died a little on the inside

[SciNerdGirl]

So I am a, very much, in-the-closet M2F cross-dresser.  I have had gender identity issues since as long as I can remember (I'm in my early 40s, so it's been a long time).  I often fantasize about transitioning, but the practical realities of my life situation basically prevent taking any steps beyond the most superficial in nature (basically growing my hair out is OK, changing my body chemistry....not so much)

Although I was raised by a very loving family, it was also a very conservative, judgmental religious family.  A lot of my family's moral values are very generational and and I am generally pretty understanding of this since at their core, my parents are good people, they are just from another time.

Anyway, I am sitting at the Sunday dinner table eating citrus baked chicken with quinoa pilaf, that was purchased money that I earned and prepared with my hands.  I am basically the financial rock that supports the entire family. 

I'm not sure how the topic came up but my parents decided to express their outrage at the new law in California that would allow guys to "invade" female bathrooms just because they decided that they wanted to feel feminine that day.  It's as though the sole purpose and intent of the law was to  allow perverted sexual predators legal access to ladies bathrooms and locker rooms.  I sat in silence as my parents and my wife expressed their options about how horrible this was. 

Now the closet libertarian inside of me acknowledges that the idea of writing state laws about access to restroom facilities seems like a colossal waist of legislative effort, I was still dying a little bit on the inside knowing that my family would never accept my true gender identity.  It is sad that things like this just push me deeper and deeper into the closet.

[Jamie D]

I entirely understand the feeling you had.  At the same time, you might have missed a "teachable moment."

[Cindy]

I can understand.

Then you can point to the fact that most civilised countries treat Gay, Lesbian and trans*people as what they are.

People, just normal everyday people.

Prejudiced people sometimes never think of that. Their prejudice is from ignorance not from hate.

We teach them so they can grow.

I was gang raped by heterosexual males, not gay, not transgender: they were straight guys.

Who are the perverted ones?

The perverts are those who cannot accept.

Cindy

[Flan]

Prejudiced people sometimes never think of that. Their prejudice is from ignorance not from hate.

I would have to say a mixture of paranoia (stranger danger!), "you can do anything but change" (denial of gender identity) and the silly notion that criminals follow laws. People may be born ignorant but it also requires the fresh slate person to be taught (brainwashed?) into a hateful position against others.

Undoing that requires an open mind and humanizing the group that is on the divide.

[JillSter]

I really do think it's usually just lack of knowledge. I believe that most people are good people, and that if they try to understand somebody who is different from them they'll generally be compassionate. They may not approve, but that's okay. As long as they accept that some people are different enough that it's hard to understand them, but that they're still people and therefore deserve the same kindness and respect as anyone else.

The problem is most people don't know much at all about gender-variance, and don't try to understand because they can't imagine it. It doesn't make sense to them. They're also busy with their own lives and usually focus on the things that affect them directly, so many never get the opportunity to learn.

I'm not naive enough to assume that with education suddenly they'll change their minds about the bathroom issue (it's understandable that cispeople are uncomfortable with it) but if they learn enough they may begin to question their opinions. That's really all we can ever ask of anyone. Just stop and think. Just try to open your heart and mind. I believe all it takes for most people is just having that scary unknown demystified enough that their empathy kicks in. Where they go from there is up to them.

[MonHe]

Mixed feelings here.

I agree with above posts that prejudice predominantly stems from ignorance as opposed to hate.

But at the same time, I feel that perhaps we're being a bit too naive and giving them too much benefit of the doubt? At this given time and age, people choose to be ignorant.

I can imagine some of the thoughts that fly across their mind:

"Why take time to 'understand' when it's much more easier to conform with societal norms and just remain a hater. Why bother wasting time to 'understand' when it doesn't relate to me...and probably never be able to relate to? Why change your gender, I don't care if you're homo - I accept that, but there's no need to change your gender! I don't want to understand, I don't want to recognise and realise - because I'm adamant in my beliefs and self-declared morals - there's no need for change."

Blah blah blah.

I have no faith in humanity.