first appointment

[Alexthecat]

On a side note .... I know Dr. Tholen in Mn. does top surgery without a letter ... he sees it as cosmetic and he doesn't require it for his other cosmetic patients.

I hadn't heard of him but one in Illinois that doesn't need a letter. I was just hoping for the letter to be able to get it done at the surgeon who is an hour away. If it fails though I might have to look at travelling but that is more expensive. 

[aleon515]

I hope you'll keep us updated. I know that sometimes people have to try a couple times. Fortunately for me I lucked out. But some people do get it better the second time around. I wish you luck.

--Jay

[Alexthecat]

My first appointment is July 18th. It will be a waiting game now. They must have a lot of clients.

My therapist.

   
Karen T. Cimini, Ph.D.

Areas of Specialization: relationship and family, sexual function and dysfunction, gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered issues, dependency and addiction, eating disorders, chronic illness and grief, coping with HIV, work and life issues


Undergraduate: University of Cincinnati, Bachelor of Science, Elementary Education, magna cum laude
Graduate: University of Akron, Masters of Science Degree, Counseling; University of Akron, Ph.D., Counseling Psychology
Adjunct Professor: Cleveland State University, John Carroll University
Member: American Psychological Association

[Arch]

I cancelled and this is what she sent me.

Wow. She really has a high opinion of herself, doesn't she? And a low opinion of you. You're well rid of her, in my opinion.

[Alexthecat]

So I had the appointment. She didn't have much experience with people in the middle. She said it would take at least 6 months of appointments no exceptions which didn't work out when I'm planning surgery for January. Though she is concerned it might just be Body dysmorphic disorder, which I looked up and it sounds like everyone has that. She said if that was the case she wouldn't write me a letter as she doesn't believe in changing the body for those reasons. She also says it's foolish for doctors to do it on informed consent basis. I could continue seeing her as it's only $20 a appointment but by January that is $240 which could be put to a plane ticket to just have the surgery in Illinois. My grandma wants me to see her so I can explain to the family why I'm having the surgery but right now I'm unsure. I don't really care about explaining to the family and a simple because it makes me more comfortable should be a good enough reason for them.

Though the highlight of yesterday was getting the car fixed and the man thought I was a 15 year old boy. Then later at the store a women thought I was a young boy also. That is with a hoodie on. Passing makes me feel good.

[Sammy]

Really, I cant comment about Your therapist because I have never met her in person and never will, but... She does remind me a bit of my first therapist (who was a guy, btw). At some point of time I realised that he already had some preconceptions about what is happening with me and what is not, besides he was quite classical psych in terms of 19-20th century psychiatric theories - from those questions he asked and tests he gave me, I almost saw Jung and Freud staring at me. He was covering my childhood issues, relationships with my mother - on which he really seemed to be fixed - and with each session we drifted away from dealing with GD. Given that each sessions cost me 70 USD and he insisted seeing me every week despite openly stating that he wont refer me to anyone, I changed my therapist after two months. Seeing that Your therapist already "knows" what is going on with You.... she might just use the sessions to get the info she wants to confirm her opinion, while disregarding any other statements. You should also be keeping an eye on who is leading the sessions - is she directing You or does she let You talk and the adapts to Your narrative.

[aleon515]

So I had the appointment. She didn't have much experience with people in the middle. She said it would take at least 6 months of appointments no exceptions which didn't work out when I'm planning surgery for January. Though she is concerned it might just be Body dysmorphic disorder, which I looked up and it sounds like everyone has that. She said if that was the case she wouldn't write me a letter as she doesn't believe in changing the body for those reasons. She also says it's foolish for doctors to do it on informed consent basis. I could continue seeing her as it's only $20 a appointment but by January that is $240 which could be put to a plane ticket to just have the surgery in Illinois. My grandma wants me to see her so I can explain to the family why I'm having the surgery but right now I'm unsure. I don't really care about explaining to the family and a simple because it makes me more comfortable should be a good enough reason for them.

Though the highlight of yesterday was getting the car fixed and the man thought I was a 15 year old boy. Then later at the store a women thought I was a young boy also. That is with a hoodie on. Passing makes me feel good.

Love when I first started passing-- might watch out though being a young guy in a hoodie though... Sad to say.
Well I don't know It doesn't sound too positive. I really wish I could bottle my therapist and send him out to guys who might need him (he might not like this though    )  Anyway, the sessions sound cheap enough (right now), but it's not everything.

I don't like: 1. 6 months no exceptions. This sounds heavy handed. Of course she'd rather have your money for six months. There are people that might not need any therapy at all. 2. Her comments on informed consent. Not her business. Sounds like she is worried it will cut into business. Because it is a DOCTOR who does it, she'd not a medical doctor.  3. Her immediate jump into BDD. Ok, well MIGHT be something to rule except. It is kind of funny isn't it that the body parts you don't like have to do with your *gender* isn't it? I doubt someoen with BDD has this. BTW, to go rule it out, it's kind of rare actually (more rare than GD).
4. Not much apparent knowledge of non-binary people. She needs to go study up. This is the 21st C.   5. Cheap isn't everything.
6. Your grandmother and your family don't have to see her.

Do you like her? Can you talk with her? Do you feel like it's all about the danged letter? TBH, I don't think I'd see her.

Where are you in Illinois? Maybe people can help you find someone decent.


--Jay

[Alexthecat]

She seems nice and everything and has been doing this for over 25 years. It is all about the letter. I'm in Ohio and the surgeon I wanted to go to requires a letter which is why I saw her. However the one in Illinois does it on informed consent basis. I think he is more expensive and then there is costs for the plane ticket and hotel for a week. It would be 6-7 hours by car ride one way and it just seems better for post op if I did an hour plane ride. I still need to talk to the surgeon and see if he accepts care-credit which will determine if I can handle the extra cost. Plus I'm kind of pissed grandma got rid of our remote control rising recliner, which I planned to sleep in while healing.

[aleon515]

Well I don't think there is anything wrong at all with doing this informed consent. I don't feel like therapy helped me "decide" to transition. I worked this out IN therapy. But if you already know this, well you are not goign to be "talked out of being male" by going to therapy. I think her comments on informed consent are irrelevant. I think your feelings re: the surgeon are just fine. It's really YOUR decision. (Might start looking on craig's list for a recliner.)

--Jay

She seems nice and everything and has been doing this for over 25 years. It is all about the letter. I'm in Ohio and the surgeon I wanted to go to requires a letter which is why I saw her. However the one in Illinois does it on informed consent basis. I think he is more expensive and then there is costs for the plane ticket and hotel for a week. It would be 6-7 hours by car ride one way and it just seems better for post op if I did an hour plane ride. I still need to talk to the surgeon and see if he accepts care-credit which will determine if I can handle the extra cost. Plus I'm kind of pissed grandma got rid of our remote control rising recliner, which I planned to sleep in while healing.