How do you deal with Depression?

[SkyCakeLight]

Hey! So, I was just wondering;  How do you deal with Depression? As the title suggest.

I wonder because I seem unable to deal with it now. I used to be known as a happy and loving person. But! After joining the Marine Corps, things have went so far downhill I don't even know who I am anymore. So, the next part will be kind of a rant. But! I mainly want to know how you deal with depression!

I'm a Marine, 21 years old as of April this year. I want to transitioned into a female so bad! But, I kind of got myself stuck for now. The USMC (United States Marine Corps) wouldn't allow it. So, in order to avoid discrimination, I act as much like a guy as I can. I fire the rifle (expert), I run the PFT/CFT (1st class), and excel in martial arts (MCMAP). But, it isn't me! Three years in the USMC, I've grown distance with that happy person I used to be. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm stuck in this lifestyle/body. And, have to put on a show everyday. I can't cry like I want to. I can't do my make-up. I can't wear my heels. I just sit and sulk. Music is normally my release, but I can't even do that anymore. I mostly listen to depressing stuff, making it worse. When I try to write music, my chords are solemn, and my lyrics waver in an ever growing wave of depression. I sing of destruction, death, pain, and sadness. I'm a shell of human, if that. My dreams of a happy lifestyle have changed. I dream of the day when I can get out of the USMC and begin cutting myself again. I'm extremes, I'm nothing. The only thing that hasn't changed too much is how much I care about people. But now, I only hope that I die soon and my organs go to people that need them.

Some Lyrics:
Everything that you loved is falling down... and everyone that you thought you knew is letting you drown...

I'll sing til you burn... your heart starts to bleed... your hope begins to fall, as your hope starts to leave...

What should I do? I'd much rather just jump off the 4th story of this building. But, I haven't yet. For some reason, I don't know. Hopefully soon, I'll gather the strength to jump.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Sky,

There are local 0800 helplines you can call...I'm sure some US members will be along soon to assist...

Meanwhile check out this link ...

http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

also this

http://www.depression.org.nz/?gclid=CJKNq4r7-7cCFchfpgodcBAApA

Hang in there...


Metta Zenda

[Jess42]

I don't know how long you signed up for but I do know how hard it is. The thing that helped me the most was saying over and over, "It's only for a little while and then I'll be free to do whatever". I know it's easier said than done though.

As for the depression, keep in mind that you won't be stuck in this same situation forever. Start making plans in your head now like looking into therapists, how you'll come out to friends and family if you go that route, where you may like to live and so on. This will give you a little hope and something to look forward to through the dark times. Keep your mind busy and try to consider this time as a preparing phase. And definately if you get to the point of suicide seek professional help please.

[Chamillion]

That's a very difficult situation to be in, I can't even imagine what you're going through. Seeing the title, I was ready to post some stuff I do to get out of depression but these are things I do now when I'm already comfortable with myself..

I wish I could help more. But if you're feeling suicidal, please seek professional help. There are people who can help you, and suicide hotlines if you need someone to listen. All of us here on this site will listen as well and many have been through similar things, you aren't alone. The best thing now, I think, is what Jess42 said: knowing it's not forever. Just know you'll be out of it in time, and when you're done, you'll have the knowledge that you survived and be stronger for it.

[barbie]

Hey! So, I was just wondering;  How do you deal with Depression? As the title suggest.

At present, the only effective solution is medication. You have better consult with a psychiatrist to know whether your symptoms are indeed from depression. Depression can not be easily overcome by your will.

barbie~~

[CalmRage]

Hey! So, I was just wondering;  How do you deal with Depression? As the title suggest.

I wonder because I seem unable to deal with it now. I used to be known as a happy and loving person. But! After joining the Marine Corps, things have went so far downhill I don't even know who I am anymore. So, the next part will be kind of a rant. But! I mainly want to know how you deal with depression!

I'm a Marine, 21 years old as of April this year. I want to transitioned into a female so bad! But, I kind of got myself stuck for now. The USMC (United States Marine Corps) wouldn't allow it. So, in order to avoid discrimination, I act as much like a guy as I can. I fire the rifle (expert), I run the PFT/CFT (1st class), and excel in martial arts (MCMAP). But, it isn't me! Three years in the USMC, I've grown distance with that happy person I used to be. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm stuck in this lifestyle/body. And, have to put on a show everyday. I can't cry like I want to. I can't do my make-up. I can't wear my heels. I just sit and sulk. Music is normally my release, but I can't even do that anymore. I mostly listen to depressing stuff, making it worse. When I try to write music, my chords are solemn, and my lyrics waver in an ever growing wave of depression. I sing of destruction, death, pain, and sadness. I'm a shell of human, if that. My dreams of a happy lifestyle have changed. I dream of the day when I can get out of the USMC and begin cutting myself again. I'm extremes, I'm nothing. The only thing that hasn't changed too much is how much I care about people. But now, I only hope that I die soon and my organs go to people that need them.

Some Lyrics:
Everything that you loved is falling down... and everyone that you thought you knew is letting you drown...

I'll sing til you burn... your heart starts to bleed... your hope begins to fall, as your hope starts to leave...

What should I do? I'd much rather just jump off the 4th story of this building. But, I haven't yet. For some reason, I don't know. Hopefully soon, I'll gather the strength to jump.

I was thinking the same recently. I cannot do it however. Absolutely not. Here's one lyric to cheer you up:

(I always crack up at some point singing along)

I stood under your bedroom window
Throwing up a brick
No-one came I threw one more
That really did the trick
Your daddy came and banged my head
He said what kind of man
Is this that's hanging round my girl
And threw me in the can
You're a farmer's daughter
You're a farmer's daughter
Why do I always get
The kinda girl I didn't oughta get
I won't get no more eggs and water
Now I've laid the farmer's daughter

Imagine I was a full grown man
And I could talk just right
Could I come and see you here
And do this every night
Wham! the door comes crashing down
Your daddy's face all pale
Says come with me you hairy bum
I'll put you in my jail
You're a judge's daughter
You're a judge's daughter
Why do I always get
The kinda girl I didn't oughta get
Now I'm getting jail and torture
Cos' I made the judge's daughter

It seems they're screaming law and order
When I go with anyone's daughter

Woman I should like some peace
And daddy hold your tongue
I think you're gonna die of fright
When I tell you what I've done
I can hear your tales and lies
You say I'm dumb and scraggy
But man this dumb and scraggy is
Your daughter's baby's daddy
She's a lucky daughter
Such a lucky daughter
Why did I always get
The kinda girl I didn't wanna get
Now I've got what I always fought for
Cos I've married a rich man's daughter

[Jess42]

SkyCakeLight. If you're in the Marines, one thing that I forgot to tell you is that if you are stationed overseas just emerse yourself in the culture. This helped me tremendously to take my my mind off of the time I had left. The constant learning new customs, meeting totally different people with totally different backgrounds, learning the language and everything else took my mind off of things.

[Edge]

This is what works for me, but might not work for others.
-Keep going. Wait it out. Put it off for another day.
-Think about who I want to be.
-Never surrender! Nothing can defeat me! Muahaha! This world is MINE.

[Tristan]

Meds, playing, bike riding , paint ball, volleyball . Those are all my healthy ways

[Emily Aster]

You lasted a lot longer than I did. Parris Island did me in as far as deciding I couldn't live that lifestyle. I'm guessing you're only on a 4 years enlistment? I'd say find something, anything, that you enjoy that will take the focus off of it and spend as much time as humanly possible doing it. Gaming did it for me for years. I'd blink and the entire day would be gone. Although even that doesn't do it for me anymore. The anxiety over not transitioning is killing me.