Our gender is independent of body/sex characteristics, which are both independent of various gender-associated/stereotyped preferences, behaviors, feelings, and expressions. That said, gender-associated/stereotyped preferences, behaviors, feelings, and expressions still end up screwing with our minds and corrupting the information we're trying to process from ourselves, in terms of our gender, our body, and even other preferences, behaviors, feelings and expressions. I mean, just think about all the kinds of body issues western culture gives even to cis-gendered individuals (women moreso than men, but men as well), and how those affect how people act and feel about themselves. For people who are more actively considering what their gender is (and the kind of body they want to have), the stress is even greater, although those more actively thinking about it may be better equipped to think critically. Still, those kinds of body issues for cis-people may be getting me to think about whether I should hop on low-dose HRT for hips and minor boobage. Just the fact there is all this noise makes us consider whether we should tinker with things when it isn't necessarily in our best interest, and it becomes difficult to separate real indicators of wanting to "change" versus things that are just noise.
I'm a little more sure of having a male identity, but I fully relate with the dressing-like-a-penguin issue. The more you think about it, the more obviously-ridiculous it is to have gender-specific clothing rules.
