I finally managed to say it

[K.Lina]

I said to my mom that I am transgender. I did it. I planed to say it to her after I visit my doctor but she got it out of me. I couldnt lie anymore because I would hurt her much more. Trust me! There is nothing that can prepeare you for this and in the end getting courage and telling them in person is best way. I consider myself to be very emotionally stable person but this broke me. I cried like little child while mom was calm whole time and suported me. I didnt know how to start at first. I asked her what name they picked for me with dad If I was to be a girl. Not much sensitive but I was mess at time. Mom wondered for while and than said few names. Than she asked what did I mean by it if I try to tell her something by that. I tould her thru rushing tears that I feel like I should have been a girl. She paused for while and than asked "How long?" When I said that seriously 8 years she looked at me with compassion and said that I will always be her child no matter what and that we will handle this somehow. I was so touched by that That I cried like child. She just hugged me silently. Somehow she knew exactly how to react to ease my mind and she never studied the subject. I never knew she would react this way. If I did i would have tould her lot sooner. She also said that she was suspecting something and waited for me to tell her. I dont think that I could have had better mother ever. This is like dream comming true and I think that it gave me lot of needed courage to face my doctor when time comes. It was long conversation and I dont want to bore you to death. My point is that whatever you might think will happen when you tell your loved ones doesnt matter. They might always surprise you in a good or bad way. I am so much closer with my mom now. I always keept my distance and tried to hide things. Now I need to compensate for all those lost years.

I wish luck to all of you out there that are yet to make their first step and tell your loved ones.

[Donna Elvira]

Delighted for you Karolina. You have come a huge way in just 3 weeks and it's just starting!
Wishing you all the best.
Donna

[Antonia J]

It is such a burden that is lifted when you no longer have to keep that inside.  It sounds like your mom is am amazing person.  I am glad your first step went well

[SaveMeJeebus]

It's nice to hear you feel it has brought you both closer. Whoop whoop 

I am curious to know what names your Mum mentioned? =]

[Ltl89]

I am glad it went well and your mother responded with the compassion and respect you deserve.

[Amelia Pond]

That's great Karolina! I'm glad it went well and she accepted you for who you are.

Amy

[Athena]

I am glad and happy for you that it went so well

[Beth Andrea]

Somehow she knew exactly how to react to ease my mind and she never studied the subject.

...because she's a good mom, a loving mom. You're very lucky.

Best wishes on your journey!

[JillSter]

I'm so happy for you! Your mom sounds like a great mother. True unconditional love.

And good luck with your first appointment with the doctor.

[K.Lina]

Well. I made my decision before I joined this site. I guess that I just needed to build up some courage to actually tell anyone. I have to thank all of you here for your support that allowed me to build up lot of courage needed for this. It took me 3 weeks to finally tell out loud. It  indeed it helped me a lot to tell. I feel much better last month I slept badly and couldn't eat. Now I sleep like baby again. 
I was afraid that it might hurt people close to me so much that I even considered killing myself before just to spare them. Now I know that this is much better and if I did kill myself it would break them. By the way.
Names mom mentioned were Veronica and Michelle. But she also told me that whatever name I choose will be fine with her. We are much much closer now. She even told me today that se is actually looking forward to teaching me how to be a girl at which I almost cried again. 
It was embarrassing as hell when she walked upon me yesterday when I was dressed in my girl pajamas and ready to go to sleep. I don't know why but I still have problem when she sees me like this when I don't look like I would like to. I need to get that laser done asp. Does anyone has same kind of problem? She even commented on me being too skinny and that I need to put on some weight so I told her that only when I will get it in the right places.
Next thing for me will be telling my grand parents and dad. After this I plan to send letters to people In our surroundings and few close friends at work. I don't want to tell this at work sooner that I start HRT thou. I don't have any clue if they let me there or fire me. How would or did you proceed about this? Is that good plan or not? My only fear is how my dad reacts. After they got divorced with mom he didn't like that she changed her name back to one she had before. If he didn't like that, how can he react to me wanting to be a girl? It really scares me. Well I have mom and that is all I care about right now. He will have to learn to live with it. He might surprise me but it is all in future. 
Before I thought that i cant come out because how people would react. Now I know that people that will react badly don't deserve my attention and it isn't worth it to be bothered by them. It is especially hard with people around 30-40 because they are touched by Iron Curtain of communism. My mom is an exception and I hope my dad will be to. He is liberal in many things and I hope he will be in this to. I have to bore you to death with my reflections. Sorry about that. Like I said before It is great to know you people and I am really grateful for your support thru this hard times.

[Donna Elvira]

Next thing for me will be telling my grand parents and dad. After this I plan to send letters to people In our surroundings and few close friends at work. I don't want to tell this at work sooner that I start HRT thou. I don't have any clue if they let me there or fire me. How would or did you proceed about this? Is that good plan or not? My only fear is how my dad reacts. After they got divorced with mom he didn't like that she changed her name back to one she had before. If he didn't like that, how can he react to me wanting to be a girl? It really scares me. Well I have mom and that is all I care about right now. He will have to learn to live with it. He might surprise me but it is all in future. 

Karolina,
Based on my own experience, coming out to one or two people in the early stages of a transition is fantastic, especially if they are supportive. In my own case it was my wife and you already have your mother.
I know that you must be bursting to tell lots of other people too but, apart from the pleasure of getting it off your chest, think a bit about the advantages and disadvantages of coming out to a larger group of people as of now.
Apart from being pretty sure of where you want to go, what has changed that justifies letting a lot of people into your secret already? If you tell people now, most people will just see a guy who wants to be a girl and will react based on that.
If you tell people when they can already see or at least perceive the girl/woman to be, I think they generally react a lot better. That has been very much my own experience. I held off for a very long time before coming out but when I did, as a lot of physical changes had already been made, they could immediately see where I was coming from and I had almost no negative reactions from anyone.
So, I suggest you at least think about for a while and maybe discuss the pros and cons with your mother before letting a lot more people into the know.
Warm regards.
Donna

[K.Lina]

That is actually good advice Elvira. I didn't plan to tell them right now or in a month or so. I will have to talk about this with my doctor. Maybe she can tell me what kind of time frame would be best. I think that really close family should know before I start to change too much, they could feel like I don't trust them enough. One of things mom said to me was that I should have told her sooner. I will discuss this with mom what she thinks about telling other people. Thanks for advice. I guess I am still in euphoria from before.