Still waiting to get an appointment.
Depression is crushing me. I am stuck in a loop.
Cannot work- too depressed, cannot exercise- foot and knee injured, ahedonia means I cannot distract myself and my wife is getting upset because all I can focus on is trans stuff. I cannot sleep, so less energy and more depression. My depression medication makes me hungry, but I am allergic to most foods, making dieting near as damned impossible. I can eat is cereal and chicken at the moment. No work = no money, so no laser, no self respect and no saving for specialists like psychologists and endocrinologists... its a death spiral. My wife wants to start a new round of IVF in sydney, so I cannot move to where the work is- which is anywhere but sydney.
I was back at work and happy again knowing I would transition.
I am relying on hrt to give me hope and a sense of purpose, a sense of travelling towards a life worth living. But I am stuck, waiting to get on a list to see someone who my doctor telld me isnt qualified to write me a letter to get hrt or srs. But everyone I speak to points to her. I have no time frame, and no faith this path will work. Our gender center seems focused on prisoners, which ->-bleeped-<-s me when I feel like I am in a ->-bleeped-<-ing prison and have not done anything to deserve this.
I dont think I can survive this.
