wearing a dress when you're not used to it

[Yuki-jker86]

wow, Mary that sounds awesome!

I bought two more dresses yesterday. from the charity shop
good tip Mary, very good for experimenting.

First one, nice soft cotton, lovely pink colour. I really liked the material and I liked the way it moved. The second one was silky and very loose  in design. definitely need a padded bra under that, socks won't work this time. maybe I'll try one of those prosthetic things you can get...

well there is part of me that wants to wear them especially the pink one, but I guess it is a matter of comfort. I'm really not used to having my shoulders bare. I also have this voice in my head saying "you're a man, stop doing silly things".
I try to ignore it and just think of myself as a person who can do whatever s/he pleases.
I love how my waist and bottom looks from the side I also love my tummy, it curves naturally, I always hated it when presenting as a man, but in a dress it really looks very nice.
I think I need to put that on hold for the moment anyhow, it's a matter of money and my figure really is not what I want it to be.

[Kaitlin4475]

My wife asked me to try on one of her dresses to see of it would looked good. Dresses do feel a little different and alien to me  but I can't wait to pull off a look in a pretty dress. Sometimes I doubt my ability to pass in a dress or other upper garments because of my broad shoulders and prickly leg hairs (like not even a day after a shave) it saddens me. But time will tell I guess.

[Emmaline]

I find it normal- (and dysphoria easing) to wear female clothes but not okay to look in the mirror yet- as it highlights for me the male aspects of my appearance (pre hrt).
Wearing a long flowing skirt is awesome - you can walk about the house In one to practice... but a dress is bang out for me as they wont hang right.  The idea of having to wear one pre hrt terrifies me.  I would just go the eyeliner, girl cut jeans- a feminine ring or bracelet as a hint... little feminie touches to help confirm your serious.

[MadeleineG]

I find it normal- (and dysphoria easing) to wear female clothes but not okay to look in the mirror yet- as it highlights for me the male aspects of my appearance (pre hrt).

It's nice to know I'm not the only who experiences this.

Maddy

[Donna Elvira]

I really love dresses and just bought another one this afternoon:  black silk, sleeveless, straight cut with a a little bow to narrow the dress at  the hips.
Part of the secret to wearing dresses both comfortably and in a manner that looks good is to avoid any cuts where the waist is adjusted to the position of  average female waist. This doesn't work well at all with the average male body.

What does work very well in general is an "Empire Line " cut ie. narrowest point is just below the breasts and looser from this point down. What I am wearing in my avatar picture is almost an example but I have many dresses where the narrowest point is placed even higher. The other cut that should work very well is as described above ie straight cut, eventually narrowed below or just at the hips.

I have only been comfortable wearing sleeveless dresses since this year after more than 4 years HRT. Prior to that I just thought my arms were far too muscular but reduction of upper body musclar mass is definitely one of the very visible results I have obtained from HRT. My waist has also got narrower BTW and I am now doing specific exercices to narrow it even further.

Anyway, if you use such styles, dresses actually look a lot  better than skirts and tops as these garments again highlight the waist unless worn with a very loose top that covers waist and hips.

Last suggestion regarding dresses, don't hesitate to see a seamstress to adjust a garment which may be a lot too wide from waist down to accomodate an upper body size that is proportionately too big. For example I take a European size 42 to 44 top  (UK size 14 ) and a 38 to 40 size bottom (UK size 10) so in general, things that fit comfortably on my upper body are way too loose at the hips (except styles mentioned above).

This is very easy to adjust and you can tell the seamstress any yarn you like until you are comfortable telling the truth.

Hope that helps a few people find their way a little quicker..
Donna

[Carrie Liz]

so my question is, how did you feel when you first dressed yourself? was it wholly positive or were there lots of misgivings. I'm expecting and hoping that there are a lot of varied reactions. If not, then I think I must be really screwed up somehow.

Back in high school, when my dysphoria was at its strongest, I tried to wear female clothes several times. I REALLY wanted to, because I hated looking male so much, and was dying to look cute and feminine. But my reaction every single time? I'd love the way that it felt, and what it represented, but every single time I even looked at myself, I'd start crying because it looked so hideous on me. I did eventually start wearing panties full-time, but it took me ages to get up the confidence to make that switch. That's been my little feminine secret for years now, the thing that reminds me of who I am on the inside despite what's on the outside.

6.5 months into HRT, I still don't dress in female clothes that much, mostly because I still don't look that good in them. It's getting better, and I have found a couple of things that look half-decent, but man, when I first started HRT and tried wearing women's clothes again for the first time since I was a teenager, it was NOT fun. I looked awful in EVERYTHING. Shopping at Goodwill was freaking depressing, because every single thing that I tried on only highlighted the hideous bulk on my upper body.

So I don't know what your therapist was expecting, but yeah, that sounds like baloney if you ask me. You have to be either really confident in a "f*** you world, I do what I want!" way, or really lucky in the genetic lottery of body shape, to wear a dress pre-HRT.

This isn't the 70s anymore. Not all transsexuals have to be flamboyantly feminine girls who insist on wearing the most feminine of attire and don't give a damn what others think. Most girls my age actually HATE wearing dresses, because they're uncomfortable, too flashy, and they all seem to have body issues that they feel like dresses only highlight. Just about all of my female friends spend most of their lives wearing jeans.

[E-Brennan]

I tried the dress thing too the first time I put on women's clothes, and it put me off dresses for good.  I looked like a man in a dress.

Go out and sit somewhere to people watch.  You'll find that many women don't wear dresses - they just dress in pants, t-shirts, whatever is practical.  Shirts that have slightly different cuts.  Jeans that fit a little differently.  Cute shoes.  Jewelry.  It's often the little things that make them feminine.

What I've done since then is to get comfortable with more unisex items of female clothing.  T-shirts with shorter arms.  Female glasses.  Hoop earrings.  Female shoes (not high heels).  Think in terms of colors that women sometimes wear - a little pink goes a long way in making your clothing female, for instance.

The truly feminine clothing - dresses, tight pants, high heels, pretty tops etc. - seems to be made for truly feminine women. Most women would not look good or feel comfortable wearing that kind of thing, and many look bad in dresses.  Start small.  Accessorize.  Highlight.  Draw attention to what you do have, rather than what you don't have.

One of the biggest setbacks I had was when I saw myself in a dress.  But put me in a girl's t-shirt and a decent pair of jeans and I look reasonable.

[Emmaline]

I posted about my experience of exaggerated dysphoria when seeing myself in brain gender appropriate clothes recently and there are some great tips in the reply- I havent figured out linking yet- forgive me.