Dilate?

[xander]

I know I'm crossing to the wrong side of the forum here, but I'm quite interested to know what ladies mean when they say that they need to dilate post surgery

[Jamie D]

A neo-vagina is, basically, a wound.  You need to keep it open, or it can close up on you.

Think of a really big piercing.  Bad analogy, but you probably get the point.  Dilation maintains depth and width.

Hopefully, a post-op, can give you the facts from experience.

(And Xander, there is no wrong side!  You are always welcome here) 

[xander]

So does something need to be in there permanently for a few weeks?

[Alainaluvsu]

No. It's more like x amount of times a day, you go in the bathroom and push a glass dildo in your vagina for about 15 minutes. I'm not post but I have a friend who just had surgery in Feb.

[xander]

No. It's more like x amount of times a day, you go in the bathroom and push a glass dildo in your vagina for about 15 minutes. I'm not post but I have a friend who just had surgery in Feb.

Push it in a hold it? Or is it similar to masturbation? Does it hurt?

[milktea]

Push it in a hold it? Or is it similar to masturbation? Does it hurt?

Insert to a predetermined depth and hold. Not like masturbating. And most people will want to do this laying down, so bedroom is more probable than bathroom.

And out of curiosity, will someone born with a vagina feel pain going through the same thing? I.e. shoving a hard plastic rod 32mm thick inside? With lube? How long will it take to get to say 6 inches?

[xander]

Edit: I misread mm for cm. No that wouldn't hurt. Unless you hadn't been penetrated in a while.

I was asking about pain because you're asked to do this right after surgery. I assume it would be sore enough without dilating.

[Jenna Marie]

Yeah, depends on the surgeon what you use and for how long, but mine are colorful plastic and I'll have to do it at least once a week for the rest of my life. I push it in gently and hold in place for 10 and 20 minutes with the second-biggest and biggest dilators respectively right now (I started at 4 times per day of 10 and 15 minutes with #1 and #2, and when it's down to once a week, it'll be 20 minutes with just #4 [biggest]). You can Google "Soul Search dilators" if you want to see the set I have.

And my wife tried to insert the largest dilator and yowled in pain and said no way would that work, if that's a useful data point. Also a cis woman's vagina is generally only about 4-4.5" deep when not aroused; it gets a bit bigger when she's ready, but in reality a penis never gets *all* the way inside, because there's belly, hipbones, etc. in the way. Penises have a little more give than unforgiving plastic, too.

[Vicky]

Different surgeons tell you to do it differently.  Discomfort the first few weeks and days is much closer than actual pain, but you will feel the stretching, and a big problem at first is pinching of the tissue inside.  A neo vagina has more skin nerves inside than a born-with vagina, and is not as slippery normally.  Getting the lube we use into the internal skin folds is the source of a lot of ouches.  Like natal females though, we can also get infections that can intensify the discomfort by gobs. 

I am at 16 weeks and use a 1 3/8" mint colored plastic dilator twice a day.  This was the largest size I was prescribed, but I do use it more in a masturbation fashion which is where and what I am supposed to be doing. Orgasm can be a goal and I go for it.

My depth has varied a tiny bit over the last 4 months, but I am at the maximum depth my surgeon thinks I should have, so I am happy.  At the end of July, I will go to one dilation per day, for the rest of my life, with time off for bad behavior!!  Since I hit six weeks, I could count one sex session for one dilation session per day.  Furthermore deponent saith not!! 

[xander]

The size of the dilators doesn't sound too large at all. I had a picture in my brain of something similar to those metal devices used by doctors. Now I'm picturing something of a very similar size and shape to an average sized toy. Is this correct? I imagined it would have to be larger than an average sized penis.

So if a neo vagina has more nerve endings, then wouldn't the orgasms be more intense? Also, you mentioned skin folds, do these even out and make lubrication easier?

[milktea]

Edit: I misread mm for cm. No that wouldn't hurt. Unless you hadn't been penetrated in a while.

I was asking about pain because you're asked to do this right after surgery. I assume it would be sore enough without dilating.

Tried and tested. Hurt like hell, even at 5mth post-op.
I'm curious about how a cis vagina can handle this because I'm told that is how a neov will feel eventually.

[xander]

Tried and tested. Hurt like hell, even at 5mth post-op.
I'm curious about how a cis vagina can handle this because I'm told that is how a neov will feel eventually.

It varies vagina to vagina. Some find it uncomfortable to have penetrative sex and some love it. Small vaginas exist and their owners get hurt a lot easier than most. Vaginas stretch but it is easy to unintentionally keep them tense and this makes penetration hurt.

[Susan T]

I'm just coming up to three years post op and still dilate for about 20 minutes once a week using a 34mm perspex dilator to a depth of about 6 1/2 inches. I can't say its particularly pleasant, even now, and the last inch or so takes a minute or two to reach.  In the early days it was down right painful and took quite a time to reach depth. I had to hold the dilator at depth for 10 minutes twice a day. In reality this meant that I had to spend about 1/2 hour dilating and cleaning up afterwards. For several weeks after surgery dilation also stimulates a blood stained discharge and so can be quite messy. I reduced my dilation to 20 minutes once a day at about 12 weeks because I couldn't manage the time with going to work. To be honest it didn't seem to make any difference to my depth or width so I often wonder if some of the schedules insisted on by surgeons are a bit over the top.

[suzifrommd]

So if a neo vagina has more nerve endings, then wouldn't the orgasms be more intense?

I'm not post-op, so this is from book knowledge, but I believe that orgasms in cis vaginas come from the clitoris, not the nerve endings inside. The clitoris parallels the vagina and, in cis females, partially wraps around it.

From my understanding, a ciswoman's clitoris has something like 3x the nerve endings that a cis male's penis has. A neoclitoris would have even less because part of the original erectile tissue is removed.

[xander]

I'm not post-op, so this is from book knowledge, but I believe that orgasms in cis vaginas come from the clitoris, not the nerve endings inside. The clitoris parallels the vagina and, in cis females, partially wraps around it.

From my understanding, a ciswoman's clitoris has something like 3x the nerve endings that a cis male's penis has. A neoclitoris would have even less because part of the original erectile tissue is removed.

I'm not entirely sure this is true. I know some cis girls and some trans guys who have g spot orgasms and the way that they describe it is like it is completely different to clitoral orgasms. But I'm no doctor and I've never had an orgasm like that so I could be wrong.
Is having an anal g spot orgasm the same as stimulating the glans on a cis male or trans female?

[milktea]

P.S. Guy, it's not what you think. It's absolutely normal when you're a couple of years post-op. I'm checking depth = 17cm on average twice a week (or even less frequently) with a 34mm glass-boyfriend, and I'm enjoying it. It's most of all a psychological problem if dilation is difficult. Some can handle it better, some others not so well. Such is Life.

Well tks for the good news. I certainly hope for the day when things turn pleasant, though it can be hard to imagine right now...

[eli77]

I'm not entirely sure this is true. I know some cis girls and some trans guys who have g spot orgasms and the way that they describe it is like it is completely different to clitoral orgasms. But I'm no doctor and I've never had an orgasm like that so I could be wrong.
Is having an anal g spot orgasm the same as stimulating the glans on a cis male or trans female?

It's the same gland in all varieties of bodies that (potentially) produces that kind of orgasm, and it has very little to do with the sensitivity of the vaginal canal. In post-op women, the gland is repositioned to where it would be in a cis woman (front vaginal wall, about an inch and a half in - can be reached by sticking two fingers in and curling them up towards the pelvis bone, feels vaguely like the soft pallet in your mouth... as any queer girl can tell you ).

Sensitivity for post-op women is complicated and varied. Due to the nerve damage inherent in any major surgery, some of us are so sensitive we can barely handle being touched, some of us are completely numb, and most of us are somewhere in-between. I generally wouldn't recommend the experience as a way to increase sexual pleasure--unless of course dysphoria has already completely messed up your sex life.

It's most of all a psychological problem if dilation is difficult. Some can handle it better, some others not so well. Such is Life.

Truth. I'm at 15 months and I despise dilating. I can't even bring myself to stick to the once-a-week standard. I wish my girlfriend was around more, then I'd never have to do it.

[Taka]

more nerve endings doesn't make for better orgasms, it only makes a scratch inside sting more. cis women probably have less nerve endings so that rape and child birth won't cripple them. having your rectum hurt can make it really hard to just walk because of the pain (more nerve endings), but i was up and walking as soon as i was stitched up after giving birth. i was sore, but mostly in the outer parts that have more nerve endings.

how people get orgasms should be discussed in a different forum, but i can mention that there are many cis women who can't get off just by having their clitoris stimulated. for some, the emotional part of the equation is the most important. and the g-spot is something that the researchers still haven't been able to agree on the existence of. some say it's some glands that correspond to the prostate in males, others mean it's a nerve bundle in the vaginal wall. and if you ask cis women, you'll find those who have a g-spot, as well as those who've never managed to find any spot like that inside themselves.

P.S. Guy, it's not what you think. It's absolutely normal when you're a couple of years post-op. I'm checking depth = 17cm on average twice a week (or even less frequently) with a 34mm glass-boyfriend, and I'm enjoying it. It's most of all a psychological problem if dilation is difficult. Some can handle it better, some others not so well. Such is Life.

i don't think i'd ever want to take something like that inside me. i'm lucky to have a body that produces more than enough fluids, so i don't even need to actively keep things open. probably makes y opening smaller than it could have been, but if i met a big guy, i'd probably insist on him being on the bottom anyway..

[milktea]

Hey I was recently told by a cis female friend that sticking in a plastic dilator hurts. Seems to be due to the dilator being a hard piece of plastic, as opposed to a penis or dildo or silicone dilator which is compressible. Vagina clamping down on hard plastic = pain.
Looks like having to dilate forever means pain forever...

[Taka]

that depends on how you do it, i'd think. never tried a dilator, but i've tried wood and shampoo bottles. it's possible to stick quite a variety of hard or soft things in a vagina without too much discomfort if you just take your time and don't try to force it. takes some time for the hole to shape to what's put inside, and it also to stimulate my its down there to enhance the blood flow. the size matters though, i can't put anything too far in, and it can't be too thick. i could probably stretch myself gradually to get used to bigger things, but i don't want to. it's pointless when i almost never use that part of my body.