de Transitioning

[Anatta]

thank you for all the replies and advice everyone. it has been a while since my last (srs) surgery. and i only get these feelings like once in a blue moon and its always from being told i cant do something i want to do like go out alone. i am happy that i was talked into everything because my life is so much better than it use to be. i did go to the clinic today in order to tell about things. im under a stupid contract between the clinic and my mom so they do have a say in what i do but i think im going to start working with the clinic again to so i can start to deal with this underlying issues.

Kia Ora Tristan,

That's good news...Look after your 'self'...

Metta Zenda

[calico]

I believe I understand and can relate to you, in the begining I was very reckless, and made poor choice's because I didnt know better and I seen way to much good in people who really weren't. I always seen it this way and because of my big heart people took advantage of me. eventually I met someone and they were kind enough to watch out for me for a bit. But I was incredibly naive and well innocent. now that I have learned a bit, I still look at the world through my rose colored glass's but I know how to keep my heart at bay. remember you can always text me or send me a msg or call if ya need to talk 

[calico]

You too? Yeah this is the same thing I'm going through and trying to learn how to tell the two apart

its very dificult, if not almost imposible.
It would seem those who have big hearts get hurt the easiest, "Thy heart is big, get thee apart and weep." -shakespeare
we have the tendency of seeing the good in everything -and that is what hurts us the most, sometimes its best to have someone protect us even though we want our independence. I would say try not to see it as a constrictive thing but as a learning experience, use the time to ask questions and to express your feelings of those who are trying to protect you. keep an open mind and heart as well, this may be the most dificult thing to do. Its easy to close yourself off and not trust anyone you meet but it also closes you off from positive experience's as well, you have to learn how not to trust anyone initially but to keep an open view so that you can learn who you can trust. It honestly is a time and experience thing and it hurts sometimes and is perfectly ok to cry ever so often. I may text you later today.  keep a chin up,

[cynthialee]

Have you considered moving to a more genderqueer or fluid presentation.

My spouse thought for awhile ze may be FTM but it turns out ze is just a garden variety androgyne. Ze takes T to help stabelise hir mental state and goes through life as a genderqueer. Presentation is mainly butchdyke but somewhat fem.
Personaly I do not get it, but that is ok. I love my spouse and if ze is an androgyne then I can accept that.

[Janae]

Tristan

I think your going to be just fine. I think a major problem we all have is adjusting to a new role when we've been used to another for so long. All the things you used to do can still be done just with a bit of tweaking. I'd just say to prioritize. And remember to put your safety first. I agree with everyone else about seeking follow up therapy. It certainly couldn't hurt. 

[Lanalicious34]

Ok I have to chime in. My personal experince is before I really made my mind up I switched a few times. Way before I was on my way with hormones. Going from a gay life style to a trans one is a big deal on your brain. I had changed my name early and had gone on hormones 3 times before making my mind up. I even went as Lan for short from Lana. However after fighting with in my self I made my mind up and said ether you do this or your going to die. And thats when I knew for sure this was something I wanted. Since getting my breast done in 2011 I have become very happy, And with in the last year I have got off all my depression meds. I think you need to know your self before making any drastic changes and that goes for any form of surgery. Sure you can remove your breast implants. But years of female hormones wont make your femaleness go away forever after you stop taking it.

You need to love your self for who you are. Not what you are. And this can take time.

[Lanalicious34]

Tristan  As long as your happy thats all that matters. 

[Jenni]

I had to detransition. it was the most painful decisions I ever had to make.  I just stopped presenting as female. The only thing that were hard to explain were the times people noticed my chest stands out more than a male's is expected. I'm back on mones and hope to start transition full time by the end of this year.

[JLT1]

Ok, I'm new to the acting "like a woman" as I've always acted like a man!  However, now that I am more or less being myself, I have found that my oldest sister and I act almost exactly the same.  She does not follow all the "feminine rules" and neither do I.  Isn't part of this transitioning just me being me?  I'd address the feminine rules thing if I actually knew what they were.  Given that I am not attracted to men and I actually don't even like most men, all I can figure out is to not run around alone as safety has become an issue.  The rest is just me...  Am I missing something? 

My advice to Tristan would be for her just to be herself but to also be safe.  Men are rather odd creatures sometimes..... Yea, there will be a mistake or two (or more) but that happens when you're young, not necessarily because your transgendered.

[Jenni]

tristen is right You have to be yourself. When I was full time, I would constantly try and be what I thought would be considered female movements, gentures, and movements. It's a fultile thing really because really you'll get there on your own. You're being resocialized female and trust me there's a difference. Yes, I've always been female but there were tons of things I had to learn because I never grew up female. Eventually you couldn't peg me for trans by my movements and such.My face is a different story but I stay in areas where being trans is excepted so I wouldn't have that problem.