Public anxiety

[Riley Skye]

Normally when I'm at home I like dressing femininely and even go out in public but my problem is that with my somewhat masculine body I get very anxious dressing like such in public. Now that it's summer I'm starting to wear short clothes and its just making me nervous to go out. Oddly enough I was perfectly comfortable in my winter clothes. I guess I get nervous because the clothes reveal a little more skin. Part of me is happy to start dressing how I want and another part of me is having that same embarrassment that I've had for years about being a girl....I hate they way society sees men dressed in womens clothing. I think my best bet would be to wait until some changes start taking place so I can feel a little more comfortable with my body and clothes.

[Heather]

Julia you should only go as far as your comfortable to go at this point. Sure they are benefits to going out before you fully pass mainly for me it was to get used to fact I might never pass so I better get used to people staring. But to be honest it has improved my comfort level in public I'm still have a lot of muscle mass but it doesn't stop me from wearing short sleeve or even sleeveless shirts. But that is because that is what I'm comfortable with you will get more comfortable as time moves along there is no need to rush things just go with what your comfortable with and eventually you will be fine in public I assure you. I was just as nervous as you are and still am on some days but for the most part I'm comfortable with myself. Anyways just go at your on pace and you'll be fine Julia.

[Joanna Dark]

Have you considered dressing more andro in public first? I know a lot of the girls here like wearing dresses and skirts and stuff and that is great (I would love to rock a cute little sundress) but Heather is spot on: only go as far as your comfort level allows you. It is great advice. You don't want to go to further then that. And dressing andro is kind of a middle ground where you can be femme but still not attract any unwanted attention because your andro and plenty of people dress that way. It is totally rock star!

For tops, just get some printed tees that are made for women but aren't too femme. Plus they will prob have wider necks so you can get used to showing off a little more skin. I wear a lot of form fitting striped tops with boat necks so they are still kinda andro (I may be fooling myself) but not as femme as say a scooped neck top.

For shorts, some tight plaid ones might work. Or ones that go to mid thigh almost to the knee. Some tighter cargo shorts may work too. Try them in some fun colors too like red or baby blue. Also, get some canvas flats. They are fairly andro.

I think going this way will help ease you into dressing in public and do it without attracting any attention. Plus if nothing else it will get you out of having to wear drab male things. eww lol cause let's be honest who wants to dress that way lol jk

[barbie]

Expressing myself has been more important than passing or not being spotted in public.
Strangers recognize me as a young woman, but I have to frequently interact with my colleagues, family, friends, students, government officials and town folks. Here, everybody knows each other as my place is an isolated island. In this case, passing is just meaningless, as all of them know that I am a dad.

When I go to other cities, I do sometimes wear skirts and heels. But, at my work place and home town here, I just wear short pants and flat sandals in summer. Even this is not allowed in most cases, as my workplace (university) is very conservative. People here expect that professors and teachers should wear conservatively.

However, nowadays people here gradually are accustomed to and accept my feminine expression. It takes time and patience. Still, I do not wear high heels or skirts at my workplace. Nevertheless, I can express my femininity by wearing women's flat sandals, tight tops and jeans that can reveal my body line, and sometimes bangles and even toe painting. Also, I sometimes wear facial makeup at my workplace.

barbie~~

[Anna_81]

I agree with what everyone else has said. Just go as far as you feel comfortable.
I myself am into running and sports, so I tend to buy tight fitting sports shirts, especially soccer shirts!!, as I like the feel of the material. I also tend to only buy whites or really pale colours as I feel it makes me look more feminine, but yeah once you start experimenting you will find out what works best for you. Atleast it's summer over there!! Im so jealous, it's the start of winter here in New Zealand and it's really cold!!

[MariaMx]

Just hang in there and give it some time. I remember first time I pushed myself out the door. I was dressed kind of andro but still I ran back home and inside after only making it about 100 meters down the street 

I think transition, for many at least, is a bit like sitting down in a really warm bath. You have to ease your way in to avoid the shock of the scolding water. The strategy I landed on was to do one new small and somewhat scary thing every day. If you do that it won't take long before you don't even think about it when you go out.

[Riley Skye]

Thanks for the advice guys. I think I'll just continue to dress androginously  for the most part. For me it isindeed about getting more comfortable with the clothes I wear more than anything.. so far I just have a few pairs of clothes with just one shirt that's sitting in wait for when my confidence grows. Its going to be a process but something I'll have fun working on!

[Ltl89]

I can totally relate.  You want to go full speed, but realize that you feel ready to do so.  That's understandable.  There is no wrong way to transition.  I think dressing more andro is a good solution for now.  You start to progress yourself further, but move at a more comfortable pace.  Sounds like you have a good plan.

[Theo]

These days I am almost 100% dressed in girl's clothes, even in the office, but they are andro enough that I pass as male(-ish...). Once I get pegged as female in those, I will andro it up again bit by bit until I go full-time. Easiest way to get the best of both worlds.

(that being said, I also have some clothes that I wear at home or when visiting friends / family that I'm out to, as they stretch the andro boundaries a bit, e.g. super skinny jeans vs. just skinny)

[Tiffanie]

I used to be very anxious in public even in androgynous clothes.  I just knew everyone was staring at me or making fun of me.  Now I wear relatively feminine clothes and shoes and don't even think about it.  I still get anxious when I think someone is staring at me.

I agree with all the comments ... it takes time and don't push too far beyond your comfort zone.