Father's Day, bah humbug

[Sarah Louise]

I hated FD even before I transitioned, now every time I see an advertisement I groan.

While my family accepts me, I have yet to get flowers on Mother's day (or Father's day).

I realize my kids have one biological mother, but if they have to celebrate FD couldn't they just give me flowers, earrings, necklace, etc.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I have not gotten anything for FD in years.  I don't expect anything for MD, but I would like at least a "Hi.  How are you doing?"

[Beth Andrea]

My ex and I were out having dinner a couple weeks ago, and I mentioned I wouldn't be in town for FD, so she and the kids shouldn't plan anything for me for FD...she says, "Do we ever?"

[Tristan]

This is so true. I guess people don't think about it or something?

[Ltl89]

I'm so sorry for everyone here.  My parents are very special to me and I make sure to at least plan dinner or something.  Even if we can't align our schedules, we will do something another day.  To simply not do anything is a little cold. 

Well, here is a pre-emptive happy parents day from your pal LTL 

[Christine167]

I don't think that I will hate Father's Day. My son is very special to me and I will always be his father but I would like something pretty instead of something practical. Even if as time goes on he just draws a picture for me to keep or calls to send me his love. Those would be great as time goes on.

[LizMarie]

I've spent most of my father's days alone anyway. My spouse always goes back east to spend time with her family from early June to early-to-mid July. My sons never remembered and now don't want to remember.

The sole exception has been my daughter, for whom I am truly thankful in so many ways.

[Chloe]

My kids just called!!! I am very OFFENDED . . .

They're using Father's Day as an excuse to come home tomorrow because??

LOL They don't wanna be around their real mother any longer in New York !!!

[Beth Andrea]

This thread has all the makings of a full-blown pity party...it's time to put on our Big Gurl panties, and take back FD, even if the family won't accept us.

Yes, it hurts...but I've spent too much of my life agonizing over how others have hurt me...I'm not going to do any more days like those! I will take myself out to dinner (or make something really really good at home--think "bacon"), start a new project (sewing or modeling), and ENJOY myself.

Too bad for them if they choose to stay away...but that is their loss, not mine.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

This thread has all the makings of a full-blown pity party...it's time to put on our Big Gurl panties, and take back FD, even if the family won't accept us.

Yes, it hurts...but I've spent too much of my life agonizing over how others have hurt me...I'm not going to do any more days like those! I will take myself out to dinner (or make something really really good at home--think "bacon"), start a new project (sewing or modeling), and ENJOY myself.

Too bad for them if they choose to stay away...but that is their loss, not mine.

Ooooo  Bacon. 

[Jamie D]

I think I am going to take my two daughters and wife out for Sunday brunch.  One is just getting home today from college.

Not so much to celebrate, but really to try and reconnect.  It has been a difficult last two years.

[PHXGiRL]

We all have our own personal feelings but fathers day has never made me feel weird of any sort.

I am a father to my daughter and that will never change no matter my appearance. I actually feel weird when my daughter says "your not my dad jokingly because your a girl now." I just want my daughter to always look at me at a parental figure I don't care what she calls me or what holiday I get Fathers day or Mothers day. In public she calls me by my real girl name not dad.

She has accepted me as a mother figure completely. I got a vase of flowers this year for mothers day from her mother and her. Even got a card! It was beautiful but I almost felt like it wasn't right. Guess its one of those things we adjust to?

[Jamie D]

<wiping the tears away>

You are very lucky to have such a wonderful kid.   :'-)

[Christine167]

If your kid(s) like you enough to call or give you anything other than a lump of coal then you are indeed blessed.

My son is two so Fathers Day hugs and a shared breakfast I believe in order for me.

[PHXGiRL]

<wiping the tears away>

You are very lucky to have such a wonderful kid.   :'-)

She is a great kid! She makes me proud!

[ashley_thomas]

My wife said she's always conflicted about Father's Day, I just told her consider it one of the benefits, you don't have to do anything.  I don't miss it, don't need it either.  The hugs and kisses I get every morning and evening from my sons and the support from my wife is beyond enough.

[bethany]

For me Father's Day has been tough. And this going to be very hard on me to type out. So I ask you all to please hold off judging me until you fully read my post.

Back in the late 90's I was in a failing relationship of only 7 months. Well 4 months   into it we found out that my girlfriend was pregnant. We were constantly at odds. And because of my disability I needed quite abit of help. So that along with the fighting made for a very bad environment to bring a new born child into. I could not physically take care of a new born and the baby's mom could not give me the help I needed. We broke up and I moved back home with my parents. I was shattered knowing that I would never know my child. The breakup was very ugly.

My daughter was born the day after my grandfather's birthday. I love her even though I never seen her. In my heart I wanted to fight for custody but knew I could not physically take care of my daughter. Plus a child needs their mom.
A month after her birth they moved to a different state. I knew of the move from a friend of the mom's. Anyway for my daughter's first christmas my parents and I had sent down a box of gifts that included hand knitted items that my mom made. In return I recieved a phone call asking "How the bleep did I get their address?" Well to answer that while we were together we went to her family reunion there and I remembered the town, street and name or her relatives. So I just looked them up on yahoo's old people search. That was the last phone conversation I had with her. I wanted my daughter to live in as stable environment  as possible. And so I didn't want to get into any fights that would cause either of us to slander the other. So that was it or so I thought.

Move ahead to the time facebook became the popular social media site that it is today. I found both mother and daughter on it. (My daughter is now in her mid teens) I had sent the mom a message and we actually befriended each other. there was and still is a lot of animosity between us but we try to be civil to each other.  Now back in February I came out as transgender on facebook. I had sent the mom a private note that said "Just in case that there is a chance that my daughter comes looking for me in her future there is something that I need her to know about me. Well much to my surprise I recieved a message from my daughter. For the first time in her life we were having a form of conversation. She is verry bitter and rightfully so that I was not in her life. But I told her that she is not the reason why. I did not go into details and did not put her mom down in any way. I let my daughter put all the blame on me for not being there. What else could I do? 

So even though technically I am a father there is no way I am a Dad but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my daughter. 

If there is anyone who finishes reading this long winded post, please pass me a tissue.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

Fathers day is tough. I watch others getting recognition for mothers day, but have none.

I don't really want fathers day, and I think I can expect nothing which is fine but, it would just be good to not be removed from the whole parental recognition thing.

That's why I don't like fathers day. Its a reminder. It makes me feel second class.

x

[Sarah Louise]

I guess I started something I shouldn't have.

Father's Day in and of itself is "Fine".  And most "fathers" appreciate it and enjoy having their own day.

Problem is, its me who doesn't want to celebrate fathers day, I know biologically I am a father.  But mentally I am a woman (I know I am not their natural mother) and I would not want to take away from Mother's day and the rights of mothers to be honored by their children.

As I said, my family accepts me, but the only Cards that are out their are for Fathers and all the advertisements are for targeted gifts.

It just doesn't enter my kids minds to buy me flowers or jewelry which is what I would like.

[Beth Andrea]

For me Father's Day has been tough. And this going to be very hard on me to type out. So I ask you all to please hold off judging me until you fully read my post.

...

If there is anyone who finishes reading this long winded post, please pass me a tissue.

*hugs*