All I can say is that depending on the type of hair you have and if you can get through the "awkward" stage without giving up, you got it licked. My hair is somewhat curly but with no uniformity to the curls and definately has it's own mind, so it takes me twice as long to get visable length than people with straight hair.
Sounds like your hair may be similar to mine. I can brush it when it's wet but after it's dry I leave it alone. Only thing I do is sparingly run my fingers through it to kind of give it some kind of order. If I try brushing or combing when it's dry, just picture really big hair that is extremely frizzy. I have to use moisturizing shampoo and moisturizing conditioner, this helps prevent slit ends and the frizzies, and afterward I use an antifrizz serum. Then I use quite a bit of the strongest hold gel that I can find. I get it to a somewhat tameness that I can live with and then spray it with an antihumidity hairspray. When it does dry and it feels stiff, I smooth it out with my palms and knock the crust of the gel out and it will pretty much stay that way. Usually the Garnier Fructise Sleek and Shine for the shampoo, conditioner and hairspray is the only thing I have found that works for me.
I can't use a blow drier or a straightener because it just don't work with my hair. I have tried chemically straightening it and that really didn't work either. So I just let it do what it wants to do. Have patience especially with curly hair because it takes a lot longer to see the length. I have been growing mine out for close to two years with just trims to try to get it all the same length and its just now to my shoulders. No more haircuts for me, just trims to get rid of split ends, until it reaches at least halfway to my butt. There are little victories though like when you can finally pull it to your nose to smell it.
