Look before you leap?

[deviousxen]

I leapt with a parachute I made myself from another angle... And soon learned that parachutes do absolutely nothing when the laws of physics are then... Broken xD

[Alex_C]

I leapt with a parachute I made myself from another angle... And soon learned that parachutes do absolutely nothing when the laws of physics are then... Broken xD

This is an age of broken, mispacked, and missing parachutes anyway. I'm poorer than ->-bleeped-<- and yet am transitioning now, when I was a business owner etc I buried myself in long hours and just tried not to think about sex, romance, etc.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

[Alyssa M.]

I made this decision like I make every other decision: I spent a lot of time considering my options, researching, etc., and then I went with my gut.

[Northern Jane]

I was too much "ahead of the curve" through the 1960's and early 70's, always pushing the boundaries and "banging on the door". As soon as something became available, I was there .... maybe not first in line but close to the front. I knew where I had to go and just dove in head first. It was like being in a burning building with only a window to escape - sooner or later it gets hot enough that you just jump and take your chances because you know if you stay, you are toast!

[Cindy]

A line from Star Trek always comes to mind.  Ambassador Galron, a Klingon, stated "Make a decision, right or wrong.  And deal with the consequences later."


Janet

I'm taking far too long to leap. I know what I have to do. I procrastinate. I don't about other issues in life; I'm very strident. I should deal with the consequences later. I think. Or maybe not. Damn.

Cindy

[DamagedChris]

I'm taking far too long to leap. I know what I have to do. I procrastinate. I don't about other issues in life; I'm very strident. I should deal with the consequences later. I think. Or maybe not. Damn.

Cindy

Amen to that.
I keep remembering this time when I was at the pool with my friends as a kid; I didn't know how to swim well and everyone was wanting me to dive in with them, so I kept running up to the edge but just freezing at the edge, teetering but not jumping. And no matter how many times I tried it, I couldn't jump in...and felt ridiculous, asking myself, why can't you just do this?

I would love to jump right in, but keep being afraid I'll drown. Society's potential rejection of me (as well as losing my family relationships, as much as I hate them) is my biggest roadblock...and I normally procrastinate anyway, but I feel ridiculous, asking myself, why can't you just do this?

[MeghanAndrews]

I planned and planned and planned once the soul-searching was pretty much complete. Like Melan said, this was something I thought about often, but just moved on with different parts of my life and didn't pay much attention to it. I almost transition at 30 but didn't. I completely focused on my career instead. When I knew I was going to transition I set up a loose timeline. I knew that once I started, I would not stop...ever. I knew there was no "just jump in and see how it goes." I took my time and focused on therapy first to have someone probe my brain. As I thought was the case, I knew what I was doing and considered pretty much all angles.

HRT was next, knowing I wouldn't go off of them. Electrolysis four hours a weekend for 9 months followed by FFS then full time. It's been over a year now since full time and I haven't looked back. Well, I look back, but no regrets at all. I'm happy. I'll probably end up with SRS late next year, planned in my overall timeline of course.

I'm posting the timeline I used just so you can get a sense of my planning process. I left my started/completed/Estimated date of completion and notes out of here so it didn't lose it's point:

Subject                                   Started                        Completed                    Est. Date Completion                Notes

Research/Support   
Learn about my transition options         
Set up a long-term plan   
Become active in online TS community   
Join a support group   
Decide my future role in TS community, if any, & act on it   

Therapy            
Come to terms with my feelings   
Continue therapy through transition, stay grounded      
Get two SRS letters   
      
Personal relationships            
Come out to family      
Reach a compromise with my partner         
Get a divorce   
Explore possibility of relationship pre-op      
Have loving relationship with someone after SRS   
Get married after transition   

Electrolysis            
Begin Laser Hair Removal on Face         
Complete Laser Hair Removal on Face   
Begin electrolysis         
Achieve 100 hours of electrolysis      
Complete my facial electrolysis            
Begin body laser             
Complete my body/genital electrolysis prior to surgery   
         
Voice            
Improve voice though self-practice            
Improve voice through lessons            
Have completely passable voice on phone & in person
         
Legal            
Change name on Driver's License, all other financial records      
Change gender marker on government records
         
Hair            
Grow my hair longer   
Regrow some lost hair   
Get hormone levels into female range   
Evaluate hormone levels, take action if needed   
   
Face surgery            
Do thorough research on FFS (forum, boards, face-to-face, etc.)
Get full FFS (forehead, jaw, chin, trachea, nose, upper lip)   
Get breast augmentation, only if needed to be proportional
Lose weight   

Going full-time            
Go full time 24/7      
Feel comfortable with FT living
            
Employment            
Come out to business partner, ensure continued employment         
Come out to rest of employees            
Transition at current job      
   
SRS            
Have reassignment surgery (bottom) surgery


Sorry it's so long, I just figured I would get the point across that there are varying degrees of preparedness. I approached my transition like I've faced every other thing in my life: with a lot of planning, an optimistic approach that things will work out in the end and a basic belief that I am a good person and know what's right for me. That's me Meghan

[Tammy Hope]

There seems to be quite a variety in how people transition.
Some plan it to the last detail, including a "Transition Time Table".
Others just blindly forge ahead.
Which type are you?

On the one hand, I "plan" but it's more like fantasizing in some ways because a lot of it is predicated on money I don't have and have no idea where it's coming from...but I do have a time table in my head (though it's constantly shifting)

One example of that is i had pretty much told myself no homrones until the weight is gone (and i can't afford HRT now so it's academic) but the last couple of months I've REALLY been craving the day when i get to start.

Still, in terms of what I actually have DONE the last year - I just blunder out there with very little thought to downside.

[katherine]

I had a plan. Now I have another plan. The first plan went as far as counseling, which I completed.  Then I let things bring my plans to a halt.  Now I'm moving on with HRT and working on my voice.  Can't transition on my current job which I may have for up to one more year.  I only have one real obstacle to negotiate and once that is handled, I'm on to RLT and if I'm lucky SRS before I'm 58.  Life goes on...

[K8]

I tend to be methodical.  I planned, with the longer-range things indefinite because I knew there would be some adjustments. 

And then I leapt off the cliff (or that's what it felt like ). 

Things progressed a lot faster than I had supposed they would, so I've had to make lots of adjustments.  But my plan was really an outline with the timeline vague.  I've rarely felt things were getting out of hand (so far ).  So far so good.

- Kate

[Natasha]

i looked before i leaped.  i planned ahead.

[Notyetme]

I've done plenty of research but very little planning So I voted a bit of each.

I try not to plan, It seems whenever I plan something all earth, hell and heaven rise up to thwart me for my arrogant assumptions and transgressions against the universe/god/whatever.

The best laid plans of mice and men and all that

[aurora17]

Because of financial constraints (no insurance here in Japan for GID), I have to carefully plan every step.

Hair removal sessions
Hormone injections
Hormone pills orders
Hairdresser appointments (don't want to cut my hair but still have to appear clean on the job)

AND

FFS pre-consultation
FFS

AND LATER

psychiatrists (for SRS letters)
SRS pre-consultation
SRS

AND IF NEEDED LATER

LSR
Breast augmentation
etc

The only thing which doesn't cost a lot (but still needs careful planning) is dieting, which I do religiously and systematically with re-evaluation every 2-3 months.

[aubrey]

I voted a little of both because I did alot of research but once I felt satisfied that I knew enough I went full speed ahead and simply did what I needed to/could fit in my schedule/could afford. I had a little bit of an order to it at the time, but no timetables as I think when the time is right you find yourself doing what you need to. The closest to a timetable I got was "do as much as is reasonably possible as soon as possible".

I try not to plan, It seems whenever I plan something all earth, hell and heaven rise up to thwart me for my arrogant assumptions and transgressions against the universe/god/whatever.

Totally with you on that!

But I'm that way with most things....research lots, then go for it. I hate planning timetables because they never seem to work out that way. Having definite dates for things or appointments tend to give me anxiety, even like planning a vacay....ugh.

[Silver]

Compromise. Whether I like it or not, I have years to think about it before I can jump in. I'm also lucky enough to have unrestricted internet access so I am finding out what is possible, what to expect, etc..

And of course, spending some time with all of you regurgitating my thoughts all over the board whether you like it or not. Is it not the point of a support group?

As soon as I hit the age where I can do something about it though, you bet I'll be the first to leap off of that cliff, even if my therapist has me on a bungee cord.

SilverFang

[Carolyn]

Why look? Why Leap? I live in the moment. I make my own way. I don't plan ahead, because all the best laid plans will fail, and on top of that, you never know how the path with go. For all I know, I could be hit by a meteor while on my computer and be killed, or a Gama Ray Burst could hit our planet head on killing everything instantly, then again Old Yellow could erupt killing millions, and leaving many others homeless fighting just to survive. You never know what will happen.