How to approach therapist about HRT and general time frame for the letter.

[Ltl89]

I have my first official gender therapist appointment next week and I'm very excited.  However, I am a little nervous about how to approach the subject of hrt.  I know most people generally get their letters after 3 months, but I really really don't want to wait that long.  For one thing, I have held myself back too long out of fear of getting rejected while at home.  The other thing is I don't know if I can afford going once every week.  I will try, but it might be better for me to do a biweekly thing after the first month.  So, I kind of want to start as early as possible and not drag out the process for months on end.  I have waited so long that it will drive me crazy to wait much longer.  Therefore, I wanted to know what I should say about hrt and how I should approach the therapist.  I don't want to put her on the spot and make her feel like I am too eager to start.  I'm afraid the process might take even longer or something because I expressed a desire to start right away.  I mean, I know who I am and what I want.  I just want therapy so I can cope with the difficulties of transitioning and learn how to handle possible rejection from my family.

So, does anyone have advice on how to approach a therapist about this?  Should I even discuss this during our first session?  If not, when is the appropriate time.

Also, how long did it take you to get your letter from your therapist?

And in case anyone points this out, I know I could start with informed consent, but even that takes time.  Callen Lorde's procedures aren't very quick from what I've heard.  Besides, I really want to see a therapist so I might as well start through her.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions  

[Keira]

My advice with bringing this up...Is don't do it during the first couple of sessions...wait til later. You could touch on the subject briefly but, if you move too fast it could just end up biting you in the bum later. I just went with the flo...and when I'm not sure if I should say something...I just wing it and blurt it out...but that's just me.

Because I'm in an area that has no nearby (say within two hours) transgender clinics...I just went to a counsellor (a highly qualified one at that) and then asked my doctor about hrt and I provided the information (informed consent form, WPATH 7, and basic mtf cross hormone therapy information (for dosages and such).

I figured my doctor would just refer me to a mental health professional...but during the third appointment he was like, "So what do you want to prescribe you with first?". I was totally shocked, and now I'm on spiro. I did my research, came in with a mature attitude, and told him that I was well informed about hrt (which I am).

Sometimes there are exceptions in the system...after all there are exceptions to WPATH guidelines.

Now I just have to wait for the darn stuff to kick in...

[JennX]

I was very upfront with mine. When I was calling around looking for a therapist, I even told them on the phone up-front what I was looking to do, a bit of my history, and if they had previous trans-patient experience. Just be upfront and say what's on your mind, and where you see yourself in the next year or so.

It took me 3 months for my HRT referral letter... and I was already living 24/7 full-time female for the previous 4 years as well. I don't know many professional gender therapists with a PhD that are willing to do it faster. Maybe some sort of therapist with a MS or LSW ... but most professionals like to follow the rules.

[Theo]

As my therapist was a gender specialist, I made the appointment giving "suspected ICD-10 F64" as the reason... I was shaking from even just that extremely obscure statement, but I would not have gotten the appointment otherwise, as she clarified that she is a specialist, so I needed to have something that fits in with her area of expertise. Brought up HRT on my 3rd session, but it was not as if she wasn't aware that the ask would come at some point.

[Joanna Dark]

I was very upfront with mine. When I was calling around looking for a therapist, I even told them on the phone up-front what I was looking to do, a bit of my history, and if they had previous trans-patient experience. Just be upfront and say what's on your mind, and where you see yourself in the next year or so.

^^^This. Just tell her/him what your goals are and what you ultimately want out, which is a referral for HRT. Personally I would go with informed consent. I guess it depends on how certain you are this is the right course. You sound very certain.

[Ltl89]

^^^This. Just tell her/him what your goals are and what you ultimately want out, which is a referral for HRT. Personally I would go with informed consent. I guess it depends on how certain you are this is the right course. You sound very certain.

I am very certain of transitioning, but I'm very scared about societal pressure.  I don't know what to do about rejection and how to come out to family.  I had a good friend reject me before when I came out to friends years ago and it still hurts.  Having to deal with the possibility familial rejections is even tougher.  I'm a hundred percent sure of my path, but I just need some help going down it.  Having a therapist might be helpful with learning how to deal with the tough aspects of transitioning.  Though, I will do informed consent if she wants me to wait very long.  Still, Callen Lorde still takes like a month and a half (plus it's more money down the drain).

I was very upfront with mine. When I was calling around looking for a therapist, I even told them on the phone up-front what I was looking to do, a bit of my history, and if they had previous trans-patient experience. Just be upfront and say what's on your mind, and where you see yourself in the next year or so.

It took me 3 months for my HRT referral letter... and I was already living 24/7 full-time female for the previous 4 years as well. I don't know many professional gender therapists with a PhD that are willing to do it faster. Maybe some sort of therapist with a MS or LSW ... but most professionals like to follow the rules.

In our initial correspondence I told her that I am seeing her to start my transition.  I was very upfront about my GID and that I want to move forward.  She is very well known in my area for the transgender community.  She has set up lots of support groups and is pretty much the person for this.  In fact, I believe she is trans herself.  So, she certainly is experienced and I believe she will be understanding. 

[Joanna Dark]

If she is trans herself then I doubt you have to be worried about asking for HRT. She will understand the need. Just be yourself and you'll be starting in no time.

[Ltl89]

If she is trans herself then I doubt you have to be worried about asking for HRT. She will understand the need. Just be yourself and you'll be starting in no time.

I hope so, but a lot of people have to wait 3 months.  I simply cannot wait that long.  I just wish there were an easy way.  But I will have to wait for my appointment and see.