The report is in (I got a report back from the shrink)

[Lesley_Roberta]

I totally understand why someone would have a psychiatric hx. I actually do as well. I understand taking notes as a psychiatrist or other professional. Maybe you are talking re: gaining the notes as some type of freedom of info. Maybe I read this wrong, I just don't see why you would get a report like that. I don't actually see the point, and I feel it's demeaning to get your life the way someone sees it like that.


--Jay

His was a paid opinion of a skilled individual. I also know he stated he was sympathetic to transgender people. It's usually worth while to hear varying view points. It's why Susan's place has worth to us all.

[Lesley_Roberta]

Hyper critical and an over achiever? yer kidding right

Yeah I am something of all of that to a point.

I spent till I was 25 as a virgin NOT because I couldn't get any, I was just obsessed with books. When you see a show where there is a bookwork in the cast, that is me.

I identify with Sailor Moon for a lot of preferential reasons, but really, I'm actually more like Sailor Mercury, the book worm girl that was never aware she was unpopular, because she wasn't even trying to be.

I'm driven to learn things. I poke my nose into anything if it can be a learning experience. I'd read things I doubt most would admit to having done, simply because I wanted to know.

When I talk, I am often hard to diagnose, as I tend to sound the opposite of how I feel. I've even gone so far as to point out to shrinks I am not happy, the smile is fake and I am desperately in need of a crying fit. I'm just too rigidly controlled.

[Jess42]

Things we do to our self, can be forgiven by ourselves.

Dumb ->-bleeped-<- we have done to others though, should be forgiven by them.

I have no great crimes, no great shames in my past. In fact, I could be claimed to be uniquely boring to a point.

1.I was a virgin on my wedding night.
2.I have been drunk twice in 51 years.
3.I have never done drugs at all.
4.I have no record of any sort, in fact I am so utterly clean.
5.Not having ever driven, I have of course a spotless driving past.
6.I have a single credit card that has a few bucks on it but I pay my bills in fact I am able to say I am a very good credit risk. I never pay the minimum, I usually drop a hundred bucks on my bill if at all.
7.I think my landlord actually likes the fact I pay in cash and always on time, since I have been here since 2006.

But life has been no bed of roses.
And there have been events I wish I could have missed.
Some moments in time, that seemed great at the time, but, as sweet as an apple is, it won't last forever and even a sweet apple can become rotten and moldy if permitted.

I want to be June Cleaver.

I really don't think you give yourself near enough credit Lesley.

1. I was anything but a virgin. I find it hard to control my desire sometimes. I really wish I could have held out for that one little aspect of my life. But, I have no regrets.
2. Really wish I could say the same thing again but I used to pretty much stay drunk in my younger days. Never an alcoholic though but just liked to party and have dome quite a few things under the influence (see above) that I ain't too proud of.
3. Pretty much tried everyting at least once and used to play music at gigs pretty much messed up most times. but again, no regrets.
4. Me too and I am proud of that especially taking into account the previous statements.
5. No record here either. I have been pulled over several times for speeding and accidentally running a redlight. I am lucky 'cause either the cop felt sorry for me or I am a smooth talker but most times I owned up to it and with a clean driving record, miracles do happen.
6. I wish, I feel so deep into debt that I play cards with the devil on Saturday nights.
7. I am buying my own house so I have to use checks but I really like using cash too but on big ticket items like the electronics I use and other items related to my real business, it's hard but at least it's a tax write off but you never really have it anyway.

June Cleaver doesn't exist. As a matter of fact no one like her exists. But I bet if she were a real person she would have just as many regrets, secrets, messups, skeletons in her closet along with maybe even her ownself and everything else in her life that we as, real people, do. June as we know her is Theodore Cleaver's mother and matriarch of the Cleaver family unit with no past. If she were real, believe me there would be a past and maybe not so pleasent.

The best thing is to forgive yourself, own your past and remember that who you were in the past is not who you are in the present or the future and don't dwell on regrets because mistakes we have made and learned from makes us who we are today. Remember when a therapist writes something down, its what you have told them and their professional opinion of that. Think back, I bet there are many actions and other things that counter what is written on the paper.