I am at this point as well. i didn't even know what transgender was until this march. the more i did research on it the more i thought that was what i was. i think the fact that it made me get anxiety and i couldn't stop thinking about what it was i found made me question myself more. i don't think cis gendered people really think about that sort of thing, whether their body was correct or not or how it would be to be born as a guy, to the level that most of us here do. which made me take the next step to come out to my parents that i was "confused about my gender" and felt wrong in my body. i didn't say i was trans. because i don't know that myself still. i am confused. my parents understood and got me going to a therapist, i wanted to and my dad was so cool he recommended i could see one without me even mentioning it. I am taking this slow. i want to know everything about myself and ask all the questions and discover as much as i can and i what i need out of my life before i start to transition seriously.
being on this forum helps me put in writing what i feel and it really confirms what im thinking, solidifying what i have jumbled in my head.
i started seeing this therapist, who is awesome and brings cats to the office and has a husband who paints his nails and is proud of it!, anyway, she told me, at this point, so early on, and in the confused state im in, i am doing everything right. i try to find information, i go to find support and help i ask myself the questions and try to picture my future. she said as i do this the picture will become clearer and i'll be able to make a choice or maybe it won't be so black and white, that maybe as i go and ask these questions to myself i might already be mentally transitioning, to a point where i am comfortable enough to want to express it out. it'll be gradual. could take a few months or a few years, doesn't matter as long as you progress with yourself, know what it is you do and don't want. and eventually it'll dawn on you, hey im trans, or hey im ok with being a woman. and it shouldn't feel rushed. im just repeating what she told me, i like that bit of advice.
so, if you wanna try and pass half time, go for it, you're entitled to anything, try some guy clothes on at home alone, you like it, go to the grocerie store maybe. you still like it heck go to town in it.
the only crossdressing experience i have is in cosplay, for cons and such, honestly i love it when i get mistaken as a guy, i know it's mostly because my character is male but it's still an awesome feeling. and sometimes i wear mens sweaters for winter. some of my friends give me a hard time about why i look like a guy but i don't care, we turn it into a joke and all is good for me. but i feel comfotable doing that, even if it's halfway crossdressing i am taking it at my own pace. one day i might try to really pass at university. see how i like it. it's all trial and error is my point.
sorry for rambling, i hope this is coherent enough to make sense XD
