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should I do something about this?

Started by KaylaP, July 17, 2013, 08:31:25 AM

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KaylaP

I had a small incident at work 3 nights ago...

Guy one: so do you think he's hot
Guy two: yea
Guy one: I was hoping you would say no.
Guy two: I don't care, he is hot I would take him in the back, you know what I mean.

I walked out of hearing range at that point but a little while later I walked past them.

Guy one: Oh >-bleeped-<, I think he heard us.(really didn't think I acted different or anything.)
Guy two(loudy talking to me as I walked away): Bitch I don't care if you heard.

I just kept doing my job.

Later, I asked another employee if she heard any of what they said, she didn't.

I didn't really think it bugged me but at lunch I went home and couldn't stop crying so I called in the rest of the night.  I haven't missed a day or gone home early from work at all in the last 3 years

I don't work with these guys but we work around each other for about 4 hours 2 or 3 nights a week.  night before last Guy two was constantly staring at me.

should I just keep ignoring it?  that is the advice I got from my sister but, it does bug me that he was staring at me so openly the day after.

I present as male at work, female everywhere else.
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Jess42

Me personally, I would look at the first part of the conversation as a compliment.

Guy two: "Bitch, I don't care if you heard." I would definately be offended and probably would have said something. Even if he does like you being called a bitch is uncalled for.

Should you keep ignoring it? That is a hard question to answer and depends upon whether your employers know about you being trans, what kind of transgender discrimination policies they have implemented and what their personal views on transgenders are.

I would talk to the guy and let him know that the name he called me really ticked me off. That the staring is kinda' creepy and ask him what he hopes to achieve by it. Like I said the first part just sounds like "guy" talk, The second part is really offensive and I would personally call him on it without the company involved first. If things go bad or keep going downhill then get the company involved.
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KaylaP

I haven't come out at work, was someone else who was trans a six year employee was fired for an 'unrelated' reason 2 weeks after coming out.
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Jess42

I definately would not get the company involved in that case. Even with transfriendly policies in place any company can find a number of reasons to get rid of you.

You can always look on the brightside. Someone does think you're a hot. No matter how creepy they are in showing it.
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Sara Thomas

Regardless of whether your work is transfriendly, I'm pretty certain that harassment is against the law in every corner of the United States - and it sounds like harassment.

I'd sic HR on them... from the sound of it, neither the company, nor offending parties, have much to lose.
I ain't scared... I just don't want to mess up my hair.
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