Androgyne identity romance issues

[Kinkly]

It has been ages since I last posted here.
these days I live full time presenting as a bearded Lady.
I have some issues with my body still.
But the pressing question in my life - is it possible for a non binary gender diverse person to find love while they are being true to who they are?
I have friends both M2F and F2M who have lovers of the few non binary people who have partners they became involved with them prior to transitioning or they are in very short term relationships.
I'd love to know if anyone has found lasting love while being true to themselves.

[suzifrommd]

It has been ages since I last posted here.
these days I live full time presenting as a bearded Lady.
I have some issues with my body still.
But the pressing question in my life - is it possible for a non binary gender diverse person to find love while they are being true to who they are?
I have friends both M2F and F2M who have lovers of the few non binary people who have partners they became involved with them prior to transitioning or they are in very short term relationships.
I'd love to know if anyone has found lasting love while being true to themselves.

I have a MAAB friend who presents as a masculine-looking woman. She uses female pronouns and considers herself a butch lesbian.

Post-transition, she put an ad on Craigslist of all places and met a pan-sexual genderqueer woman. They've been living together for years.

So it can happen.

[Shantel]

I have been married for 44 years and we are still very much in love. That is not what you are asking though, I know you want to know if this has come about since the beginning of transition. I do know that It is quite possible for those who have an outgoing and positive personality. I know for certain that I could come up with a date every night if I was single and more than likely someone way too young for me as well. But then it all comes down to personality and self assurance. I have met few women who are moved by my looks as much as by what I say. I prefer women as you have probably gathered by now. XY types are more often aroused by visual whereas XX types are aroused more often by what they hear. So if you were looking for a relationship with a male, a lady with a beard would probably not be well received. If you were looking for a relationship with a female, having a positive and outgoing personality, being a good conversationalist and good listener is a start.

[Lo]

I've been married a year and a half, started dating almost 5 years ago. He's a cishet man. I discovered who I was and came out after getting married, and we're still very much in love-- possibly even more so now.

It's possible, but even cishet people have a hard time finding lasting relationships too, no? Not to say that nonbinary people shouldn't complain, because it does feel like more of us are single than not, but relationships iz hard all around.

[Kinkly]

I find myself in the "friend zone" rather quickly.  People who find me physically attractive are not interested in a relationship and just want sex.  That is of no interest to me at all not without romance and a connection anyway

[suzifrommd]

I find myself in the "friend zone" rather quickly.  People who find me physically attractive are not interested in a relationship and just want sex.  That is of no interest to me at all not without romance and a connection anyway

Kinkly, have you tried online dating? Since dating and falling in love with a bearded lady takes a certain open-mindedness, maybe registering with one of the online sites might make it more likely you'd meet that special person.

[black_moon_dust]

@Kinkly

I find myself in that same situation a lot. I always wind up 'just the friend' then to make it worse, im usually asked if we can be friends with benefits. its one of those, wtf moments. I have plenty of ppl tell me im attractive but then im hit with that. Ive tried the whole online dating. I mostly get the whole 'i dont date feminine looking guys' most the time, or just ppl wanting nude pics. makes me wonder wtf a lot lol So for right now, i just go on dates and settle with the 'im just a friend'. Not sure what else to do.

[Shantel]

So for right now, i just go on dates and settle with the 'im just a friend'. Not sure what else to do.

Sometimes that works into a romance as time goes by which is how it's really suppose to begin rather than ass backwards with a hop in the sack first which never works long term.

[Kinkly]

I have tried online dating have an active profile on okcupid have also tried a few others the only contact that has been promising has ended up being from people who were just trying to scam people out of money.  Asking me to send money for flights so they could meet me.
  That happened on a paid site.  Needless to say after 6 months with no luck I wasn't going to renew my subscription.  I've had a few nice comments but it only lasts 2 or three messages using okcupid.  I havent totally given up hope but it is discouraging.

[black_moon_dust]

Im on Okcupid. I get people who just want a penpal (which is nice!) Some just wanting damn nude shots, or some honestly trying to scam me with something. I dont go to sites that demand pay. Got scammed by one a few years ago. I get a few messages but more views. Ppl ask me out from where i work but most the time they find me too strange and a second date never comes up.

[Taka]

i don't date, haven't tried that for years. living in the middle of nowhere isn't too good for online dating, so hard to meet up with anyone at all. and i already know most of the people who live here, so i have no idea how to start anything at all with any of them. most of them aren't even interesting, or the interesting ones are already taken.

and i'm not even out as whateveritisiam.

[Shantel]

I signed up on OKcupid and I've started talking to a girl on there.  Not sure its going to turn into anything or even if I want it to.  I noticed that there are tons of people looking to date genderqueer people, not sure if its just something in my city or not.  One odd thing is they tend to all be polyamorous with several partners already.

Kind of scary given what we know of STD's. Makes me happy I'm out of the dating game altogether. 

[MoonThief]

I've been dating the same person for about a year and a half. They first saw me as a female, but through us dating he has witnessed my slow transition. I've been lucky enough to have someone who is still standing by my side and trying to make it work with however far I feel the need to go with my transition.

[Kim 526]

Out of the last 4 relationships I was in, being post op was the death knell for the last two. They wanted it and I don't have it, simple as that. The previous two relationships were ok in that regard but other issues caused their falls.

I want very much to meet a FAAB androgyne for a long term friendship, and hope that happens real soon. I'm working on it!