I have crossed the line, it cannot be uncrossed.

[DietFresca]

So I have two types of bras... everyday utilitarian bras that are big, comfy, fit great and make me feel like I'm wearing a soft hug all day long while providing support and shaping me quite femininely.

I've been wearing them daily since a teenager and I simply wear a t-shirt over them, and a button down shirt over that and I've *never* been found out... so of course when this new job came up, business as usual... I wear bras under my shirts, and no one knew, everything was good.

Then I went and discovered slightly padded molded cup bras that increase your bust size and give you the perfect feminine shape to your breasts... didn't think it would be different than any other bra, should be completely invisible under enough layers, right?

No.  There are girls I work with who look at my breasts when they talk to me now, guys are really awkward with me too... and I'm like "nononono, wait I'll go back to wearing the less noticeable bras" but it's too late, isn't it?  I mean they've noticed that I do wear bras, so even going back to the less noticeable ones, they will be noticeable because now they're going to be looking for a bra.

So what can I do?  I can't un-ring this bell.  I was thinking I could tell them I have gynocomastia but that won't explain why the huge jump in bra sizes.  So far there are two options I'm considering:

1.  Leave this job, start another and never make the mistake of wearing the super obvious bras again to work
2.  Keep doing my job and do it extraordinarily well so their discomfort over my crossdressing is overshadowed by their appreciation of my work.

I feel kind of depressed, my work was always a place I could go where people admired me, complimented me and sought my advice.  Now I'm just the weirdo who wears bras.

[Q]

DietFresca, I would say don't worry about it too much.

If you feel uncomfortable wearing the obvious bras, stop wearing them.

I don't think you should give up your job over it.

So, you've pushed things further than you are comfortable with... but, that's ok - it just helps you learn what you are and aren't comfortable with. I have as well at times over the years, sometimes to the point of having people directly question me.

People generally don't like confrontation, so if they haven't asked you about it so far, I think they probably won't if you just stop wearing them. They're even less likely to ask about it then as time goes on... they'd make themselves look silly if they suddenly asked you if you were wearing a bra two weeks ago for example. They'll then forget about it; you'll forget you were embarrassed about it, and all will be well again.

Don't feel depressed. I really don't think it's worth worrying about. At least you have the confidence to try things, eh. There are many people who wouldn't be as confident as you. 

[DietFresca]

People generally don't like confrontation, so if they haven't asked you about it so far, I think they probably won't if you just stop wearing them. They're even less likely to ask about it then as time goes on... they'd make themselves look silly if they suddenly asked you if you were wearing a bra two weeks ago for example. They'll then forget about it; you'll forget you were embarrassed about it, and all will be well again.

Don't feel depressed. I really don't think it's worth worrying about. At least you have the confidence to try things, eh. There are many people who wouldn't be as confident as you. 

Excellent points... it just seems bigger to me right now because of the reactions of some of my coworkers... one I really respected who I was in a meeting with, whenever she talked to me she looked directly at my chest... if that's unacceptable for a guy to do how come a girl can do it?  Anyway, I have a lot of respect for her capabilities and I hope I can normalize relationships with her.  Time will tell.  That's actually a picture of me at work, but I normally keep the top shirt buttoned... normally.

[JulieC.]

I agree with the last post. If it's going to make uncomfortable stop wearing the padded bras.  Your co-workers may or may not notice but either way it's none of their business what you wear or don't wear.  I can see by your picture the padded bra gives you a nice shape.  There is no way a dress shirt is going to hide that.  So if you keep wearing them people are going to look.  To answer your question - Yes I think you can uncross the line.

[randomroads]

I'm having a hard time coming to grips with the idea that you didn't even try wearing the padded bra before you went to work with it on. Wasn't it kind of obvious that it would make your breasts look larger than you normally look when you put it on? Why can't you simply just stop wearing them if it makes you uncomfortable? Why do you feel you need to continue doing something that makes you unhappy because you feel like people think you're a weirdo?

[DietFresca]

I'm having a hard time coming to grips with the idea that you didn't even try wearing the padded bra before you went to work with it on. Wasn't it kind of obvious that it would make your breasts look larger than you normally look when you put it on? Why can't you simply just stop wearing them if it makes you uncomfortable? Why do you feel you need to continue doing something that makes you unhappy because you feel like people think you're a weirdo?

I should point out *I* like wearing the bra, see previous posts where I positively gush about it... but I thought under two other layers it should not be noticeable to others, and yeah I can look in the mirror and I can see it, but same with the normal utilitarian bra, because I know it's there I can see it.

I just figured since no one at work knew I'd be wearing a bra, the signs that I am, even with the padded one, would go unnoticed.  Apparently the signs are distractingly noticeable, and that I did not expect.  Curious now where that threshold is exactly... but at any rate, I'm dropping back down to my regular bras for work, the super shapely padded ones will just have to be my weekend bras.  Such an odd concept, a weekend bra.