Hey there everyone!
Just a short and sweet bitch about having to shop for clothes on the highstreet! Never mind the issue of trying to achieve some sort of diluted gender expression through the buying of androgynous clothing, actually finding stuff that fits properly can be a major issue in itself!
I was very kindly taken on a shopping trip today my parents to buy me some clothes for a forthcoming job interview. The frustrating part of is that I don't fit men's clothes very well but neither do I fit women's perfectly either. My body shape isn't boxy like most men, and my torso isn't as long as the average chap's, so I really fit women's tailored jackets. However my arms are too long!
So usually the jacket sleeves look a bit odd, and then there's the whole issue of buttons and button holes being on opposite sides. Bah!
I've come home with a men's suit that looks nice, and fits me quite well, but it's still a man's suit, and I wanted to look more elegant (IE: more feminine) than that. People generally think that I want to look like a dischevelled long-haired rockstar or a dandy in a suit, but that's not either look I want am keen on. I want to look elegant without looking camp, and have long hair that pretty & styled instead of wild and rockstar-ish.
But its impossible to achieve an elegant look without looking like I'm crossdressing. So my options are I either dress my hair in the morning....and people will think I'm crossdressing, or wear it down and have people think that I like to look like a messy rockstar.
This is a major reason I want to have facial feminisation surgery, as currently I'm in a no-win situation looks wise. I'm just about too androgynous looking which makes people uncomfortable, but noy anywhere near feminine looking enough to pull off elegant clothes. If I looked pretty than I'd be much more accepted if I wore girl's blazers and my hair in elegant up-do's.
So for now, I look sort of like Russell Brand or Lawrence Llwelyn Bowen. Granted, they have style and I'd rather look like them than the average male, plus the Brand "look" can get the girls, but its not "me". I've realised over time that my "look" and preferred presentation style is female, as opposed to feminine male or dandy. No idea how to make all this work though, and I feel sad, as I'm 28 and won't be slim for ever, so I hate having to bury my figure in boxy male clothes.
Anyone else have this issue? It's not a life-dangering issue of course. Its just that I've never had a style or presentation I've been happy with, it saps your confidence and leaves you wondering where you fit in in life.
Bitching over
Does anyone listen to the group called Boards of Canada by the way?
