first psychiatrist meeting. Depression back.

[Emmaline]

So I after an anxious few weeks trying to get through to a psychiatrist who I had a referral for (did not answer phone) and paying 80 bucks for another referral... the second called and said he would mail me dates as options, but didnt... then the first guy calls me back....  after all that anxiety I finally  had my first appointment.  A month ago I was recovering from a long and severe depression (6+ months) that suddenly stopped after realizing I was trans.

After an hour meeting I am back to depressed and the suicidal thoughts have returned (nothing at the level I cant handle, -30 years of ignoring them) it was so nice not having them for a change.
It feels that, here is this gate keeper to transition, and its financially in his best interest to keep me as long as possible before signing me into the system.  Here I am back to square one when I was so hopeful.  I have no energy.
I could call lifeline but they would just tell me to call gender center and they never answer phone (their message says call lifeline).  No wonder so many of us just ->-bleeped-<-ing die from this.

I am so sick of paying specialists ridiculous fees to wind up back where I started. 

How long can I expect to get strung along in psych before its the endocrinologist turn to milk me of cash?

[Cindy]

OK, download the WPATH standards of care. Read them and take them with you.

There is no reason for you to be strung out for HRT unless you have co-morbidity conditions.

You are in the USA (?) and you are entitled to informed consent, 6 sessions max - unless as I said co-morbidity due to your sui thoughts.

As my psychiatrist said: There are two types of psychiatrists, ones who help, and ones that get paid.

Cindy

[Jenny07]

Emmaline

Don't let it beat you. Sound like you need another therapist.
There has to be another in this town of ours.

Hang in there.

How are you going with the things you can control?
Laser sessions? Face, legs, front as it does take time and makes me feel a bit better.
Shopping?

Focus on the little things you can do and enjoy them while working on the bigger issue

Hugs Jen

[Lesley_Roberta]

Remember, a piece of framed paper doesn't make a shrink defacto any good. Just like there are MDs doing their best to get stuck with malpractice.

The piece of paper on the wall often just means that they were able to stick it out economically long enough to get the piece of paper.

And a license to practice can be worth no more than a drivers license, and we all know how many of those are worthless documents.

Don't play softball in a hard ball profession, make the shrink deliver, they are getting paid plenty enough to do so.

[Kia]

OK, download the WPATH standards of care. Read them and take them with you.

There is no reason for you to be strung out for HRT unless you have co-morbidity conditions.

You are in the USA (?) and you are entitled to informed consent, 6 sessions max - unless as I said co-morbidity due to your sui thoughts.

As my psychiatrist said: There are two types of psychiatrists, ones who help, and ones that get paid.

Cindy

Definitely this, unless you're therapist is a gender specialist chances are they aren't all that well versed in the SoC. Same goes for your general physician who should be capable of getting you started on hrt, at the very least they can send for your blood work. part of the whole gatekeeping phenomenon is that doctors and patients don't really know how it's supposed to go, so if you know then you are in a position to dictate how things go.

good luck and keep your head up, everyday may be agony but you're one day closer to being the real you

xxHugsxx

[Emmaline]

Thanks all...  I will download it and get all read up.
I guess its good to questio  everything thoroughly before diving in, but its hard dealing with dysphoria and depression and having to slog an uphill path to the solution. 

For now, waxing helped a heap.. did laser research... doing a lot of window shopping and working. 

Thanks again.

[Sammy]

I know how You feel - I had the feelings when I was seeing my first therapist, because I realised that he is not going to do anything with regard to my possible transition, but will rather try to explore all my possible disorders, memories etc, make me writing lots of tests - which usually took up most of the sessions and there went 70 USD just for amswerimg 50 questions... I did not felt any improvement after those sessions either - and he kept saying that we have a looooong journey ahead. When he made a referral to one fictional character from a book saying that this was one example of how a guy can lead a very emotional and marginally feminine life - that was the last straw. There are a lot of those psychiatrists out there and there are many of them who have no clue about transgender. Worst of that, they dont wanna learn - they just keep appying same principles which they do with drug/alcohol additins, depressed wives etc. So they are basically  And another advice - try to get a female therapist - there is a HUGE difference. A guy will keep pressing You about whether You want to ditch Your manhood (they see it as some sort of insult... almost), they will ask stupid questions about what in Your opinion means being a woman and then analyse Your responses from practical and rational point of view (like they would know how it feels...) - i remember telling him that I want to embrace the whole world, laugh and smile at it and see it smiling it back, feeling a warm wind brushing my soft and smooth cheeks, my hair flying wildly - he just stared at me with that expression "Dude, WTF???"

[Jenny07]

Emmaline

Loose your old self a bit every day and watch as the male I you slowly softens.

Laser always makes me feel great after, so girl get yourself busy zapping those hairs away forever!
Window shopping is nice but it makes me sad as I want to do more than window shop.

Cindy loves it so she can give us both pointers.
Catherine who is indisposed is even worse I hear.

Good luck with the therapy and don't let them waste your time.

J

[aleon515]

There are therapists who are really not just taking people's money but are truly damaging. I think the worst thing about "requiring therapy" which to me is insulting or worse, is that there is some idea that therapy is always useful or at least benign. This is hardly the case. Watch out who you see, if someone makes you feel worse that is really a signal of something gone really amiss. To ignore who you are for some stupid idea they have in their head. Paternalistic or worse.

--Jay

[Emmaline]

Thanks all.  Yep.  Need another one.
I asked today if he had ever helped anyone through transition.  He said no.
This is the recommended gender specialist.

Pm me if any suggestions in sydney.

[Sammy]

I asked today if he had ever helped anyone through transition.  He said no.

Well, that is Your answer then... Only things which my did, was trying to scare me, play on my insecurities and trying to convince that male life would be better for me. And I noticed that he really did employ that paternalistic approach, trying to present himself as big wise old patriarch, including a lot of small details in his office.

If You really need a therapist for Your transition - like referrals or prescriptions - then You need a good one! And I will not be very original, but a joint opinion is that it is better for a MtF to have a female therapist. At least, You will have a female professional, who will look at this whole mess from female perspective, relate to is as a woman and if things will go well enough, she might become Your first female friend.

[Cindy]

Thanks all.  Yep.  Need another one.
I asked today if he had ever helped anyone through transition.  He said no.
This is the recommended gender specialist.

Pm me if any suggestions in sydney.

go to www.anzpath

There is a list of specialists in Sydney. Many in Sydney will put you on HRT in one or two visits.

[aleon515]

Thanks all.  Yep.  Need another one.
I asked today if he had ever helped anyone through transition.  He said no.
This is the recommended gender specialist.

Pm me if any suggestions in sydney.

Run away, don't walk.

--Jay