bathroom escapades!

[FTMDiaries]

I usually go to disabled toilets, if there's no-one in there and no-one waiting. Otherwise, like a crazy person, I wait.

Here in the UK, many disabled toilets are locked and you need a special key to access them. You can only buy the key (called the Radar key) if you're actually disabled. So if you aren't disabled, you can't get access to many of the disabled toilets around the country. Which is good in a way, but it's very annoying when the disabled loo is the only gender-neutral option for miles. Of course, the actual problem here isn't that the disabled loo is locked - it's that no gender-neutral facilities have been provided for people who need them.

I don't pass well enough, especially with my voice, so justifying it with a "What?" is a little hard.

If you're worried about your voice outing you, an alternative response if challenged is to simply flip them the bird as you walk out the door.

[Erik Ezrin]

^
FTMDiaries, when I was in the UK I loved how mani unisex toilets there were. It was great! No debating in which toilet to go, just always right. Reduced a lot of stress for me.

The only time so far I've been into the men's is when I accidentally (I kid you not. It was really an accident!) walked into one in a restaurant in Rome. There were no urinals, nor guys, so I didn't even notice. Later I saw a lady come out of the other door, and I realized I was in the "wrong" toilet. She didn't say anything, and I just walked on with a stoic expression, so if she had doubts she might either not have expressed them or have them dismissed by my uber-confident man stare
I gladly was dressed all-out male then, so chances are she might just have labelled me as a young or feminine faced guy.

On the other hand, back before I was out I had some problems, especially using women's showers.  I was camping one time and had a lady come in and yell, and tell me I was in the wrong place.  When I was living in a female dorm I showered at three in the morning, if I showered at all, because I never failed to freak people out in there.  At a different campground I had some kids harass me for nearly a whole day.  They were next to us and spent quite a long time loudly debating me and calling me both gay and lesbian slurs after they saw me go into the ladies' side.  I do believe they called me an 'it.'  I was about twelve.

Oh man! That sucks! I had some of those things happen to me as a 10/11/12/13 yr old kid too (before I often wore an ugly pink sweater or a flowery pair of pants my mum bought me. At that age I started to reject her clothing choice and cut my hair which really made me look like a boy), later in high school they called me "it" several times, and some homophobic/lesbian slurs as well (when I'd hang out with one of my female friends they'd encourage us to 'kiss' and such :/), eventually I got so sick of it that I grew my hair out, etc. But now I don't care anymore. I know what I am, and no nasty comments can change that!

[mm]

This has turned into a long interesting thread with many ideas and situations presented.  I am a college student in the US, but have come to realize that in many English speaking countries how some words are use and their meaning varies with the country.

I have been using the unisex or men's rooms for about a year. In the men's confidence is a big part of feeling comfortable in there, guys say or look at each other very little; everyone does their business and leaves. This is great when your voice could cause questions.  Like many have said I got looks and comments in the women's.  I started college as a female student so many of the students I started with knew my history, so how could I use the men's in front of and with the guys who knew me.  It is a large campus many building but only a the newer ones have handicapped/unisex restrooms, most of my classes are in one building and there is a nearby building where no one I know of has classes there.  I go to this building and use the men's with no problem, first time was strange thou no one has ever said or looked at me strangely.  I use a stall and sit and have seen guys in there sitting with their feet pointed out too.  Last semester I had two days a week where I was on campus from 8:30 in the morning to 10 in the evening, long day.  I still have my shark week so have to change tampons several times in the men's; I planned it so there should likely be no one else in there when I needed to change.  I pushed the old one deep in the trash bin no problems so far.

Being out with a group of students has presented some interesting situations in the last year, also needing to go in places that have large restrooms and lots of guys in there at the same time.

[Mattfromengland]

I had an interesting one today.

Apart from my BF (who's known since I've known him, 9 years, and my parents) I only started the process of coming out to family and friends 3 weeks ago today. So still working my way through people!!!! My Aunt and uncle are over from America and Antigua at the moment. I haven't seen either of them for 9 years. Long story, but they are VERY closed minded. So although so far EVERYONE has been 100% supportive and I've not had a bad response from anyone, the whole family decided it might be best NOT to say anything to them just yet!!!!

So today the family are out for the day. I'm thinking, uh oh, I've just started using the gents (I'm pre T, but have passed for most of my life without even trying. So far been in twice, and the second time someone walked in while I was washing my hands. He didn't bat an eyelid so that's a million times better than being stared at in the ladies), so what do I do today?? Yikes.

Anyway, we arrived at the restaurant first (we were in 2 cars) and I followed my niece to the loo. It was a two hour drive, so we were both desperate. It was quiet near the loos, so I just decided at the last  minute to use the gents rather than the ladies. My niece bless her said to me "Go for it". So I did!!!

While I was in there it suddenly occurred to me that my Uncle would most likely also need to go. I'm sat in a cubicle, thinking, Uh oh!!!!

So I dash out and try to leave as quickly as possible, but just as I get close to the door my Uncle walks in!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!! How embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[andrews49]

I never use the bathroom to pee, just to wash my hands. I always go into the mens bathroom. But on some occasions where a store seems sketchy, I go in the womens. Usually early in the morning when I go out, no one is in there so they can't see me. I'm just scared to go to a restroom in a club. I've been to the mens to go because of the drinking but I was with my sister. She was really drunk so she went in the mens too, luckily no one else was there. I'm just scared because I've heard stories of creepy guys in bathrooms that can kidnap someone and do things to them. I'm not sure which restroom to go to this weekend when I will be going to a gay club. I want to use the mens so I'll pass, but I don't want to be in the womens and have people know I'm trans or think I'm just a lesbian. I will be going with my sister and a few friends who are girls so I don't know.