These are the introspective questions and answers that I have asked myself recently:-
So what changed in your life that you decided to take action after so many years of inaction? The day I found out that a Transgender person was not necessarily gay and that there were others that had the same issues as me.
How did this realization occur? I met a transgender lady and she became a friend and explained her life story. The revelation was like lightning struck and I knew what I was - that was 10 years ago. Since then I have been researching and analyzing the options and a solution. I knew one thing and that was I did not want to lie on my deathbed as a man.
So what actions have you taken? I have taken a step which includes regular therapist sessions (18 months) to reaffirm my conviction, seeing SRS and FFS surgeons, looking at Forums and now I'm on HRT. I continue to be confident and happy and know what lies ahead will be an adventure of a lifetime.
What bother me? We all face society's scrutiny and possible ridicule but I'm sure that physically with some cosmetic operations that I will pass as a female in society. Also, luckily, I'm financially very strong and that works wonders with the family's acceptance. I have faced the fact that I may move to a new community.
What else bother you? I have been following forums on TG regularly, and have noticed one constant thread and that is the despair, depression amongst so many of my sisters. This saddens me and makes me question why I don't face these problems.
Can you do anything to help these sisters? I have difficulty relating to the despair, depression; I just never had them. I feel that some of my positive comments may upset them. I know I will set up a financial assistance fund to help my sisters but not until I gone thru passing and aware of more of the issues.
Are there any other issues? Yes, my age and the years of play acting as a hard core male and having to peel off each layer. So many years of acting like a male.
Are you still confident and happy since starting HRT? Most definitely, peeling off all those fake layers and finally seeing with a new perspective –one that I should have had. It's been awesome.
Finally, any regrets? Yes, I was a male without empathy and I have hurt so many women in my life. But I plan to make it up to them.
"May we each find out own path to happiness, peace and fufillment."
Mahalo my sisters
