From "he" to "she".

[dentifrice]

Hello,

I'm not planing to transition the full way so "he" will probably fit me for a little more time without any problem.
BUT I have a question anyway!

I'm living with the same room-mate for 4 years. I only knew me as a guy. I came out to him a year ago and he is totally open minded.
It was just a verbal-coming out and I never (or very rarely) wear dresses at home with him around. I don't really need it and I feel ok being his "guy" room-mate.

But my question was :
Being seen as a guy by someone as you close friends or relatives for decades, is it long for them to switch from "he" to "she" when they talk about you after you came out as a girl ?

[Cindy]

Hi,

Yes it can take awhile and it may not be anything more than knowing you for so long that they forget to switch. I still get it from people I've known for a long time. Nowadays I remind them. It may be important to be gentle with your room mate.

Oh and don't expect people to use correct pronouns before you are FT, that is a big ask in my opinion.  I f you are presenting as female it is expected to be treated as female, it is more difficult if you are not presenting.

Cindy

[dentifrice]

Don't worry ^^
For me it's not an issue. For the moment I'm not presenting in girl-mode and I don't feel bad when I'm referred as "he".
So I don't expect people to change pronouns...

But I just was wondering.
Some time I try to picture "what if I was full-time girl?" even if it's not going to happen (or not in the next few years).

What about my parents, would they refer to me as their "son" in private ? what about in public or when someone ask for new about me ?
And my GF, would she switch easily ?
This kind of question.

So, for the moment I'm not concerned by this problem. But I'm curious ^^

[Jennygirl]

Oh and don't expect people to use correct pronouns before you are FT, that is a big ask in my opinion.  I f you are presenting as female it is expected to be treated as female, it is more difficult if you are not presenting.

This. Definite +1.

Going FT made all the difference for me. Now it's only a few people that occasionally get it wrong. They always correct themselves and apologize, to which I say "No big deal- but thank you for correcting yourself"

Don't worry ^^
For me it's not an issue. For the moment I'm not presenting in girl-mode and I don't feel bad when I'm referred as "he".
So I don't expect people to change pronouns...

But I just was wondering.
Some time I try to picture "what if I was full-time girl?" even if it's not going to happen (or not in the next few years).

That is a question that will probably come up again and again and again. Have awareness. If it starts to bug you or impact your life in a negative way, it may be time to seek the help of a therapist and start considering a transition. It's common for transsexuals to go through several periods of delaying transition either due to shame or stress about the unknowns involved with changing gender presentation. That said, transition isn't for everyone. That's where a therapist can be very helpful!

What about my parents, would they refer to me as their "son" in private ? what about in public or when someone ask for new about me ?
And my GF, would she switch easily ?
This kind of question.

So, for the moment I'm not concerned by this problem. But I'm curious ^^

I would say it's going to be a similar thing as your friend who has known you for a long time. It takes time, and they are definitely going to have a lot harder time referring to you as female if you are still presenting male. A lot of families and S.O.'s have a hard enough time making the switch even when you're full time. However, you may have a really open and accepting family. Everyone's scenario is different so there is really no way to be sure about it.

Also, I think that people are more comfortable with the idea of being transgendered when you are actively doing something about it... i.e. for sure going to make some sort of transition whether it is to the other gender or even somewhere in between. In my experience, people were actually pretty excited about it when I came out to them after just beginning my transition. YMMV!

Good luck