Coming out to past acquaintances

[Elsa]

Well, I've kinda really been considering the idea of coming out on facebook or to people I've haven't seen in a long time.

I did try something different but I'll go more into it on my blog.

Anyways I've been thinking if I should come out on facebook. Maybe post a pic of me in a dress?   

Just wondering if it's a good idea?

[Jess42]

That's a tough one Alexia. Me personally, I wouldn't just because I don't find casual aquaintances really important on the list of people to come out to. On the other hand, you could create another account and be yourself as sort of an alter ego.

One thing about it is that if you come out to casual aquaintances, you will eventually be outed to close friends that you may not be out to yet. Your close friends and or family may feel hurt or betrayed that you came out on facebook and not to them personally. It's kind of like a double edged sword.

[Elsa]

That's a tough one Alexia. Me personally, I wouldn't just because I don't find casual aquaintances really important on the list of people to come out to. On the other hand, you could create another account and be yourself as sort of an alter ego.

One thing about it is that if you come out to casual aquaintances, you will eventually be outed to close friends that you may not be out to yet. Your close friends and or family may feel hurt or betrayed that you came out on facebook and not to them personally. It's kind of like a double edged sword.

Thanks Jess, but I've been using an another account for quite some time now but am getting sick of having two profiles and trying to maintain both of them.

As for close friends and family, I've already came out to them. My family has not been dealing with it very well but tbh they've had a long time to come around and they have outed me to all the neighbours with all the constant yelling.

I think maybe coming out might give me some closure and it would allow me to explain why I've behaved strangely in the past. But am just wondering if I should go ahead because a lot of them might treat it as a joke.

[Jess42]

If you are already out to those closest to you, go for it. I know, comin' and goin' with more than one account.

If that's the case then I would probably do it. If they are just casual aquaintances, what can they do to you. They may treat it as a joke, they may laugh, have negative things to say to or about you or may unfriend you. But if they're just aquaintances, no harm done really. Just think of how many new friends will come along. I know, kinda' Annieish with The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow or at least that is what's popping into my head rereading what I wrote. If you do let me know how it goes for you.

[Christine167]

I'd recommend building the extra account for your new self.
On your original you can come out but only let people who are cool with it know about the new account.

That way should ou go for a job interview in the future and they cruise you FB account it won't have transsexual all over it. Also as a bonus those who flip their lids can just be swept away until they calm down and come to their senses.

[Elsa]

If you are already out to those closest to you, go for it. I know, comin' and goin' with more than one account.

If that's the case then I would probably do it. If they are just casual aquaintances, what can they do to you. They may treat it as a joke, they may laugh, have negative things to say to or about you or may unfriend you. But if they're just aquaintances, no harm done really. Just think of how many new friends will come along. I know, kinda' Annieish with The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow or at least that is what's popping into my head rereading what I wrote. If you do let me know how it goes for you.

It would be nice to have new friends and just be myself on facebook as well.

That way should ou go for a job interview in the future and they cruise you FB account it won't have transsexual all over it. Also as a bonus those who flip their lids can just be swept away until they calm down and come to their senses.

Also this is something that makes me worried if I go for an interview and they decide to look at my FB profile the last thing I want is for them to reject me before they even know me.

But I think I'll try getting a few people to move to the new profile. Might be safer but then the multiple profile thing is really irritating.

[Jess42]

I sort of forgot about future employers looking into facebook accounts. God, ain't we got no privacy anymore? This practice is kind of underhanded and sleazy and should be illegal, but money walks I guess.

New friends are always nice and being yourself is never a bad thing.

[Christine167]

I sort of forgot about future employers looking into facebook accounts. God, ain't we got no privacy anymore?

No, no we don't. But it doesn't mean that we can't be clever about it.

[Jess42]

No, no we don't. But it doesn't mean that we can't be clever about it.

Underhanded, sneaky and stickin' it back to the "man". Or at least hiding it from the "man". I like the way you think Christine.

[Christine167]

Underhanded, sneaky and stickin' it back to the "man". Or at least hiding it from the "man". I like the way you think Christine.

The best advice I ever get on this topic that IF you have to put information out there don't. But if you still do use a personal cipher. The advice is in regards to keeping journals because someone sometime will read the darn thing but it is equally helpful today in concern to emails and social networks. To a degree we all do. Words like cis gender and tucking don't mean a whole lot to the average joe but to us they are a part of our dictionary that we use every day.

[Theo]

I've simply been cycling my FB picture to become more and more androgynous. At some point it will simply slip over that middle line and people won't even realised at first. Slowly but surely they'll get it. Those whom I'm "real" friends with will be informed at that stage anyway, and others ... well, they'll get it eventually.

Note that I stopped displaying a gender marker on FB long ago too, so for recruiters they may not even be able to tell, in particular if I start deleting the old pictures and block the older posts.

[Jess42]

I've simply been cycling my FB picture to become more and more androgynous. At some point it will simply slip over that middle line and people won't even realised at first. Slowly but surely they'll get it. Those whom I'm "real" friends with will be informed at that stage anyway, and others ... well, they'll get it eventually.

Note that I stopped displaying a gender marker on FB long ago too, so for recruiters they may not even be able to tell, in particular if I start deleting the old pictures and block the older posts.

Acclimatization, sort of like boiling a frog. If you put a frog in boiling water, it will struggle and try to jump out. If you put the frog in room temperature water and then turn the heat on and allow the frog to acclimate itself, it'll never notice.

[Sammy]

Casual acquaintances do not matter much to me, as probably me to them... They come and go.
Btw, I was considering attaching the TG pride banner pendant to my backpack to see whether it would get me somewhere and to speed things up with some of my colleagues. As well as maybe getting a TG bracelet/necklace "female inside male" pendant - the only thing which puts me off with these latter pendants is that they are sometimes also marketed as bisexual pride pendants, so go figure out what is what...

[Elsa]

I'm kinda trying to do both... tell people who are on the current "male" profile that I have and coming out to them via facebook chat.

Will wait for a few days and if things go well I'd like to add them to my actual profile as well.
Think I'll go into more details on the blog

[smile_jma]

I have a few pics of myself "up" on my facebook pictures section. some have mentioned to me what is that/who is that.  "Me. So?"  "Oh..alright, whatev. just thought you had a sister or something'