So sick of waiting

[Jayne]

I first spoke to my GP about gender reassignment over 2 1/2 years ago, at the time I was hoping to finish my transition by the time I hit 40 & now it feels like I won't even start HRT by my 40th.
I had 2 appointments at Charing cross clinic last week, minutes before I left my flat the clinic phoned me to say that they had to cancel the therapist appointment due to illness but my endo appointment was still going ahead.
The endo appointment only lasted 10 - 20 minutes & I was told that my T levels were abnormally low, the endo was surprised that i'd never had any breast development, he told me that they want several more blood tests so I had one done that day & now have to wait for one done early in the morning by my GP for comparison.

My next endo appointment is now in October but he said that they would have to wait until a therapist gives the go ahead for HRT to commence & I don't even have a date for my next therapist visit.
Over the last 2 weeks my depression has started getting worse, i've had a few days this week where I could barely drag myself out of bed & if it wasn't for Poopie insisting that he needed to go outside then I doubt i'd have dragged myself out of my pit.
I know that self medicating is dangerous but I don't know how much longer I can hold off, it feels like CHX are just going to keep me waiting for years before they start my HRT, they don't seem to care that my life has been on hold for years now.
When I looked on the NHS website about gender reassignment the amount of comments complaining about transitions being held up for years is staggering.

Sorry about the miserable rant but I needed to get this off of my extremely flat chest

[suzifrommd]

I know that self medicating is dangerous but I don't know how much longer I can hold off

I'd make sure all your doctors know this. Make sure they know if they drag their feet, this is a real possibility.

[Jayne]

I'd make sure all your doctors know this. Make sure they know if they drag their feet, this is a real possibility.

I've seriously contemplated giving them an ultimatum as NHS guidelines clearly state that if someone is self medicating then they should be brought into a controlled HRT regime asap, I just hate confrontation of any sort, for some reason i'm happy to stand up for others but feel uncomfortable when it comes to standing up for myself

[Holly58]

  Hi
Why is self meding dangerous if you have a full set base line bloods do as I have blood pressure and bmi is good then if you have 3 6 12 months bloods done I am very close to either going private and getting a shared care thing going or just self med.
Ok only if you have no doubts or think about is this really for me and have answer all the questions about do you know the full effects . Ie your bits stop being  boy bits .
Holy x

[Jayne]

There are several health risks involved with HRT, one of the primary risks is DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis).
Taking any medication without professional supervision is risky which is why one of the golden rules on this site is that you are not allowed to discuss dosages for self medicating & with good reason.
At the moment my endo isn't sure if my T levels were only low due to poor health (or other medication) or if my T levels fluctuate, if my T levels fluctuate then self medication could be especially dangerous for me, whilst i'm very tempted to threaten to do this in order to hurry my endo up it would be a hollow threat, although my endo wouldn't know that.

As i'd already posted, i've been waiting for almost 3 years to be put on HRT, this is partly due to a previous employer not alowing me to have time off for appointments but it's also due to a combination of extremely long waiting times for Charring Cross clinic at London & the fact that Charring Cross follow an overly strict regime that prevents you from starting HRT if you cannot present full time.
If possible then avoid CHX like the plague