Getting looked down on for getting in a fight with a girl

[Elsa.G]

So a few nights agoI went to visit an aunt with whom i still have a relationship with, her husband on the other hand is a different story >_> anyway this aunt has a daughter with who i have a so so relationship with, she doesn't look down on me but she also doesn't seem too comfortable with me around. So we were all drinking and her daughter got drunk, i on the other hand was just a little buzzed i didnt drink too much- but her daughter wanted to get in her car and go home, to stop her from driving drunk i tried to grab her keys but she grabbed them and we had a little tug of war as i was trying to get her keys away from her- during this tug of war she pulled a bit too hard and fell backward and hurt herself, when her father walked in he assumed i pushed her because he happened to walk in at the wrong time while we were arguing, so he became very verbally abusive to me and told me that "a man should never lay his hands on a woman!!" well this hurt obviously so i grabbed my things and left, but the problem is that now he went around telling other people that i was a "woman beater" and that i was shoving his daughter- now this is a problem because i live in small town Tennessee and people here are not so informed about trans issues. He threatened to press charges on me, but luckily his daughter was kind enough to explain to him what really happened, but now the damage is done and people think im this woman beater and of course since im still a man in their eyes, this presents a problem.  I have been so depressed these past couple of days not only because of people's words but to know that most people will never acknowledge my place a a female, now will i ever be seen as a woman to a lot of society- sure what matters is how one feels but to me its important to live freely as a female in society but i will always carry this stigma around. Moving is not a option at the moment, but anyway just needed a place to vent.

[barbie]

Sometimes our life does not go the way we expected. The sun shines after rainy days. If you can not move, then make people change for you, or wait until they change.

barbie~~

[Tristan]

I'm sorry girl. That's a situation we have to deal with when it comes to people who know our status. It really sucks but you have to find a way to deal with them. Personally I like preying of the fact that I'm not strong just like any other girl. Or crying to build up sympathy. It's a very dangerous thing to fight with another girl though. Always remember they love to manipulate other people, mainly men and they will exercise there ability to get them to attack you should they feel threatened by you or that your hurting them. So whatever you do all I'm saying is put thought into it.

[Alainaluvsu]

Living in a small town of Tennessee must be totally difficult. Moving should be one of your top most priorities if at all possible. Where I'm at, cops look at different things like who is calmer, if you have a house that's kept up, who is obviously bigger, and who threw the first punch.

I got in a fight with a girl where the cops showed up and she was laid out on my floor. I hit her one time after she beat me up all up and down the street, followed me back in my house, and tried to start the stuff in there too. I hit her once and floored her (partly a lucky shot, partly because I caught her with a wrist bone to the temple while she was drunk). The cops showed up and talked to us, I was calm while she was belligerent. She even outed me to the cop and shouted at him "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE GOING TO LET THIS MAN HIT ME LIKE THIS! LOOK AT MY EYE!!!" The cop wrote us both a summons for disturbing the peace and when handing my license back, got my number on the side. We discussed the issue privately and he didn't take me to jail because 1: my house was nicely kept up, 2: she was drunk and acting a fool, while I was completely calm, 3: I told the truth and he's trained to see who instigates situations and escalates them, and who is being manipulative, 4: she is obviously bigger than me.

Furthermore, he didn't even turn in the summons because she's from out of town and he didn't want to issue us anything anyways, she just did it to shut her up because all she wanted to do was get me in trouble. Moral of the story: cops are onto women who try to manipulate them.

[mintra]

Living in a small town of Tennessee must be totally difficult. Moving should be one of your top most priorities if at all possible.

I agree with Alaina on this. I planned to move since the beginning of this year and when my lease is up I'll move. I love this town but I know I'll be happier in West Coast.

[Beth Andrea]

he assumed i pushed her because he happened to walk in at the wrong time while we were arguing, so he became very verbally abusive to me and told me that "a man should never lay his hands on a woman!!" well this hurt obviously so i grabbed my things and left, but the problem is that now he went around telling other people that i was a "woman beater" and that i was shoving his daughter- now this is a problem because i live in small town Tennessee and people here are not so informed about trans issues. He threatened to press charges on me, but luckily his daughter was kind enough to explain to him what really happened, but now the damage is done and people think im this woman beater and of course since im still a man in their eyes, this presents a problem.

I'd tell this Tennessee "man" to go around town with me, and everyone he told I was a woman beater he has to tell them HE WAS WRONG. Also, he is WRONG for saying you're a man, you are transitioning your body to be female, and you wish to be treated like a Tennessee lady should be treated.

I put "man" in quotes because I doubt he will correct his failures. If he does, by all means I'll apologize...but I'm not gonna hold my breath.

[Queen B]

I'm also a small town Tennessean, only 4 of my closest relatives know about me.

Coming out to my extended conservative Christian family will be a blast, I'm so looking forward to it. /sarcasm

[Chloe]

LOL Overall women are more cruel, abusive and violent than men any day but, especially in the eyes of cops, men are more sturdy and just supposed to PUT UP WITH IT while cis females claim their 'victim' status. I think it was foolish of you to try and take keys away from cousin (?), really wasn't your place and, of course . . .

Every Good Deed is not without it's punishment. 

I have learned *the hard way also* the best Offense is to just Stay Away from Them !!!

( ps: my lesbian lawyer, having done little for kids and I, on parting gave the same advice "why do you stay? Move away from here"      )

[E-Brennan]

Elsa.G, my only comment is to thank you for doing the right thing and stopping someone who was drunk from getting behind the wheel.  Sorry it turned into such a messy situation, but you may have saved her life or the life of someone else that night.