Hi everyone

[Jaelithe]

I got clued in to this website at my local trans support group, and I've been dropping replies on threads here and there so I might as well introduce myself.  I'm a very VERY early stage MtF, by which I mean that I've known about what I am for quite some time but am finally desperate enough to start acting on it in earnest.  To give you an idea, I have speech therapy scheduled for this coming September, as I view my voice as one of my biggest obsticles in passing, and will be beginning electrolysis with a trans-friendly and highly recommended clinic around that same time. 

I have yet to contact any therapists as I'm dealing with spousal concerns first.  As I mentioned in another thread, I came out to my wife about two years ago.  While she seemed to take it very well at first, stress built up over the weeks until she had a kind of breakdown.  I agreed to try cross dressing to see if that would be 'what I need' and she has been incredibly supportive of that since.

I have taken to wearing my 'casually girly' clothes and breast forms while around the house on my days off now, in the hopes that it will help get her more used to the idea of me as a woman.  I realize that this could all be a useless gesture, but it's also been helping me get more used to the idea of being myself when I don't have a convention or LGBT event to hide behind as an excuse.

Anyway, my  point was that I definately do NOT want to be doing anything behind her back.  So until I can confront her with this again, so as much as I want to get on horomone treatments LAST YEAR I am putting the steps that will lead to that off for her sake.

Enough personal drama though.  I'm a cybersecurity major in my last two semesters before graduation(SO CLOSE!) and working at Walmart to make ends meet until then.  I love to read, especially fantasy and science fiction(shock!), though I'm very picky about my entertainment material, and tend to get annoyed when a story abandons aspects I enjoyed(Damn you, Dune!).  I love character driven stories with plenty of drama and easily get lost in other peoples' lives.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Jaelithe,

Welcome to our little family. Over 7006. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

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Janet  )O(

[suzifrommd]

I have speech therapy scheduled for this coming September

Hi Jaelithe, welcome to Susan's.

Speech therapy was good, but I actually got a lot more from a series of videos on youtube from a user known as CANDIFLA. Definitely given them a watch. They made the difference for me. The speech therapist did a little tweaking, but what passability my voice has came from those videos.

[Jaelithe]

Thanks for the welcome.  I know my story is likely not unique, so appologies in advance to anyone who's rolling their eyes going 'yup, I've seen this one before'.  I'm not the most avid poster where forums are concerned, but I try to interject where I have an honest question or what I see as a valid point. 

I'll definitely give those videos a look, Suzi!  Thank you, most of what I was able to find on my own tended toward the "Here's a brief sample, NOW BUY OUR CD!" end of things.  While I understand that nothing about transition tends to be cheap, I want to cut costs where I can to put some aside for the bigger expenses.

[Rachel]

Welcome to Susan's. I listened to those u tubes and they are free. I use recordings from and to work that are from Lucy Sorella's site. They are not free.

[Jaelithe]

Well, I'm definitely still planning my speech therapy(verra not free), but that's something to practice in the meantime =3

[gennee]

Welcome to the site, Jaelithe. Congratulations on you beginning to undersand where you are.
In time the answers will come. Keep communicating with your spouse and answer any questions
she may have.

[Jaelithe]

I think you missed the part about that coming a bit down the line.  She's currently incredibly stressed getting ready for a show she's putting on so this is not the time to be dropping things like this on her.  I can wait until October for that, until then, research, practice, scheduling and anything else I can do without involving medical people. ^^;

[lissabuchannon]

I got clued in to this website at my local trans support group, and I've been dropping replies on threads here and there so I might as well introduce myself.  I'm a very VERY early stage MtF, by which I mean that I've known about what I am for quite some time but am finally desperate enough to start acting on it in earnest.  To give you an idea, I have speech therapy scheduled for this coming September, as I view my voice as one of my biggest obsticles in passing, and will be beginning electrolysis with a trans-friendly and highly recommended clinic around that same time. 

I have yet to contact any therapists as I'm dealing with spousal concerns first.  As I mentioned in another thread, I came out to my wife about two years ago.  While she seemed to take it very well at first, stress built up over the weeks until she had a kind of breakdown.  I agreed to try cross dressing to see if that would be 'what I need' and she has been incredibly supportive of that since.

I have taken to wearing my 'casually girly' clothes and breast forms while around the house on my days off now, in the hopes that it will help get her more used to the idea of me as a woman.  I realize that this could all be a useless gesture, but it's also been helping me get more used to the idea of being myself when I don't have a convention or LGBT event to hide behind as an excuse.

Anyway, my  point was that I definately do NOT want to be doing anything behind her back.  So until I can confront her with this again, so as much as I want to get on horomone treatments LAST YEAR I am putting the steps that will lead to that off for her sake.

Enough personal drama though.  I'm a cybersecurity major in my last two semesters before graduation(SO CLOSE!) and working at Walmart to make ends meet until then.  I love to read, especially fantasy and science fiction(shock!), though I'm very picky about my entertainment material, and tend to get annoyed when a story abandons aspects I enjoyed(Damn you, Dune!).  I love character driven stories with plenty of drama and easily get lost in other peoples' lives.

Welcome Jaelithe! I work in CS so you're def not alone here, lol!!! :wave:

[Jaelithe]

Thanks hon, I have all the anxieties I'm sure are normal for my stage of things.  "OMG, whatever therapist I choose will string me along for crazy amounts of money and deny me HRT!"  "OMG, my face is terrible, my voice is horrendous!  I'm never going to pass!"  etc.  But I'm working on that as best I can ^^;

[Miss Jill Thorn]

Hi Jaelithe, thank you for sharing this with us,I definetly think I  will never pass but within I know who and what I am hugs from Miss Jill in Alabama

[King Malachite]

Welcome.  You have a very pretty name.

[Jaelithe]

Well, Jill, I think that's really the more important part.  If I can get the rest of the world to acknowledge and accept me it will help my self esteem a lot, but the more real part of transition seems to me to be the personal acceptance.  To be able to wake up every day and know that I am a woman, and that I don't have to wear the 'man mask' anymore(or won't once I start pushing things forward again).

Thank you Malachite, yours is certainly attractive as well.  I've always liked gemstone names.  This one suits me I think, it's elegant sounding with just the right hint of obscure nerdyness ^^