HELP!

[FreshGuy]

Help, I need to accept myself but I'm not ready for therapy. Any tips or advice from anyone???

[kelly_aus]

I know you said you weren't ready for therapy, but I found I needed to see a therapist in order to find self acceptance..

[FTMDiaries]

Have you watched any trans* videos on YouTube? Sometimes, seeing other people describe similar experiences can help you consolidate your thoughts about yourself.

There was a brilliant interview with Rocky Horror creator Richard O'Brien, in which he* describes what it was like for him to come to terms with being trans. I'll try to post the link later.


* Whilst Richard identifies as a transwoman, he still uses male pronouns.

[Beth Andrea]

Help, I need to accept myself but I'm not ready for therapy. Any tips or advice from anyone???

We have to know what you mean by "need to accept yourself." What is it about being transgender or transsexual that is difficult for you?

[FreshGuy]

We have to know what you mean by "need to accept yourself." What is it about being transgender or transsexual that is difficult for you?

I'm just having difficulties accepting the fact that I'm transsexual and I might have to have a transition and stuff but I am starting to get used to the fact.

Learning that I have a choice in whether I want to transition and stuff is useful cos before I thought I had no choice but then again transsexualism isn't a choice so free will is questionable.

[dreaming.forever]

I'm just having difficulties accepting the fact that I'm transsexual and I might have to have a transition and stuff but I am starting to get used to the fact.

Learning that I have a choice in whether I want to transition and stuff is useful cos before I thought I had no choice but then again transsexualism isn't a choice so free will is questionable.

Thinking about the entire transition all at once can be overwhelming at first. So it might help if you just think about what small changes you can make now to get used to it a little bit (you could paint your nails, or do some other little thing that makes you feel more feminine). If you try small things like that, your anxiety over it might lessen since it could make you feel more like yourself. I'm a FTM transguy so, I'm on the opposite side of things, and when I started wearing cologne for the first time, it really boosted my confidence just because it felt so right compared to trying to live as a "girl."

Also, I'll point out that you do have free will. If transition is too much for you and you decide not to do it, you could still find other ways of expressing your femininity without jeopardizing things. And although some trans people lose their family or other aspects of their life change, the benefits of transitioning usually outweigh those negatives. Personally, I have lost a lot from choosing to transition, but what I've gained from it has been incredibly more valuable to me, even though I'm still far from being fully transitioned.

As for accepting yourself, well, that takes time, but it is achievable. I would suggest starting by not thinking of being trans as a bad thing, but just as another thing that makes you a unique individual. Self-acceptance is a personal thing, so I don't really have any other advice on it, since what works for me won't necessarily work for you. But in the end, you'll find it.

Whatever you choose to do, you can PM me if you want support. And I know there's lots of other people on this site who'd be happy to talk to you whenever.

[FTMDiaries]

OK, as promised, here's the link to that Richard O'Brien interview.

Trigger warning: he describes how uncomfortable it was for him growing up trans* in an unaccepting society, which could easily trigger strong feelings in those of us who have had similar experiences. He certainly made me cry. But he's utterly fascinating and it's definitely worth watching the entire interview.

He starts off by explaining how he came up with Rocky Horror, but his thoughts on being trans* start around the 5 minute mark. This is the first of 5 videos of this interview; it's worth watching all of them if you find his words inspirational.



If you get on OK with this one, make sure you watch part 2 (there's a link near the end of part 1) where he describes how he had to spend years living in his own head because he was forced to wear a facade. And in part 3, there's a fantastic song about self-acceptance around the 4 minute mark... and a change of clothes just before the 8-minute mark.

[FreshGuy]

OK, as promised, here's the link to that Richard O'Brien interview.

Trigger warning: he describes how uncomfortable it was for him growing up trans* in an unaccepting society, which could easily trigger strong feelings in those of us who have had similar experiences. He certainly made me cry. But he's utterly fascinating and it's definitely worth watching the entire interview.

He starts off by explaining how he came up with Rocky Horror, but his thoughts on being trans* start around the 5 minute mark. This is the first of 5 videos of this interview; it's worth watching all of them if you find his words inspirational.



If you get on OK with this one, make sure you watch part 2 (there's a link near the end of part 1) where he describes how he had to spend years living in his own head because he was forced to wear a facade. And in part 3, there's a fantastic song about self-acceptance around the 4 minute mark... and a change of clothes just before the 8-minute mark.

Thanks, yeah he seems like a cool person. I find ith ard to relate to him though cos of the whole "knowing when you're 6" thing but it was interesting nonetheless. Thanks for sharing