Feeling down

[MellowMoxxi]

Hey all,

I've been feeling, well down/depressed/meh for the past week or so. Definitely more than normal. Just want to vent a tiny bit and maybe elicit some feedback to hopefully cheer things up. Doesn't have to be related. I just need a laugh or smile from anyone who may understand what's going on in this head. So, time to vent...

I have a decently long commute. My wife has recently started a job in the same area as me and so we are now carpooling. The nice thing with this situation is that we get to chat in the mornings and evenings and save some gas money. The problem is that one of her new clients is transgender.

Our conversations cover all aspects of work and life, but either I'm extra sensitive to conversations about this one client or she eludes to the topic a lot. At first, she noted that she doesn't know how to properly address this person, a reasonable concern. As she has gotten a little frustrated with the client, she's made comments about the person not passing well and that she doesn't know why they bother with certain things as such-and-such is noticeable anyways.

Regardless, I love my wife and don't believe she really feels this unkindly towards this person or what they are going through. What she had said was absolutely out of frustration, and I know this, but I can't seem to shake the uneasiness I feel with the topic and its relation to myself.

I want to live the life I dream about, and I want to be comfortable knowing it will be normal. My fear is that it won't. I know it won't, and that's because my marriage will change. I don't know if the person I love the most and need the most will be able to accept me. I can't see the risk paying off in the reward and as much as I know I've been teetering on the edge, I'm still too afraid to face that risk.

Any hints on how I can convince myself to make this decision? I've been trying to imagine what my life will be like, but every good thing is overshadowed by the realization of the bad. I know it won't be all good or even half good and that's life, but just a technique to help with this would be appreciated.

Finally, any good carpooling jokes?

Ellie

[Jasriella]

I don't know about techniques but I do know from experience that you have to be honest with your wife. When I broke up with my ex I told her after that I'm trans and should be a woman and I essentially got the "why didn't you tell me before?"

She's been supportive and wants to get back together and help me along transitioning when I fully start and to my surprise she's excited about the idea of being a lesbian couple. So yeah, in my case I should've said something sooner maybe things would've been different and we'd be married by now, we had a wedding planned and well you can guess the rest.

[A]

Just talk to her. It'll be energy much better spent than this worrying. You're probably thinking about pretty negative scenarios. And they probably won't happen.

[MellowMoxxi]

Just talk to her. It'll be energy much better spent than this worrying. You're probably thinking about pretty negative scenarios. And they probably won't happen.

You're right and very direct. Basically some good old fashioned confidence.

I don't know about techniques but I do know from experience that you have to be honest with your wife. When I broke up with my ex I told her after that I'm trans and should be a woman and I essentially got the "why didn't you tell me before?"

She's been supportive and wants to get back together and help me along transitioning when I fully start and to my surprise she's excited about the idea of being a lesbian couple. So yeah, in my case I should've said something sooner maybe things would've been different and we'd be married by now, we had a wedding planned and well you can guess the rest.

That's is great to hear Jasriella. She sounds like a great girl, and minus breaking up I hope my relationship can be like what yours will become.

Thank you both for your support

[A]

You don't really need a lot of confidence. All you need is to believe in her.

[Cindy]

Does she know you are trans*?

It sort of makes a difference if you are two women living together talking about this or if you are just newly out to her or if she doesn't know.

Sorry it wasn't clear to me where you are relationship wise.

Cindy