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[kyh]

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[suzifrommd]

Well I'm not the best person to get advice from, since I'm perpetually complaining about not having enough female friends, but I'll give you what I know.

* Be open with your feelings. "I had a great time", "I love talking on the phone with you" etc., are things that two guys might not say to each other, but girls would.

* Be vulnerable. Be willing to show parts of yourself you're not proud of. This isn't strictly required, but it helps break the ice. Often when it feels like there is distance, it's because people are holding back.

* Smile a lot.

* I have not noticed women talking with each other about bodily issues, periods, birth control, etc., so I don't think you'll have problems with that. If they do, you can always say you "don't get periods anymore for medical reasons". No one will pry.

But here is what I've found: Eventually I WILL have to tell them who I am. When we trust each other, and they want to know details about my life, it's hard to hide who I used to be. Of course I'm divorcing my wife, have two kids, etc., so maybe it's harder for me.

Hope this helps. Let us know how it goes.

[Cindy]

Hi kyh,

Sadly I'm a lot older! But I socialise far more with the general community rather than the trans* community. I never tell anyone I'm trans*, if people like me they like me if they don't they have missed out on knowing a fantastic person, Me!!!

Where to meet people,? social groups, hobby groups,general interest groups that have topics that interest you. I was into amateur theatre, met great friends there. The thing about social groups is that people join them to meet people. Everyone knows that so the group is open and friendly to meet people.

I wouldn't bother to say anything about your status, no one will talk about the big mole on their bum, or that one foot is a size larger than the other. Just be a normal happy open young woman and you will meet other normal happy young women and get to make friends.

Have fun, and always keep going forward.

Hugs

Cindy

[Nicole]

Well I'm not the best person to get advice from, since I'm perpetually complaining about not having enough female friends, but I'll give you what I know.

* Be open with your feelings. "I had a great time", "I love talking on the phone with you" etc., are things that two guys might not say to each other, but girls would.

* Be vulnerable. Be willing to show parts of yourself you're not proud of. This isn't strictly required, but it helps break the ice. Often when it feels like there is distance, it's because people are holding back.

* Smile a lot.

* I have not noticed women talking with each other about bodily issues, periods, birth control, etc., so I don't think you'll have problems with that. If they do, you can always say you "don't get periods anymore for medical reasons". No one will pry.

But here is what I've found: Eventually I WILL have to tell them who I am. When we trust each other, and they want to know details about my life, it's hard to hide who I used to be. Of course I'm divorcing my wife, have two kids, etc., so maybe it's harder for me.

Hope this helps. Let us know how it goes.

Out of all my friends, only 2 know about my full history, I was younger when I went full time as well.

The 2 that know, one told me this week when I was talking about a trans issue in the news, that they forgot that I was trans.
Of the rest, you just have to be yourself, don't hold back on any subject you feel you can add too.

Some of my friends talk about periods and other body issues, some talk about changing birth control as well, but thats more one on one and not in groups.

A few tips I would say helps, I have never said I don't get periods, that brings up questions, I do however keep tampons & pads in the house. I cycle my hormones even now, all these years after srs.

Be open with your feelings and emotions.

TALK

As for having kids, I just say that I can't and its a very touchy subject.

[Tristan]

Hey . What I did was just engage in girl talk with them and just be chill. Don't really ever talk about pro gay or ever pro trans stuff. In my eperiance this is the kinda stuff that tips them off.  Oh and keep an extra tampon or pad. They will ask at some point

[Jess42]

Just be yourself kyh. If you do closely bond with them or are just aquaintances, I wouldn't even bring it up. Do you have any brothers? Depending on how close you become or what you tell them about your family if something ever arises about mannerisms and so on just blame it on growing up with how ever many brothers and having no sisters. As for periods, even if I was a born in the buff female, I wouldn't even talk about the specifics. If you can't get away with that just talk about how bad the cramps are and if asked tell 'em its irregular or better yet, tell them you would rather not even discuss it, Oh yeah it's that bad.

[Ltl89]

I understand how you feel here.  I'm the same way.  I wish it were easier for me to make female friends or friends in general (I'm fairly shy).  In any event, if you are in college, there should be plenty of clubs for you to join.  Even if you aren't, there are plenty of groups or activities where you can meet other people.  Just find something that you like.  And don't feel pressured about telling anyone.  They don't need to know and it's not like a betrayal of their friendship if you keep it private.   Lastly, not all women constantly talk about their periods.  Yes, it may come up, but not always.  I don't understand why so many people worry about this one.  Not having a period is about the easiest thing to hide from others. 

[Jess42]

I understand how you feel here.  I'm the same way.  I wish it were easier for me to make female friends or friends in general (I'm fairly shy).  In any event, if you are in college, there should be plenty of clubs for you to join.  Even if you aren't, there are plenty of groups or activities where you can meet other people.  Just find something that you like.  And don't feel pressured about telling anyone.  They don't need to know and it's not like a betrayal of their friendship if you keep it private.  Lastly, not all women constantly talk about their periods.  Yes, it may come up, but not always.  I don't understand why so many people worry about this one.  Not having a period is about the easiest thing to hide from others.

Your right it very rarely comes up and more often than not it's just passing casual words like being on it, heavy or light, how bad the cramps and so on. But it is something that every genetic woman knows about and has experienced (unless for medical problems) and depending on how close you are it will come up eventually. Actually it's something I know more than enough about just from having women friends and a couple of them too shy to buy tampons for themselves so guess who used to buy them. I have never experienced PMS thankfully but do I know how to pick out tampons.