being credible as a girl" for a while, though. Yet here I'm not yet living as a girl and my low dose of hormones hasn't yet given me anything in the chest area, and I often pass as a girl nevertheless.

[delyth ann]

I saw my psych for the first time today. We talked for an hour but didn't get to the gender dysphoria.
I wanted to feel comfortable with the person I was talking to. I feel as though I can disclose to her.
I think my wife is going to want to leave me when I tell her about my feelings. I am scared.
I've been off work the past few days due to my psych state. It has given me loads of time to think about things. I must admit it's the first time in months I have been able to think at all about my life. I am trying to build myself up to actually say it "I feel female. I think I am transsexual" first to my psych and then to my family. It will be a shock to my family as they all live overseas. I don't know whether any transition will take place here or where I grew up. My future feels so uncertain at the moment.

[A]

Well, some people feel they're strictly into men or women and leave their trans partners, but that's not all of them. Many, as well, still see the person they've loved and stay. Others can't take it sexually but stay very close friends.

Be courageous; I'm with you. I'm sure the professional you're seeing will be able to guide you through things.

[delyth ann]

Can I just say a big thank you to the girls who have offered me advice the past few days. Coming out on here has been a big thing for me to do. But I am so glad I have. I have been trying to suppress my issues since I was a kid and hope they would go away. But I am starting to realise that is just not going to happen. It's become exhausting trying to keep my dysphoria buried. I don't think I can go on living in this make shell for too much longer. I hate the way my body looks. I just doesn't seen right.

I looked specifically for a female psych- I thought I would feel more comfortable talking to a female. After my first session I have realised I have found someone I feel comfortable completely opening up to. We talked a lot the many things I have had happening in my life, but ran out of time before we could get to my gender identity issues. I am nervous about my next appointment, but I know I will bring up my GID soon.
Can someone tell me what will happen next, once I discuss my gender issues with my psychologist? Am I going to be referred on to a psychiatrist? I live in Australia if this helps.
As for transition? How would I start?
I am feeling very scared and lonely. I am scared of changing, but I am also scared of what will happen if I stay the way I am now.
Would I be accepted as a female by my peers, work colleagues, family, society.
I'd never communicated any of these feelings until a day or two ago.
I don't know any Trans people and very much feel on my own in dealing with these issues at the moment. I am totally freaked out.

[Sabrina]

Welcome! I recently accepted my inner female as well. I'm currently in the process of searching for a specialist in transgender issues to help me talk things out further. I'm getting the feeling my regular therapist has gone as far as she can go. My advice is once self-acceptance has been achieved, seek out a specialist. Also, do as much research you can on the subject, everything from the effects of hormones both positive and negative to local support groups to general history of the HRT / SRS and the processes involved in them both. In a nutshell, take in all the info you can and think about / plan each move very carefully. Background info give you good talking points when seeing a therapist. Can assist in guiding a conversation. Finding a time when / where you can express yourself fully without fear of reprisal while doing your soul searching is very therapeutic. And for some reason, visualizing the entire process from start to finish in a single moment helps. I can't really explain how that works. It just happens to me sometimes.

Speaking of suppressed issues, I have had them for years going back to early grade school. I was too afraid to act and quickly buried the issues. I blame my paranoia with getting in trouble from my dad. Since growing up with that, fear took hold for the longest time till I started speaking to a therapist, talking out my problems and doing much self-reflecting.

Hope some of this helps. Best of luck!

[A]

How it works varies by country, but basically, in most cases, a doctor refers you to a psychiatrist who can evaluate you, and later refer you for HRT. Therapists are often useless as far as the official stuff goes. Very, very helpful otherwise, but not officially.

[barbie]

In my case, the psychiatrist basically evaluated whether I would be able to maintain a normal life after transition. Thus my job, career and colleagues were the most important criterion.

When I visited his office, I was en femme; wearing heels and makeup, no need to detail my ->-bleeped-<-. Action is far more effective than talk.
So he was not so much helpful. After filling out questionnaire, just official record and an approval letter, which can be used as a legal weapon if I am discriminated in work place or other cases.
He issued an approval letter, but the physician refused prescription for HRT. He promised that he will do it if I visit again with my wife.

Barbie~~

[DrBobbi]

I started HRT this morning with 8 surgically implanted pellets and progesterone x 2. It was actually fun going through the process with my endo. He made me feel comfortable and normal through the entire process. He asked me if I was left or right handed. I told him left, and he smiled. He said that 25% of his trans patients are left handed, most have very high IQs, average 38 years old, and are conservative. Interesting.

Anyway, I feel great. I'm sleeping wonderfully since I've come out to friends and family. Except for my ex-wife, and some initial shock from a girlfriend, or two, its been a liberating experience. Our perceived fears are far worse than reality. But then again, I'm just transitioning. Maybe it gets harder down the line.

[Sammy]

He said that 25% of his trans patients are left handed, most have very high IQs, average 38 years old, and are conservative. Interesting.

Which is fairly typical for our subgroup which qualifies as "late set transsexuals" - well, except for motoric preferences and political views . Quite above the average IQ and corresponding choice of profession, transition starts at +/- 35 years, mostly heterosexual, often with families and children.
P.S. I am ambidex, 35 y.o. and regard myself as libertarian .

[A]

Average 38 years old, really? Sheesh, that's sad. So many people are still enduring so much for so long. I was thinking it was getting better, down to 25-30 or so. :c

And wait, what? Conservative? I thought conservative was "women back to their homes, delegalize gay marriage and exorcise the transsexuals".

Also, uhm, eight pellets? Why so many? o:

Finally, I'm jealous. Here I had to wait for 2 years after asking for help until I finally got (crappy) HRT...