Life After Transition

[Kate G]

This story has special significance for me and I am wondering aloud to others who have physically transitioned if it means the same thing to them also.

The map is not the territory... ( by Ven Sochu)

One of the most famous parables told by the Buddha is the Parable of the Raft. In this he likened his teachings to a raft for crossing a fast-flowing river.

The parable narrates how a man is trapped on one side of a river. On this side, there is great danger and uncertainty and on the far side of the river is safety. However there is no bridge spanning the river nor is there a ferry to cross over. What to do? The man gathers together logs, leaves, and creepers and by his wit fashions a raft from these materials. By lying on the raft and using his hands and feet as paddles he manages to cross the river from the dangerous side to the side of safety.

The Buddha then asks the listeners a question. What would you think if the man, having crossed over the river thought to himself – That raft has served me well I will carry it on my back over the land now? The monks replied that it would not be a very sensible idea to cling to the raft in such a way. The Buddha went on – What if he lay the raft down gratefully thinking that this raft has served him well but is no longer of use and can thus be laid down upon the shore? The monks replied that this would be the proper attitude. The Buddha concluded by saying – So it is with my teachings which are like a raft and are for crossing over with not for seizing hold of.

This parable marks the attitude taken to the teachings given by the Buddha, firstly that their prime objective is to be of practical use and secondly to introduce the teaching of the Two Truths. The ultimate Truth or Reality cannot be described by words and concepts and must be seen for oneself. However the path that leads to that insight can be described and forms a map to show how to get there. This truth is relative because it only describes the way to this Truth it is not the Truth itself nor is it the path itself. The Buddhist practitioner must walk this path; it is not enough just to read about it or even to believe that it works!

Thus we must always bear in mind that the teachings, even the story of the Life of the Buddha are only descriptions, symbols pointing to something beyond the words and neither must they be taken as scientific fact or even historical truths.

This is why it is futile to become bogged down in ontological or epistemological arguments over these teachings. The value of them is realised when they are used in the way they were designed to be used as a practical tool leading toward insight into the human condition.
http://www.thebuddhistsociety.org/resources/previous_stories/Map.htm

I feel like for me transition is the raft. 

[Beth Andrea]

...

I feel like for me transition is the raft.

Transition is like logs, leaves, and creepers?


















Yes, of course. (I'm pre-op). Once transition is done...there's no need to focus on the process as much as before. Unless, one means to help others with their transition...just as if the man in the parable stayed close to the shore, and instructed others in the building and operation of the raft.

Perhaps, if he were skilled, he might build an actual ferry (and perhaps a rope to pull it from shore to shore), in his efforts for the others still on the dangerous side.

[calico]

I see and understand, the raft is the transition, the dangerous side is the former person or old, the safe is the new and happy, while the river is life,  😉 I get it and life is indeed like a river, its always flowing sometimes there are rapids (tough spots) other times there are calm streams but nether the rest a river that is ever flowing just like time. Kinda deep, just like the waters at times 😉

[anjaq]

Nice parable indeed. It is great if it works and that certainly should be the goal. To not leave the raft behind but stay with it to help others is admirable but it also means that you cannot enter the land on the other side fully. You are always at the shore and maybe at some point start to think tha tthis is all there is, maybe even think that this is not really what you thought it would be? The other way is as in the stroy to leave it behind and enter the forest or land on the other side. My personal path in that story would be that I went into the forest, but the memory of the raft and the river stayed with me. I got some wet feet still from being on the raft which was made in a rush from what was available so it was not that great. Others living in the land on the other side occasionally pointed at the wet feet and at times I was thinking of the river which was a strong, wild and powerful thing unlike the more busy but relatively calm and ordered path on this land. I think i also kept for some reasons parts of the raft or pieces of the other land with me - maybe from nostalgia, maybe because I did not know where to leave them. So I decided to take a visit to the shore again and see what draws me to it - maybe some practical issues, like sitting on the shore and let my feet dry what I did not do before in all the rush, maybe soak up some of the energy of the river, maybe look at others crossing the river, helping them out a bit while sitting calmly on this side. Of course my raft was very individual, as is everyones, the flow of the river has changed since I was here last time, so in some ways my description of the river and the float will not help others at all actually. Maybe I am just telling old stories. Maybe throwing some bits and pieces that I carried around with me into the river (I hope I dont hit anyone floating there with them - in fact I will try now that I have this parable to really avoid that). I dont know. Eventually I will leave the shore again and wander off. Hopefully without too much stuff to carry around. But I know the shore well, I saw it in the distance for a long time, I spent a lot of time looking at it - so in a way it is a place that is always there to go to if one desires to - the good thing is that there is not really the need to be there anymore.

I hope I have not overstretched the parable now

Greetings

[Northern Jane]

Interesting story.

I would see the river as transition and the raft as those people who helped us make it from one side to the other. Those people, even in their comfort where they were, recognized that WE needed to be on the other side and were willing to help. There weren't a lot of them but just enough to provide the things we needed to cross the river.

Of course 40 years ago it was expected that we would leave all of that behind once we crossed and we did. Most of us went on and never looked back. We were where we needed to be and our success encouraged those who helped us to continue helping others.

Sometimes a few of us, VERY few it seems, venture back to the river to encourage others and to lend what support we can but most don't. I don't fault them for that because the river bank was NOT the intended destination. Going back brings pain and memories that are better forgotten.

[anjaq]

Hi Jane. Interesitng interpretation, but the raft in the story is something that has to be left behind. It also is a passive thing. Friends and other people helping in transitioning are alive and they are very much active. And to leave them behind would be a bad thing - so the story then would teach us to leave the friends behind who helped us. I think this is not needed. Some people yes - I dont need to see the surgeons or therapists again, some of the TS folks not as well, but some friends I really do not want to leave behind just so I can get away from the shore. But maybe even that is true to some degree. I know some people from transition time that I still meet regularly - and honestly I always feel "closer to the shore" when I am with them. I remember the times and I know they knew me in that weird state while crossing the river.

Its weird - that river shore at the same time brings pain indeed, but also some sort of familiarity and calm. Mostly because one can stand with the feet firmly on the ground and does not have to get onto one of these rafts again really. Water is also purifying , so it can actually wash away some of the things we kept carrying with us if we are willing to throw them in.

[Beth Andrea]

I would add there is no "right" or "wrong" path (stay on the shore, or go all in)...one must do what is right for him/herself, and not listen too much to "the expectations of others."

Peace.

[anjaq]

Sure it is not wrong - there is no wrong path. Just some that are harder or easier, some that make it harder to go another path later and some that make you feel good or safe and those that make you sad or even threaten you. They are not wrong, but they are different experiences one can have and to some degree choose.

[suzifrommd]

I feel like the slow kid in class.

I don't get it.

What does it mean to lay our transition by the riverside?

I mean, once we're done transitioning, we're no longer transitioning. What would be the metaphorical equivalent of carrying one's transition on one's back?

[Beth Andrea]

I feel like the slow kid in class.

I don't get it.

What does it mean to lay our transition by the riverside?

I mean, once we're done transitioning, we're no longer transitioning. What would be the metaphorical equivalent of carrying one's transition on one's back?

Dwelling on the "what ifs", the "I should've /shouldn't have done this/gone to that dr", wishing the ex had accepted it, etc.

If one stays by the edge, it should be to help others if possible (since most of transition is within a person, and within their life), not to relive transition process again.

[suzifrommd]

Dwelling on the "what ifs", the "I should've /shouldn't have done this/gone to that dr", wishing the ex had accepted it, etc.

If one stays by the edge, it should be to help others if possible (since most of transition is within a person, and within their life), not to relive transition process again.

Ah. Thank you. Probably not an issue for me, but I agree it's good advice.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Kate,

The raft I used might be long gone, but I still remember how it was built and on the odd occasion (should the need arise) help others to build theirs...

Metta Zenda 🙂