coming out. to whom and when

[Mary81]

Hello everyone,
Just curious, at what point in your transition did you decide to tell people  who did you come out to first?
I am in the pre-HRT therapy stage. I haven't been approved to do anything yet, so I am a bit hesitant to say anything to anyone. That said, I am feeling pretty guilty/anxious about it and would like to have it over with.
M

[Michelle S.]

My order (I started HRT 9 months ago)

girlfriend: 6 years ago; took her awhile to deal with it... years. She was finally fine with my transitioning about 10 months ago.

Mom: ~ year ago. At the time I trusted her and felt like I could talk to her about my feelings and transition.

Boss' wife: 10 months ago; I wanted to see how she thought her husband would react.

Boss: 6 months ago; I work for a small company and he's like a good friend. Thought I'd see how he handled before I told the guy who owns the business.

Sister: 6 months ago; see mom...

Final boss/company (lol): 4 months ago; I didn't come out, apparently my boss and his wife thought they would just blurt it out to everyone at diner one night... a diner I wasn't even at... Was pretty mad but my boss felt he needed to tell them. Thinking back it was really good timing. That's the point in HRT where I stopped really passing well as male.

Dad: 3 months ago; he was the person I was most terrified of coming out to but he was moving down to Florida and I was full-time at that point. He took it really well.

Friends/family (facebook): 3 months ago; I was sick of seeing my facebook in "guy mode" and was inspired by a transfriend to just tell everyone. Considering my girlfriend's family is super Southern Baptist conservative, I thought that was going to lead to them disowning her and me. It actually went really well too.

Once you start coming out to people it becomes addictive and once it's over with it is so relieving. It's like having the biggest weight lifted off you chest 🙂

[Tristan]

I was told I came out to my mom at 8, well got caught and then she told my dad and siblings less than a hour later

[Ltl89]

It differs for everyone, but here is my hectic time frame

Started Hrt on June 13th of this year.

Told my best friends years ago.  If memory serves 4 or 5 years back.

I told my mom 4 days ago.  I was on hrt for a week.

I told one of my sisters the same day as my mom.

I told my other sister two days before starting hrt.

This is my list for now, besides support groups, online forums, and medical professionals.  As I am still in the beginning of things, I have some more coming out to do in time.  But I hope my short list was somewhat helpful. 

[Emily Aster]

Told my mother about 13 years ago when I got kicked out of the military for it.
Told her again about 5 years ago when it seemed unbearable to contain it.
Told two friends about 6 months ago.

Haven't told anybody else since because my therapist recommended I ate least try to spend a couple weeks as a woman first instead of the occasional days I've been doing. I also came to the conclusion that those that need to know should be told right before it happens and those that don't can figure it out. And those that need to know are friends and work. Family is about as far from being friends as is possible for me, so they can learn to deal at the last minute.