Hi everyone;
I am wondering what emotional and mental changes have you experienced through your process of taking HRT. Let me give you my thoughts. I have been back on HRT now for just over 8 months and initially on a low dose of Progynova only. Now that's been increased three times by my Doctor and I now have T levels below 1.0 in the natal female range.
For the first few months I noticed little changes, but by about Month 4, I started to realise that I was a lot calmer in my thinking, although I had an increase in my blood pressure which meant taking tablets to counter this, but after a month or so that stabilised. Around Month 5, I realised my Boobs were definitely growing and I passed the pencil boob test (It stayed there when I bent over), my skin had suddenly becoming silky soft and all of a sudden my hair on my bald patch was growing again (my hairdresser noticed this!).
Also in month 5 I noticed myself bursting into tears at just about any emotional thing on TV. For instance I watched Meg Ryan & Tom Hanks in You have got Mail and when Tom Hanks came in sight of Meg Ryan in the park and shouted " Brinkly" and Meg Ryan looked up and saw Tom Hanks walking towards her, I just burst into tears. With my eyes wet for a good 10 minutes.
My libido also basically vanished around the 6 month mark. What's it has been replaced with is a feeling of warmth all over my body, but especially in boobs and tummy when I feel aroused. Difficult to put a finger on it.
I have also found women are subconsciously treating me different. Women that meet me (as my male alter ego), now just want to give me a hug and kiss me on my cheek. I know my boobs are beginning to show, but somehow I have noticed dramatically they are treating me different - I am wondering if somehow I am giving off Pheromones which is triggering a different response. I also find that some men are treating me differently too - like sort of patronising me.
I have always been interested in women and have had a number of female relationships over the years and I have always adored the feeling of a women's skin and their softness. There is something so quite sensuous about having a women's breasts brush against my breasts that brings an amazing rush to my tummy.
But I don't really understand it yet, In the 7th month I started to notice how the men around me started to smell and I am feeling a bit aroused with some mens bodies. This all seems somewhat strange to me, although when I transitioned before some 25 years ago, I had a very brief affair with a man called Peter. Before my 6th month, I could detect a woman's aroma, but that sense of smell has somewhow left me. I have also noticed that my Urine and body odour seems to have a musky smell about it.
Since about month 6, I have suddenly very interested in fashion and seem to have a different sense of colurs almost as though somehow my eyes have changed. I also notice that I can no longer drink as much. I used to be able to drink a full bottle of wine without any effect, but now after 2 glasses of wine, I get a bit tipsy.
Quite why it is I don't know, but I find myself dithering about stuff a bit more. I used to be a confident driver and reversing into car spaces was easy. Now aftyter a few months on E though, I find I am not so confident and my reversing skills are definitely down.
As a man I was always pretty much an outgoing up front guy (I was in Sales), but as a Woman, I find myself very easily slipping into a more passive gentle state of mind. Its been a slow transition to this stage, but I am finding it much easier to let others taking the running at stuff and I am now more than content to listen and not feel the need to interrupt or contribute. I think I am a bit slower as well in my movements, but I have noticed that I am finding a little harder to stay concentrated on stuff - you know the "dithering female" bit
In the last month I have also noticed another subtle change in that I am beginning to feel that I want to be the passive person in a relationship. I am sure this is the overall effects of contentment as Judith, but I am wondering if this the start of a changing mental and emotional change to a situation where I will be happy to be someone's wife and home maker.
I also am starting to recognise that I may be interested in getting more serious in Cooking (I do like doing it, but I am starting to read recipes now from womens magazines - something before I was never interested in) and I have seriously started to look at joining a sowing group.
All in All I feel good, a calmer person with a lot more empathy to others.
What are other people's experiences and are there more changes to come?
Judith