I wasn't born in the wrong body

[Obfuskatie]

I'd love agree with your position and feel similarly, however it'd be nice if I wasn't more than 3 times as likely to be assaulted than a cis woman according to the current statistics in the violence reports I've looked at for MTF individuals in the LGBT community.  It's another reason why stealth transition is safer in my opinion, just harder to cope with when you have the conflicting desire to reject your disguise.  Also, I love kids, and I really wish I could have had my own as a woman.

Granted, I didn't fit the guy-mold well in our culture, and you make some valid points.  But most of the other 3rd-sexes in other cultures were MTFs aren't they?  I don't remember any FTMs from the documentaries I've watched.  It also seemed to me that many of them were subjected to an underclass status, while in the U.S. people are regionally transphobic at a greater or lesser degree but we can live lives that aren't rigidly structured for others entertainment or to attend to unfulfilled familial duties (as the fafafini do both).  It might not be viewed as shameful by some cultures, but I don't know of a culture that readily accepts FTM and MTF individuals as equals.

I was born in my body.  If I could have altered a chromosome en utero I would have, but alas my Tardis is broken.
Maybe a few years from now, after getting SRS I might have a different answer.

[BunnyBee]

Being born in the wrong body actually does sum up how I feel about myself very well.  I do fit into the binary pretty well though, so that could by why?  I get that not everybody does fit neatly into the gender social norms society has set, and that this phrase leaves them out and I can see how it could make them feel lesser if it was just a blanket phrase that the rest of the world used for trans people.  And I also agree with you that most of the social gender conventions we have come from the patriarchal society most cultures exist under.

Also, you are handsome

[Jess42]

I agree. We should take other gender possibilities and considerations into account. If I want to walk down the street in a miniskirt and sporting a ZZ Top beard it should be OK. I should only be rediculed if I also wasn't wearing cheap sunglasses.

BTW, I agree with the others, you be lookin' good.

[PepperedIssy]

I like anything like this, but plenty of others have already stated what I was thinking on certain things, so EHH~ I'll leave them to it. Personally, I wouldn't say entirely I am in the 'wrong body' per say, but it does easily enough describe me, how I feel, that I don't care about using it. I don't believe I'm a mistake, but it goes far deeper than that, and it's therefore a little harder to say, but 'wrong body' still works, it's just not a mistake that I am as I am. 

Also, as others have said, you're pretty hot. So woo, congratulations! I am sure plenty of boys and girls want a piece of that. 

[Makalii]

Fantastic Video!! I think what you're saying very accurately describes the way a lot of transgendered people feel. For a while I was very worried that I wouldn't be believed as transexual because I never felt "born in the wrong body." This video was very helpful. Thanks. ^_^ You are a very smart guy.

[dreaming.forever]

Made this video to explain how I feel about the phrase, "born in the wrong body." I'm curious to think what others think.

Interesting video. I think if I was in an accepting culture, I would feel less dysphoric. I would maybe not even get top surgery--it's not so much that I hate my chest as it is that I hate that people see my chest and automatically think "girl/woman," when that's not what I am at all.

But then, there would still be the issue of attraction--that is, what gay guy would want to be with me if I never got top surgery? I know that some pre-op transguys have boyfriends but I think I'd probably still feel inadequate/insecure if I didn't get top surgery.

So either way, I don't think I would change my actual transition plans, it would just be easier since people wouldn't look at me and think, "Wait... is that a girl or a guy?" And I could probably go out in public without practically having a panic attack (some days I'm fine, but lately I just have excessive anxiety about it).

[Barbara Ella]

Great topic and discussions.  It does come down to decisions.  Am I in the wrong body, or do I have the wrong mind.  Which one predominates and is given control over the other in our internal discussions.  This a balancing question, and so highly dependent on the individual.  Same problem, different feelings toward what is considered the best solution.

I don't hate my body, and I would be so comfortable with a new brain dropped into it.  Also, I would be just as comfortable with a new body draped around my current mind.  What I really hate is the position i live in from day to day, not the components.  Doesn't make for pleasant internal conversations during my days, but that is me.

Barbara

[aleon515]

It's funny, though, I keep coming back to it as an explanation. If you have to explain the whole darn thing it's just hard.


-Jay

[Simon]

I dunno, I really thought about this and it seems to go back to the "identity vs medical condition" debate. Everyone has a different perspective and mine is that I was born in the wrong body. I've always wanted to be seen as male outside because that has always been how I viewed myself. I have always wanted a penis, flat chest, beard, etc. It wasn't that I felt uncomfortable being viewed as a masculine or "butch" female at one time by society because of outside influences. I was uncomfortable with that because it was a misrepresentation of who I was.

I may be in the minority but I've never really cared what people thought about me. I'm not talking about being bullied or anything, of course that is bothersome. What I'm talking about is more like I have never lived my life in a certain way to please others. You mentioned that if you weren't worried so much about how a straight girl would view your body you might not have medically transitioned as far as you have. For me it's never been about what anyone thought. All of this has been about how I view myself. Again, everyone's mileage may vary on this but the medical condition "born in the wrong body" rings true for myself.

[Theo]

For me the moniker of "born in the wrong body" never really fit either. As posted elsewhere, it was not the wrong body, merely one that felt was not very useful or desirable (not in the sexual sense, but in terms of "who would want such a thing"). I scared the heck out of  a colleague many years ago, way before realising that I was trans, when I stated that I would sell everything I had, give up all my friends and family, if someone came up to me and offered to do a certain procedure on me. The planned end result can be seen below. I would have given up everything to no longer have to deal with the lump of flesh that surrounded my brain, which I saw as the only part that was really "me". It has only really been after starting HRT that I have begun to truly feel that my body is an integral part of my identity, rather than a mere appendage that I occasionally found partially useful.

[insideontheoutside]

My personal view of my birth and the body I have is that chemical things that were going on with my mom while she was pregnant with me pretty much set the stage for me being how I am. Is it necessarily "wrong" though? I did used to think I was "born in the wrong body" during a particularly bad stretch of time in my life, but I gave that up. It is what it is. Nothing can go back and change what happened to me in the womb.

The problem with society is that there already are "third" genders and there have been throughout history – intersex people (and trans if you really want to get down to it). In some cultures they were totally acknowledged, in U.S. society they're still basically ignored, surgically altered without their consent, and most hide it if they can because of risk of idiots calling them freaks. I don't know if I'm legitimately intersex, but I'm different enough to have been at the receiving end of crappy doctors, and feeling like if people "found out" they'd think I was a freak. Add being trans on top that and I'm sure you can see how there were many points in my life where I was having issues with gender.

Now, I am a big proponent of the, "wouldn't it be nice if everyone could just be themselves and society accept that". I realize that's a bit of a pipe dream but just the fact more people are accepting gay as being natural and not some abnormal thing, I can hope that one day people will accept trans*, genderqueer, intersex, and everything else on the gender spectrum as normal and natural too. I don't think there's anything wrong or abnormal with me. I'm not the same as everyone else, but no two people are really alike, everyone is different. People can have similarities and things in common, but everyone is having a unique total experience in this life.

[D0LL]

Honestly, part of what made me think I wasn't trans for so long was the fact that everyone refers to it as "being born in the wrong body", and I just didn't understand what that meant. Yes, I hate my body and wish I was born in a male body. But that doesn't make me feel like I was born into the wrong body. Rather, I just feel like my life as a whole sucks, and would rather I had never been born at all. Not to put a dark cloud over this thread. I can't really describe it any better than that.

I'm not sure if my mom drank while she was preggo or what happened, but I have a LOT of health issues, and a lot of mental health issues as well. I spent my entire childhood as the sickly kid who's always missing school, and as a child spent a lot of my spare time crying under the dining room table in my house because of how much I hated my family and life. Maybe if I hadn't been so unhappy about the other aspects of my life, I would feel like I was simply born into the wrong body. But instead I just feel like I was never supposed to be born at all.

[JillSter]

The whole "born in the wrong body" thing was what convinced me that I wasn't really transgender for so many years. I've wished to be female ever since I was a little kid, but it's only been a source of distress since my early twenties -- when I first found myself alone. "Born in the wrong body" may apply to some people with extreme dysphoria, but personally I always felt more like my inner self and my outer (physical) self were out of allignment. Not that my body was wrong, but that I couldn't reconcile it. I talk to my therapist a lot about a disconnect between the self and the person others interact with. Much of it is related to gender, but I don't think anything is black and white. When people address me by my name it makes my mind reel. It's very disconcerting. There's a clear disconnect between my identity and my physical body, but I think it's more a product of the mind than the body. You are your brain. So if the two have to compete, the brain MUST win. Otherwise you'll never be content.

You made a lot of really good points, but I was glad you mentioned several examples of other genders. I think it's really cool that in some cultures transpeople are revered, such as the two-spirit becoming shamans.

Also, you said you have a girly face. I know we're our own worst critics and you might sometimes still see a girl when you look in the mirror. But I was still a little shocked when you said it. All I saw was a man. A very good looking man too.

I love the tattoo on your forearm btw. What is it of?

[JillSter]

Maybe if I hadn't been so unhappy about the other aspects of my life, I would feel like I was simply born into the wrong body. But instead I just feel like I was never supposed to be born at all.

FWIW.... *hugs*

[Jamison]

The whole "born in the wrong body" thing was what convinced me that I wasn't really transgender for so many years. I've wished to be female ever since I was a little kid, but it's only been a source of distress since my early twenties -- when I first found myself alone. "Born in the wrong body" may apply to some people with extreme dysphoria, but personally I always felt more like my inner self and my outer (physical) self were out of allignment. Not that my body was wrong, but that I couldn't reconcile it. I talk to my therapist a lot about a disconnect between the self and the person others interact with. Much of it is related to gender, but I don't think anything is black and white. When people address me by my name it makes my mind reel. It's very disconcerting. There's a clear disconnect between my identity and my physical body, but I think it's more a product of the mind than the body. You are your brain. So if the two have to compete, the brain MUST win. Otherwise you'll never be content.

You made a lot of really good points, but I was glad you mentioned several examples of other genders. I think it's really cool that in some cultures transpeople are revered, such as the two-spirit becoming shamans.

Also, you said you have a girly face. I know we're our own worst critics and you might sometimes still see a girl when you look in the mirror. But I was still a little shocked when you said it. All I saw was a man. A very good looking man too.

I love the tattoo on your forearm btw. What is it of?

Thanks. It's a Banksy piece. He painted it on a barrier wall in the West Bank at the site of a massacre during the first intifada.
You can see it here: http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/74224336.jpg

[JillSter]

Thanks. It's a Banksy piece. He painted it on a barrier wall in the West Bank at the site of a massacre during the first intifada.
You can see it here: http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/74224336.jpg

I don't know the reference, sorry. Is that a bird with a bullet proof vest? I'm curious now. Massacre? What massacre? What happened? What does the tattoo mean to you?

Sorry if I'm derailing the topic but I'm a curious bird. lol

[Jamison]

I don't know the reference, sorry. Is that a bird with a bullet proof vest? I'm curious now. Massacre? What massacre? What happened? What does the tattoo mean to you?

Sorry if I'm derailing the topic but I'm a curious bird. lol

It's cool, I should of clarified. Banksy is a political-orientated street artist. There's a documentary about him called, "Exit Through the Gift Shop," you may have seen. The piece shows a dove, with an olive branch (a peace reference) with a bullet proof vest and a target. It faces an Israeli military watchtower and is on a wall with numerous bullet holes, some from when 40 Palestinians were rounded up and shot against this wall. That is the massacre I'm referring to, though over 1K Palestinians died in this uprising. If you want to read more about it, just google first initifada. It occurred between 87-91. A second intifada occurred in 2000.

[JillSter]

It's cool, I should of clarified. Banksy is a political-orientated street artist. There's a documentary about him called, "Exit Through the Gift Shop," you may have seen. The piece shows a dove, with an olive branch (a peace reference) with a bullet proof vest and a target. It faces an Israeli military watchtower and is on a wall with numerous bullet holes, some from when 40 Palestinians were rounded up and shot against this wall. That is the massacre I'm referring to, though over 1K Palestinians died in this uprising. If you want to read more about it, just google first initifada. It occurred between 87-91. A second intifada occurred in 2000.

I haven't seen that documentary, but I know the one you're talking about. I'll have to watch it. It sounds pretty heavy though.

[JillSter]

I was thinking about this more and it occurred to me that maybe instead of "born in the wrong body" it might be more accurate to say "raised in the wrong gender role."

What do you all think? Does that makes sense to anyone else?

[BrotherBen]

I was thinking about this more and it occurred to me that maybe instead of "born in the wrong body" it might be more accurate to say "raised in the wrong gender role."

What do you all think? Does that makes sense to anyone else?

Yeah, that sounds more like how I feel. But even though I wouldn't describe myself as being "born in the wrong body," I do think the phrase is useful because it's easier for cis-folks to imagine "What if I were exactly myself, but born in a body that didn't match my current self?" than "What if I were raised in another gender role?"