will i have to date men if i want doctors to let me transition

[Dahlia]

Wow, really? I had not expected a fellow Frisian here. We are rare as it is, especially on an American dominated forum. But awesome!

Sorry for completely going off topic. It won't happen again, I swear!

I'm from Friesland too, born in Leeuwarden....but my mother is Indonesian, my father half Jewish, half Dutch/Frisian :-)

[Horizon]

I don't think my doctor has even asked about my sexual orientation.  I can see clueless MDs asking, but most who deal with this know it's irrelevant.

[vegie271]

I find that very hard to believe. First off, gender and sexuality are two entirely separate things. So a prerequisite for being a woman is not a sexual interest in men. I believe that either the poster misunderstood or their therapist is very incompetent. There are quite a few other possible factors too.  Like my therapist basically insisted I confront my fears. I'd come in and tell her I'm scared of [blank] and she' say I'd like to see you confront [blank] before our next session. Maybe this poster said something about being scared to date men or seen as a straight woman, so the therapist CHALLENGED her to date men.

Again, all my own personal speculation. Bottom line is that no respectable, qualified gender therapist should ever tell you you have to date someone in order to be who you are... That's wrong.

I am not certain of the post she is talking about, she might want to post a link back, I have made references to the fact that when I FIRST transitioned I was required to date men, however I am now a lesbian as I have always been attracted to women. In 1987 it WAS a requirement. As far as I know in most areas it is no longer a requirement and only ignorant therapist even try.

[DrBobbi]

Hard to believe. Now, about sexuality being separate than gender identity, NONSENSE. Hormones play a part in your sexuality-not always, but...

Nobody is 100% anything, completely straight or gay. Sexuality, intensity, and other factors change over time. I started HRT as a straight gendered male, but here we are 47 days later and I find myself interested in men and women. I've heard the same from others ahead of me in the transition process.

I'd love to hear from others.

[Jamie D]

There recently was a topic on that subject - being forced by a gatekeeper into a specific sort of relationship.  I recall it, but can not locate it right this second.

I really, really don't like gatekeeping.

It often helps to cut and paste a link to the old topic.

[Tristan]

I emailed six doctors and herd back for four. They all said the SMS thing since the doctor holds some control over the persons situation they can influence them into the choice. Idk kind of what I thought could be done but it doesn't sound nice or fair

[Dahlia]

Hard to believe. Now, about sexuality being separate than gender identity, NONSENSE. Hormones play a part in your sexuality-not always, but...

Nobody is 100% anything, completely straight or gay. Sexuality, intensity, and other factors change over time. I started HRT as a straight gendered male, but here we are 47 days later and I find myself interested in men and women. I've heard the same from others ahead of me in the transition process.

I'd love to hear from others.

They've tried it during the 40's, 50's and 60's; ' to cure' gay men by administering (large) doses of testosterone. Oh, MTF too....and guess what?

It didn't change their sexual orientation/ID at all.

Sexual orientation is inborn....and this 'changing sexual orientation' by using hormones is a dangerous fairytale.
And yes, there are people who are 100% completely straight or 100% completely gay....don't deny their existence....those people have the full right to be exclusively straight or gay.

I am 100% into masculine men only. And if a masculine man turns out to be a tv/cd or even worse a pre everything TS...then poof! I'm gone, faster than the speed of light.

[vegie271]

Hard to believe. Now, about sexuality being separate than gender identity, NONSENSE. Hormones play a part in your sexuality-not always, but...

Nobody is 100% anything, completely straight or gay. Sexuality, intensity, and other factors change over time. I started HRT as a straight gendered male, but here we are 47 days later and I find myself interested in men and women. I've heard the same from others ahead of me in the transition process.

I'd love to hear from others.

I am sorry please would everyone STOP FORCING ME NOT! to be 100% lesbian I know what I am and I am a lesbian, I wish that people would let me be who am, everyone who says that it is not possible to know who I am and says that everyone it the world HAS TO BE FLUID OR CANNOT KNOW who they are or they change does not know ME OR MY LIFE! please just speak for yourself!

[Nicolette]

Funny thing about HRT and transition is that it helps deal with internalised homophobia, or in other words, allows continued adherence to heteronormalcy. There's less HRT influence than one thinks on sexuality. Cultural and peer pressures can be a powerful medicine.

[Sarah Louise]

Who you have sexual interest in should have nothing to do with getting hormones.

People grow and people change, its your decision who you are attracted to.  Don't let people pressure you either way.

[Michelle S.]

Funny thing about HRT and transition is that it helps deal with internalised homophobia, or in other words, allows continued adherence to heteronormalcy. There's less HRT influence than one thinks on sexuality. Cultural and peer pressures can be a powerful medicine.

I agree with that. Sort of going along with that thought...

I wasn't homophobic but I am bi and was at first very intolerant of my feelings. I think it was the idea of sex physically as a man with a man. It didn't feel right and the 2 times I was with a guy I didn't enjoy it because I was so conscious of myself the entire time. Since I've started HRT and begun to finally see my external self match who I am internally, I've become so much confident in my sexuality. My girlfriend and I really enjoy being able to talk openly about who we like, etc.

Ultimately I don't think it was for me personally an internalized homophobia, though. Sex with women was also very discomforting pre-HRT. Pretty much always had to close my eyes and image I was myself with her. I just really didn't like having sex as a man...

So, no I don't think it's the hormones so much as it is culturally and internally driven.

[Emily Aster]

I agree with that. Sort of going along with that thought...

I wasn't homophobic but I am bi and was at first very intolerant of my feelings. I think it was the idea of sex physically as a man with a man. It didn't feel right and the 2 times I was with a guy I didn't enjoy it because I was so conscious of myself the entire time. Since I've started HRT and begun to finally see my external self match who I am internally, I've become so much confident in my sexuality. My girlfriend and I really enjoy being able to talk openly about who we like, etc.

Ultimately I don't think it was for me personally an internalized homophobia, though. Sex with women was also very discomforting pre-HRT. Pretty much always had to close my eyes and image I was myself with her. I just really didn't like having sex as a man...

So, no I don't think it's the hormones so much as it is culturally and internally driven.

This! It's like reading about myself.