WTH grr family sometimes.....

[calico]

This is a kinda rant/vent/share of some aggravation my family does sometimes...

So over the last couple weeks I have been planning to go see my niece who is 500 miles away from me (not a  short drive) and well the time has come that I am/was going to go down to see her. Well my sister ,her mom, who has repeatedly asked if I am going just sprung this bs on me. I have off until tues (gotta work tues) and I was really stoked that I was going to get 2 full days to see my niece, now my sister who wanted me there as well, because she didn't want to be around her ex and his wife is saying "I don't think its a good idea for you to stay sunday, because I want to do stuff with just her." WTH she want me there than wants me gone sat night, this is BS to me,  I understand her wanting personal time with her and I being quite to her about how I feel but, I haven't seen my niece in probably 8 years so this was really important to me, and now I don't even get a day with her? WTH? the way I feel is if I cant see her more than a day why even go? and of course my sister is going to be all "wtf why didn't you come, and thanks I really needed you but nobody cares about me" typical melodrama BS  ......  so pissed/aggravated and sad about this and just don't know what to do..  just cant win with her, so I'm just going to send a text later saying the car broke and I had to be towed back to town, that way she wont be pissed at me because I couldn't understand her need for personal time or I was "just thinking of me" or any other bs she comes up with .....

Ill just see about going down some other time so I can spend  more time without it seeming like a competition.

[Ltl89]

I'm sorry you aren't getting the time to see your niece.  However, I'm sure you will be able to make plans to see her later in the future. 

One thing to note, I'm not sure lying will really work.  It's likely your sister will figure things out.  Is it possible for you to be honest and tell her that you aren't able to make the trip because of the short period of time you would be able to stay?  You don't have to confront her about wanting personal time with her daughter. Though, I know you've had drama issues with your sister before, so I don't know if that would work.

I'm a little confused by the story, but I'm detecting that she doesn't have custody or even joint custody.  In that case, I could understand why she may want some alone time with her child. It has to be tough not to be able to see your kid on a regular basis.

[calico]

No she doesn't have custody, her daughter, my niece.  left because she wasn't being a responsible parent/wasn't providing  her stable living conditions, then the step-mom pushed the ex into custody, and eventual child support. her and her daughter don't get along actually very well (big surprise) I completely understand her wanting personal time, that's why I don't want to give her any answer pertaining to me not getting enough time, in any form or capacity. its just simpler to say oh the car broke than to give her ammo to use. She is very selfish and demanding with little to no return, she actually wanted me to pay for half the room, for the total time she's there ....   

[Ltl89]

Yeah, I wouldn't pay for the room if you aren't going to be there.  That's really not fair to you. 

If you think she will believe the car story, then you could tell her that.  Whatever doesn't cause more conflict for you with her.  I've heard your previous stories so I sympathize.  I just hope she believes it.  Knowing my sisters and the fact that I can't lie without everyone knowing, it wouldn't work.  Although, I know nothing about cars, so maybe they would buy that one,lol. 

Wishing you luck and hoping you will see your niece in the near future.

[spacial]

No she doesn't have custody, her daughter, my niece.  left because she wasn't being a responsible parent/wasn't providing  her stable living conditions, then the step-mom pushed the ex into custody, and eventual child support. her and her daughter don't get along actually very well (big surprise) I completely understand her wanting personal time, that's why I don't want to give her any answer pertaining to me not getting enough time, in any form or capacity. its just simpler to say oh the car broke than to give her ammo to use. She is very selfish and demanding with little to no return, she actually wanted me to pay for half the room, for the total time she's there ....   

I would steer clear of that situation. It is fraught with so many complications and issues. You are being involved in each.

More, there are axes to grind here. Possibly an incompetant mother loosing custody to a new wife. That has major potential for all sorts of problems, none of which you can possibly get involved with.

Finally, in your position, I would be thinking I was being set up as a patsy, to take a fall for something. Little girls, grown men with gender/sexuality issues.

Your choice. But by the sound of it, the niece won't be particularly interested anyway.

[Jamie D]

Calico, your "car broke down" alibi may be face-saving, and may be the easy way out, but it seems to me, telling it like it is would be better in the long run.

Show that you can not be trampled.  Show that you are not going to put up with the BS.

Don't let yourself be used and manipulated.