Felt like a freak when shopping

[SciNerdGirl]

So, I was at Target today, and I bought some girl clothes.  PJ top, two PJ bottoms and a skirt.  The thing is, I was in "guy" mode (Have never had the nerve to go out in "girl" mode).  I felt like a freak (Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs sort of freak).  The thing is, I usually use the "self" check-out when I buy girl stuff, so I don't need to interact with anyone.   However, Target doesn't have a self check out, and I really wanted that skirt and PJs.   So, after much courage building, I went for it and checked out.  I can only imagine what the girl at the checkout counter was thinking (I'm sure she was thinking the same thing I was...."Freak").

I'm sure my experience is not unique, I guess I'm just looking for a little support.

On a plus side, I had enough adrenaline flowing through my blood that I was able to jog a full 3 miles today (instead of my usual two) at a solid 6mph clip.

J.

[Devlyn]

Checkout people are ususally just thinking of the end of their shift! Gonna show us the skirt? Hugs, Devlyn

[Theo]

Actually, if you're in "guy mode", and the person at the checkout counter thought anything other than what Devlyn said, then it was probably the easiest conclusion to make: "purchasing for someone else". "Freak" is way too complex. People go for easy solutions.

[Madison Leigh]

So, I was at Target today, and I bought some girl clothes.  PJ top, two PJ bottoms and a skirt.  The thing is, I was in "guy" mode (Have never had the nerve to go out in "girl" mode).  I felt like a freak (Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs sort of freak).  The thing is, I usually use the "self" check-out when I buy girl stuff, so I don't need to interact with anyone.   However, Target doesn't have a self check out, and I really wanted that skirt and PJs.   So, after much courage building, I went for it and checked out.  I can only imagine what the girl at the checkout counter was thinking (I'm sure she was thinking the same thing I was...."Freak").

I'm sure my experience is not unique, I guess I'm just looking for a little support.

On a plus side, I had enough adrenaline flowing through my blood that I was able to jog a full 3 miles today (instead of my usual two) at a solid 6mph clip.

J.

I spent some time as a PT cashier there and at least at the store I was at, she wouldn't have batted an eyelash. 

If anything she was probably admiring what you were buying without regards to who it was/wasn't for.

[JoW]

In my experience, the more often you do it, the more normal it will feel.

People go for easy solutions

Absolutely they do. And the easiest solution - even if they do have a problem with your clothing choices, which usually they don't - is to sell you your goods and allow you to leave.

[SciNerdGirl]

In my experience, the more often you do it, the more normal it will feel.

Absolutely they do. And the easiest solution - even if they do have a problem with your clothing choices, which usually they don't - is to sell you your goods and allow you to leave.

I Know, right.  The first time I bought something girly was a jar of nail polish.  I used a self check-out and my heart was beating like crazy.  Since then I have purchased 5 pairs of shoes, 3 skirts, two sports bras and a small amount of makeup.  The thing is, I've always used a self checkout so it wasn't too bad.  The couple times I have bought "real jewelry" (Like my beloved Fossil watch) I've been able to play it off as a gift for my wife.

What I would love is to have a girlfriend to go shopping with.  The most ironic thing is that my wife has virtually no girly-ness about her.  She totally shops like a man, goes into a store knowing exactly what she wants and what size.  Buys it, and leaves.

I gave up trying to buy her girly things a long time ago.  Now when I buy her gifts, it's technology, or camera equipment.

J.

[Eva Marie]

SciNerdGirl-

Congrats on your successful shopping experience - like others have said it gets easier the more you do it. You have every right to purchase whatever you want and if a store employee ever gives you attitude i'd just ask for a manager and solve it right there on the spot.

And like Devlyn said - wheres the pics?

[justpat]

  I was shopping by myself at Kohl's picked up several hundred dollars worth of stuff,shoes dresses, panties ,bras,etc when I went to check out the young lady there kinda looked at me I just said DO  YOU THINK THEY WILL FIT?  BIG SMILE!

[Athena]

Two things

1) stay away from smaller specialty stores. I work at a comic store and sometimes when women come in and buy stuff more "male" oriented I might strike up a conversation more so to try to make her comfortable but it is a small store and sometimes it is kind of boring.

2) act like it is normal for you. I notice more when people are nervous then what they are buying. If someone buys more then 1 comic at a time I don't even notice which books they buy.

So act like it isn't a big deal and most cashiers will barely notice you at all 

[Siege]

I've had cashiering positions in the past, and I can tell you that there's a high chance that the cashier honestly doesn't care about what you're buying. And even if they did, like someone said above, they would most likely figure you were buying stuff for someone else.

Don't worry yourself too much.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I often hear people saying that they wonder what the cashier is thing, to which I say "Who gives a flying frack what they think?"  They job is to ring up my purchases , take my money, make change and say "Have a nice day.  Thank you for shopping with us."  I don't care if they smile or even gender me correctly.

I know they will say something to their fellow workmates later, that is the nature of the beast.  But other than that, I could care less.  And if they create a problem, I report it to the manager.

[Jennygirl]

2) act like it is normal for you. I notice more when people are nervous then what they are buying. If someone buys more then 1 comic at a time I don't even notice which books they buy.

So act like it isn't a big deal and most cashiers will barely notice you at all

This!

The only way someone is ever going to think of you as a "freak" in this situation is if you are emanating a bad vibe

If you are giving off nervous energies, people will pick up on it. Try a more dgaf attitude and keep telling yourself "who the eff really cares anyway?"

Nobody.

[Athena]

Thank you internet

[Jerri]

I for know what you mean, I wanted to pamper myself a bit last weekend so I went drug store bought some wax strips for my eye brows and nail polish to match the new top I had bought at the mall, I was so nervous I am only in my third week of hrt so spend a good deal of time in boy mode. the ladie was so nice though she even gave me a matching lip gloss sugestion and a coupon to get it free. so many times I make my own situational judgement and dont wait to measure the real senario. it helps being in an accepting comunitee and haveing good support from family and freinds thanks to all of you also. Jerri

[Lisa55]

What I would love is to have a girlfriend to go shopping with.  The most ironic thing is that my wife has virtually no girly-ness about her.  She totally shops like a man, goes into a store knowing exactly what she wants and what size.  Buys it, and leaves.

Careful there, I doubt there is a bigger giveaway in than plonking down a pair of size 8 sandals alongside a pair of size 12 when there is a GG and GM standing at the counter.   Good job I'm getting closer to the point of JDC, although to be fair there has never been any comment or even double take when they check we are not making off with a Left 12 Right 11 unmatched pair.

Same problem when buying XL and my SO clearly isn't XL although she is better at getting me to return stuff that is no good rather than just slinging it in the back of the closet like I used to.  For some reason I find it harder to return stuff than to buy it, probably because it feels more like admitting " yeah it was for me, and no it didn't fit" lol.

[SciNerdGirl]

As requested, Here is the pic of the skirt I bought.



It's really nothing special, I just really wanted a pleated skirt and blue is my favorite color.

J.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Nice.  Good color

[vegie271]

I never had problems anywhere even at the times I cross presented - regular stores - thrift stores - fancy stores - even small specially stores with people helping me. If you just act like you are supposed to be doing what you are doing it works it is when you are acting guilty THEY get antsy. Most of them just want to get paid and go home.

[Jamie D]

I Know, right.  The first time I bought something girly was a jar of nail polish.  I used a self check-out and my heart was beating like crazy.  Since then I have purchased 5 pairs of shoes, 3 skirts, two sports bras and a small amount of makeup.  The thing is, I've always used a self checkout so it wasn't too bad.  The couple times I have bought "real jewelry" (Like my beloved Fossil watch) I've been able to play it off as a gift for my wife.

What I would love is to have a girlfriend to go shopping with.  The most ironic thing is that my wife has virtually no girly-ness about her.  She totally shops like a man, goes into a store knowing exactly what she wants and what size.  Buys it, and leaves.

I gave up trying to buy her girly things a long time ago.  Now when I buy her gifts, it's technology, or camera equipment.

J.

When I was in college, I often worked weekend graveyard shifts at a 24-hour convenience store.  I saw all types, and didn't give a damn.  The hookers were some of my best customers.

[Madison Leigh]

When I was in college, I often worked weekend graveyard shifts at a 24-hour convenience store.  I saw all types, and didn't give a damn.  The hookers were some of my best customers.

My wife is (well was - she just took a promotion) a department manager over cosmetics and HBA at Wal-Mart.  She had several regular cross dressers and transgender women who were among her best (and friendliest) customers as well.  Frankly I think she's going to miss a few of them.