dealing with parents

[Taka]

i just found this interesting article about dealing with one's parents.
it's about making parents accept a partner they initially disapprove of, but if you switch "partner" with "your true self" and tweak a few wordings a little, the arguments still make sense.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/when-your-parents-disapprove-of-your-partner/00015804

read it to the end and tell me what you think.

[suzifrommd]

I especially like the point about not keeping your relationship secret.

We hear stories of people who won't mention their transition around their family because of negative reaction. I believe we deserve to have the people who claim to love us see us as who we are rather than they'd like us to be.

[Taka]

mm, yeah. it's made me think that whenever i make the decision to start making any kind of physical changes, i'll have to tell my parents as well. whether or not they like it, i'll change, hopefully in positive ways, and it would be better for our future relationship if they know i'm just trying to be myself, and am so sure that i want it that their yes or no doesn't matter, only any other suggestions on compromises for making it easier for us to be around each other.

[Jaelithe]

I'll certainly tell my parents once things proceed beyond their ability to interfere. I'll explain anything so long as they don't start falling back on their religion to prove me wrong, which is honestly what I expect.

[Felix]

I think it's a great article and wish I'd used the advice regarding wording and how to approach discussions with disapproving family. A lot of those strategies are also what works with the general public. People who don't accept me, I no longer try to argue with them and I try to just be calm and clear and simple about who I am and it works so much better.