Telling a Cisgirl You're Trans (MTF) ?

[janellebell]

Hello everyone!

I'm about 2.5 months in on transition and I pass pretty much 99% of the time, including to the current girl that I am seeing. We're not official yet, but it sure seems like its going that way (hopefully).
We went on a date and it was absolutely amazing and full of chemistry and butterflies. She was a true sweetheart and treated me like a lady she even paid for everything (which I didn't expect but didn't mind). She's a femme like me but more of like a chapstick lesbian type.

She wants to go on more dates with me and spend time with me more. Our first date ended up in a passionate kiss, well multiple deep kisses. I know, never kiss on the first date (and she says usually she doesn't) but something about that night just made us oh so eager to embrace.

Anyways I am still pre-op with plans to SRS in a year or two if I magically get enough money.

I'm wondering what are your experiences with telling cisgirls you are a trans woman? Are you currently still with this girl? Did they reject you?

Lastly what is the best and easiest way to at least hint or tell a girl you are trans without being so upfront (until later of course) ? Any like hints or open ended scenario type questions you could propose?

Your advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks!

[kariann330]

Im still with my gf who is bi but i will admit there were some very rough times. But i will say that if she currently sees you as female come out quick because if things start to get hot and heavy that would be a really bad time for the "by the way i was born a boy" talk...heck it might even remind you of a Springer episode lol. If not and your dating her as a guy then you can take a little more time but it's still best to tell her before she starts catching serious feelings.

[Amelia Pond]

I agree with kariann, you need to tell her before things get too serious but I think it's okay to wait a little bit longer.

I can tell you that when I came out to my 100% straight, cis female wife, things were really rough, they still are sometimes. Being straight, I here her say "I'm not a lesbian", which many of us married women have heard. Luckily, she's starting to realize that I'm still the same person she married, just a little different and that by staying in a relationship with me doesn't make her a lesbian, it makes me one.

Marriage and dating are two different things but when all is said and done, at least if she doesn't accept you for you, it is much easier to deal with the heartbreak than by letting things get very serious and then telling her and have her not accept you. On the other hand, she might find it easier to accept you while things aren't so serious.

Amy

[Lisatrans69]

This is my first post, so first on the topic. This girl just grew up telling anyone who asked, that I was a girl. So childhood Cisgirls accepted me, or I was protected by my parent's, teachers, etc. though I got ugly comments and cried, confused, many time very young. And I LOOKED like a girl. It never dawned on me I wasn't, even when told by my parent's, play therapists, - complicated. I was the classic born TG child. At 4, I was playing with my sister Claire and remember playing Barbie's with her, and soon Claire helped me put on 'pretty' clothes like Barbie! A dress, panties, Claire's older things, lacy white socks, and my hair with barrettes! After all, I was her little sister. Born in California, there was precedent for my condition, and I grew up as a girl, with "a birth defect." Soon it was therapists, psychiatrists, etc., and was diagnosed TG by five. I had to wear gender neutral clothing, but panties like other girls, and at home I could wear regular girl's clothes. I was on puberty blockers by 9, and with my Father a surgeon, Mom a nurse, and professionals, I, received Extensive medicines to promote my feminine body development. At a point though, as I was developing breasts, I was home schooled, private schools...total transition at 14; and spent my time, as Claire was, in a parentally designated "proper" course. I have MANY heartfelt, funny, and lately more romantic stories to share.

Today, having received a full, private extensive genital correction procedure for my 18th birthday; I am about to enter my Junior year in Pre-Med at an excellent CA University. I have had the same boyfriend for around 18 months, and we are in love.

I am just trying to contact help in posting my Overall profile, my picture, establish on-line relationships, and help people going through the process; I know it well and have studied it. Love life, being a young woman, focused on my education, and want to listen and learn too. I've had trouble finding where to post these things, and I am always, like many of you, busy. Now boning up for my classes next year, and dates with Brad, outings with my girlfriends, living life in beautiful San Fran!

If you meet any ignorant person regarding your gender identity, your struggle, and your right to be yourself - they have the problem!

Hearts, Please contact...

Lisa

 

[Jamie D]

I love San Francisco.  Especially old pictures of it, about the time of the earthquake.

[Miranda Catherine]

This is my first post, so first on the topic. This girl just grew up telling anyone who asked, that I was a girl. So childhood Cisgirls accepted me, or I was protected by my parent's, teachers, etc. though I got ugly comments and cried, confused, many time very young. And I LOOKED like a girl. It never dawned on me I wasn't, even when told by my parent's, play therapists, - complicated. I was the classic born TG child. At 4, I was playing with my sister Claire and remember playing Barbie's with her, and soon Claire helped me put on 'pretty' clothes like Barbie! A dress, panties, Claire's older things, lacy white socks, and my hair with barrettes! After all, I was her little sister. Born in California, there was precedent for my condition, and I grew up as a girl, with "a birth defect." Soon it was therapists, psychiatrists, etc., and was diagnosed TG by five. I had to wear gender neutral clothing, but panties like other girls, and at home I could wear regular girl's clothes. I was on puberty blockers by 9, and with my Father a surgeon, Mom a nurse, and professionals, I, received Extensive medicines to promote my feminine body development. At a point though, as I was developing breasts, I was home schooled, private schools...total transition at 14; and spent my time, as Claire was, in a parentally designated "proper" course. I have MANY heartfelt, funny, and lately more romantic stories to share.

Today, having received a full, private extensive genital correction procedure for my 18th birthday; I am about to enter my Junior year in Pre-Med at an excellent CA University. I have had the same boyfriend for around 18 months, and we are in love.

I am just trying to contact help in posting my Overall profile, my picture, establish on-line relationships, and help people going through the process; I know it well and have studied it. Love life, being a young woman, focused on my education, and want to listen and learn too. I've had trouble finding where to post these things, and I am always, like many of you, busy. Now boning up for my classes next year, and dates with Brad, outings with my girlfriends, living life in beautiful San Fran!

If you meet any ignorant person regarding your gender identity, your struggle, and your right to be yourself - they have the problem!

Hearts, Please contact...

Lisa

I don't mean to change the subject, because I have a boyfriend I met on a TG site, but Lisa, I envy you beyond words and your family should be appreciated and congratulated for letting their daughter be their daughter. I'm a classic transsexual too, I think, having thought I was a girl till I was four, then knowing I was in the wrong body for more than five decades, trying miserably to make do. I didn't and couldn't. My era made it physically and emotionally impossible to achieve what you did, even if my parents would have been all for it. In those days I would have been taken away from them and put in foster care and sent to a therapist to be "cured." So yes, I'm envious, but in a good way. I'm really very happy for you and proud of you, your family, and your BF. God bless you, Mira