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If I had been born a genetic female I would not be Grace...

Started by Ms Grace, August 08, 2016, 07:56:10 AM

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Ms Grace

Certainly not by name. I was the first born, my parents had selected a boys name and a girls name...that girls name ended up going to my sister 18 months later. Needless to say that name wasn't "Grace"... in fact, just like my sister, it is a fairly frumpy and old timey name... so glad I didn't get it. But would being born genetic female and given a frumpy name be better than being trans female and deciding my identity for myself? All I can think is, I wouldn't have been Grace and I really like being Grace...so I don't know.
Grace
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Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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rosinstraya

"We can only play with the hand we're dealt" and other cliches. And I'm no good at cards. But I guess we learn. A bit.
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Harley Quinn

The age old question of Nature v/s Nurture...  I would have to think that you'd still be Grace in spirit, but we are also shaped by our experiences.  So while you're the same person, I don't believe that you would be nearly as strong and compasionate without the struggles that you were born to endure.  Happily oblivious to the other side...  Would you have had the same friends? Probably not...  Sure some would be in your life for sure, however, the dynamic would have definately been different...  In my sumation, you'd be the same person, but your views would definately be different.
At what point did my life go Looney Tunes? How did it happen? Who's to blame?... Batman, that's who. Batman! It's always been Batman! Ruining my life, spoiling my fun! >:-)
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V

Well, I asked my Mom what name she would have given me, had I been born female (physically), and she told me what that name was, so that's the name I use for myself now.
So I would always have ended up with the name I now have, one way or another!  :laugh:
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Mariah

It's interesting you mentioned this because when I found out what name I would have been, which also was given to my sister when she was born, I knew it didn't fit me either. I couldn't see myself with any other name than the one I have either. So I can totally understand that feeling. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
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Michelle G

When I was 9 I asked my mother what girl name they would have given me, she said Michelle because that is the girl version of my boy name, a few times I even asked her to call me Michelle just for fun but she just said "don't be silly", this was back in 1963 when there was zero awareness at all for what I was feeling.
Just a "California Girl" trying to enjoy each sunny day
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HappyMoni

Grace,
You can always change your name. I'd take the cis gender and still find you could be yourself. I asked my mother what my parents would have named me as a girl. She said she didn't remember.  I was disappointed until I thought of the names of my older sisters. I think I was better off having Monica, the one I chose. My father wanted Adeline for a girl. No thanks!
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

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stephaniec

well, I definitely would not be radical Hippie MTF bi-trans pre op hominid .possibly progressing to a radical Hippie post-op MTF bi trans female hominid.
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Sena

I have also asked my mom what i would have been called if i was born a girl dont really remember what it was but didnt really like much happier with the name i have chosen. Will say this i like that i am able to name myself this time , i was told my name came from the end credits of a movie or something (not a very meaning full or special name)so i am happy that i now can choose a name that has a lot more meaning for me.
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RobynD

I would have been Elizabeth and likely nicknamed Beth. Very fine names, but i too feel like Robyn suits me better.


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Ms Grace

Quote from: Harley Quinn on August 08, 2016, 09:11:08 AM
The age old question of Nature v/s Nurture...  I would have to think that you'd still be Grace in spirit, but we are also shaped by our experiences.  So while you're the same person, I don't believe that you would be nearly as strong and compasionate without the struggles that you were born to endure.  Happily oblivious to the other side...  Would you have had the same friends? Probably not...  Sure some would be in your life for sure, however, the dynamic would have definately been different...  In my sumation, you'd be the same person, but your views would definately be different.

Had I been born genetic cis female I can track how my life might have progressed up until the age of 12, at that point I would have started secondary school and it would have been an all girls school as opposed to the all boys school I went to. Hard to say how things might have progressed from that point, would I have ended up in university doing the same courses and if so would it have been the same one I attended...if not I wouldn't know many current friends nor doing the work I'm doing now with the skills I have. So yeah, things would have diverged significantly...for better or worse it cannot be said. That's why, despite being trans I'm still pretty happy with how things have worked out.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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herekitten

I can't count how many nights, while I'm drifting off to sleep, this question works its way into my head and the many possible scenarios. My friend "If" is always there as I'm drifting off.  I would have my own biological adult children by now and no doubt they would have given me grandchildren.  I would know what that 'pain' of childbirth was and what it must mean in that moment of birthing. Would I have married for money as I was intentioned to do at one time? .. the list is endless.  One thing I never change is how I look physically - I would just add a vagina, and maybe slightly bigger breasts and slightly curvier hips -- well okay I'd change myself a bit - haha.  Then I shake our mutual friend "If" off my mind and I drift off to sleep.  So I know how you feel. You are the person you are meant to be -- Grace.
It is the lives we encounter that make life worth living. - Guy De Maupassant
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Dee Marshall

I never got the chance to ask my mother that question. I know I caught her by surprise. She was supposed to be medically sterile due to a surgery at the time. My family never named anyone after a living person, so I wouldn't have been named for my father's mother. Thank goodness, Maud, ugh! My mother's mother passed away while my mother was carrying me, so a possible answer, despite the fact that none of my younger girl cousins was named for her, is Elizabeth. They called her Bessie, thank you, no. I wouldn't have minded Liz, Lizzy, Beth, Bess, or most of the other variants.

Then again, my name is gender neutral, which is why I kept it. Most likely I would still be Dion, perhaps spelled differently as they were in a rush to come up with a name for the unexpected surprise.

I did find out that the standard American pronunciation of my name, two syllables, is not how it's pronounced in Ireland. My name is the origin of the American name "Dean". Before I realized that I'm trans I toyed with adopting that pronunciation. When I change my name legally it will change from "Dion Patrick" to "Dione Patrice" and perhaps I'll pronounce the first name as "Deena".
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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Tanya62

Great thought.
My mom told me often that I was named after one of her girlfriends. So the first time around, I switched my name to Patricia. That was, after all, her girlfirends name. All during my life, it seems everyone liked calling me Patricia. It was all in good fun, y'know.   :P  People still like calling me Patricia.
Everyone that is except me. I was not allowed to call myself Patricia. That would have been like saying I wanted to be a girl. I got beat up enough as it was trying to hide who I was.
So naturally, when my first chance came, I chose to call my self Patricia. GSR was the right answer. For nearly 20 years. It's Patrick on my birth certificate again for certain reasons, but I have chosen Tanya as my identity and id. What Shakespeare said, 'A rose by any other name would smell as sweet' is still valid. You are who you think you are.
If I had been born genetic female, I just know I would have been Patricia, not Tanya

If you aren't learning from your mistakes, you aren't paying attention
Ok, not as depressed, but still working on it.
GRS, sometime in 1991
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