Job

[jossef-ftm]

Hey everybody I finally found a job after all searchings for 6 years finally i got a job i'm so happy at last i can start save money for travel and having my surgery this is the good news .. the bad news is i have problems in work and i always get embarased from people there ..i pass 100% as a male i mean if u see me you will say its a male you will not think twice the problem is with poeple when they know my name ...everyday i have to meet and talk to new people and tell them the right times they should visit the company and they always tell my boss ur Accountant is the one who told us to come this time and he always have to tell them ohh he is a girl -.-'' i'm like a jock for them they enjoy telling people the truth even other workers with me i'm there fav subject.... Or when one of the  visitors to the company ask about my name i have to say the female name and they get shoked some of them start laughing or asking stupid questions especially the ones with kids .. thats so embarassing especially there is ladies around u know what i mean that just make me so angry..i need help what u think i should do friends ? waiting for ur unswers..

[LordKAT]

Change your legal name for starters, Attempt to talk to your HR department or supervisor. They seem to believe you are female. You need to correct that assumption.

[jossef-ftm]

lordkat thnx for the reply but what you said is impossible cause i'm from an islamic arabic country no lgtb rights here and they dont even know what is tg and they try to kill gays and lesbians here they think they are sinners

[FTMDiaries]

Eek. I feel for you. 

If you can't change your name legally, what is your culture's position on nicknames, particularly when dealing with visitors? Would it be possible to use something gender-neutral that wouldn't expose you as female?

[jossef-ftm]

ftmDiaries Names allowed are only islamic names and they r all female names cause in islam is wrong to have something look like the other gender (name,clothes,even the way u talk) but anyway thnx for the reply

[Simon]

The main thing is that you stay safe.

If people ask why you look like a boy just tell them you have a hormone problem that you can not help. If I was in that situation I would probably just put it off as a medical problem because they should have sympathy for a situation like that. I wouldn't tell anyone I was a transsexual and if asked if I wanted to be a boy...in that situation I would say no and probably add, "I just want to be as God made me" or something like that to get them off my back.

In a situation like that it's more about self preservation than anything. You said they kill gays and lesbians there. I think they would do the same to a transgender person.

[D0LL]

I feel for you, you're in such a rough position. I guess I should be thankful to live in America, in retrospect.

I hope you find a way to make things easier on yourself, and wish that I had advice to give you. I always get stupid questions from strangers about the way I appear (mostly all my facial piercings), and even something as simple as that is annoying and kinda brings me down, so can't possibly imagine how hard it would be to deal with the questions you get.

You're a strong person to have to put up with these types of problems in a closed-minded country like yours. <3 Best of luck dude.

[Natkat]

I understand the akwardness,
I don't think you can do anything for the girl comments beside ignoring it, at least for a while, just try to draw your attention to work insteed of the negate point even when it can be difficult when you heard it over and over again.

A transgender guy I know said in an interviuw that many transgenders are trained by "living in there mind"
he have been pregnant and lived along time as a woman from back when there where not much he could do and no knowlegde of the topic, and he said the reason he have been able to survive doing what he have done have been to try ignore those thing around for a time and just "live in the mind" abit like if you swim and close your eyes, then you can't really feel your body the same way, your weightless but your mind still work perfect.
its difficult to explain on text but I hope you get my point.
I had to live by my mind for a long time as well, and I think its most easy if you very focused and hardworking on something. If you do nothing you dont get any future your goal, and you start thinking and worrying and get depressed, so its important to keep yourself active and motivated.

For the name I thought you could try give yourself a nickname who is unisex or non specefic any gender.
One of my friends used to call me Monkey when I where a kid, He knew I had plans to change my name into a boyname even when I couldnt, and he couldnt really call me that name which could give troubles, but my original name made me depressed so I accepted him with the nickname. of corse it shall be something who is okay to be called, theres also a ftm on youtube who used to be called "bacon" as a nickname and he didnt really like his nickname so he made it into beck insteed, and got his name change into beck later. Many transpeople also use there name and change them into unisex names for shorts ex: "christian/christine = chris, Alexandra/alexander = alex, I dont think theres so many unisexnames in arabic, I dont know to be sure.. but ex Alia = Ali, Noura = Noor
maybe, you can check out name list of unisex names and so on.

[King Malachite]

There are some islamic countries that will actually fund transitioning as a way of avoiding homosexuality and punisment (not my thoughts).  Perhaps you could look into your particular location to see if they would fund it so you wouldn't have to deal with being called a girl.

The only other option I can thnk of is to try and blow it off, work as much as you can, and then move out of the county.  I really feel for you though.

[Contravene]

I'm not sure how you feel about relocating or if you're even able to but if you are, that's probably the best option for you. It seems like you'll just have to put up with being called a female name at work but at least you can save up as much money as you can then eventually get the heck out of there.

[Taka]

some times living as a ridiculously masculine woman is the only way to survive. the best thing you can do right now seems to set your sight on the future and do whatever it takes, even insults and ridicule, in order to get where you want to be. things usually get better, and this knowledge has helped me get through pretty severe depression several times. all i had to do was get out of bed, eat, do what i had to do that day, and in the end in found myself in a better place.

right now i'm putting my own future on hold, though. won't start pursuing my own goals for real until my daughter is old enough to travel between my and my parents' house on her own, and some things i'll wait with until she's at least in high school. i'm surviving today for something that is more important than my current situation.

[jossef-ftm]

thank you everybody for the advices thnx a lot friends..