God has done me an injustice!

[Annaiyah]

Quick into: Hey, everybody. New to the boards.

Being transgender feels like Hell! Sure I can and will change my body to look like a woman but my DNA will still read male and nothing can be done about that. Plus, I still won't be able to menstruate and have children. A lot of people like to say people who transition don't want to do God's will but rather their own. That's not the case with me. I'm only changing my body anyway to at least find some comfort. Just like I'm not confortable with having facial hair, body hair, an Adam's Apple, rough thick skin, etc. so I will change those.

It feels like a huge injustice for me because there is no way for me to be a full-fledged female. It just isn't fair to me that God let some people be born female mentally and physically but not me. And now it seems like every day is a struggle, I can't wait until the day I breath my last breath. The only reason I'm not dead is because I cannot afford to spend an eternity in Hell, which is even worse and there are too many things I need/want to accomplish in this life.

What make matters even worse is the Christian views of Heaven. I was brought to Christianity... wait... There is this website for transgender people who don't do anything to change their bodies (Google Girlinside123) -- the site operator is Catholic/Christian, he's transgender as well and he and I have been speaking for 2-3 years about why God might've given me a male body and what Heaven might be like. Christians believe menstruation is a sin, there is no pregnancy, no sex, no nighttime (I like night), and that people will retain their same genders as on Earth. That's why I left Christianity after Girlinside123 brought me to it, and even after he kept having to tell me several times that if being a girl is that important then God will give me that in Heaven. The hell it's that important because God couldn't let me be a girl here!

I want to also make it clear to you people that I know it's probably a sin to covet womanhood but that's something God is going to have to live with, otherwise He should've given me a female body from the get-go. I will run a thousand miles (and hell even far beyond that) through the Gates of Hell to have my lost womanhood, the female body I've always desired, and to give birth to my daughter.

I can't help but spend most of my life dreaming about it. I want my female body to be and look a certain way -- for my face, my eyes, my voice, my breasts, my curves to look and be a certain way, down to all the last little details.

I want to be female forever and ever and for all of eternity, no possible way to change to a male body.

I want to be reborn all over again, as an infant through childhood and be raised as a female, and learn all the aspects of womanhood/girlhood I would've learned if only i were born female.

I want to live in an Earth-like civilization where there are male and female species, human, animals, and insects; I am treated with the same regards as any naturally born female, because I am just that. When people talk about me, I would like female pronouns, "she", "her", etc.

I want my body to have every genetic trait and biological building block that makes a human female, female DNA, XX sex chromosomes, my fully-functioning female reproductive organs and all (a brain, bones, lungs, heart, blood, digestive system, nervous system, etc.).

I want to be attracted to men, for men to be attracted to me.

I want to menstruate every month, to feel the pain! Even if there is no pain in Heaven, i want to experience that pain, to shed blood, to shed my eggs,

I want to carry my daughter for 9 months, to conceive her and give birth to her. I want to breastfeed my daughter.

I want to be female in every sense... and essence... mind, body, and soul...

I know it sounds like a lot to ask for as I'll be lucky to even be going to Heaven anyway but I will firmly say that if God really loved me, He'd be graceful and faithful enough to take into consideration how much all this really means to me and give me all this, knowing how much I will truly appreciate it and how much I've begged and pleaded for all of this.

I didn't mean to make this really long. I just wanted to get insight and thoughts from you guys on this site, from preists', other Christians' and Catholics' POV on this. Thanks for reading.

[King Malachite]

I really enjoy reading your post and a lot of it has hit home with me.  Coming from the other side, I deeply understand what you're going through and I've even touched on it some on a post called "Christian Heaven" in the same section.  It really does bother me knowing that no matter what I do on this Earth, I will always be a biological female and for me, the matters get even worse when it comes to the Christian heaven.  The whole no marriage/sex in heaven or night time was a huge turn off to me, since that means I could never have sex like a biological male at night with a wife.  No meat in heaven since I've heard we were originally supposed to be herbivores?  Well there goes my Philly Cheesesteak lol. 

There is always the New Earth option.  Not much is said about the New Earth in the Bible, but perhaps there still is a chance for your body to be transformed into a biological woman.  Some might argue that it would be impossible to have a physical body though if you don't live through the great tribulation since those who have died in Christ will get spiritual bodies so I'm not too sure how that would work.  Also, there is still no night time there or seas to my understanding.

Regardless, for me, I personally want oblivion after death and I pray that God grants me that wish.  The thought of never having a male body and experiencing the functions and pleasures of having a male body hurts.  If I can't have that, then I really don't want to live forever.  I really do hope that you can eventually find peace on this subject.


Oh and this link might be of interest to you since it talks about a person's perspective on gender and the New Earth.

http://www.eifiles.cn/gf-en.htm

[Jamie D]

Annaiyah, welcome to the site.

The underlying premise of your post is the idea the "God doesn't make mistakes."  And if you were born with 46,XY chromosomes, and an outwardly male body, you were intended by God to be a male.

There are problems with that.  There are people born every day with some sort of congenital or developmental condition.  My wife teaches children like these.  Did God make a mistake when he made those handicapped children like that?  Most Christians would say, "No!"

In John 9:1-3 is recorded the event in which the Disciples come across a blind man.  Was the man born blind as a punishment for some sin of his parents?  Or his own?  No, said Jesus.  This man was blind so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

Likewise, who is to say that you were not born transgendered to become an example for other Christians?  Who can state what God's purpose is for you?

[Annaiyah]

The whole no marriage/sex in heaven or night time was a huge turn off to me, since that means I could never have sex like a biological male at night with a wife.  No meat in heaven since I've heard we were originally supposed to be herbivores?  Well there goes my Philly Cheesesteak lol. 

Regardless, for me, I personally want oblivion after death and I pray that God grants me that wish.  The thought of never having a male body and experiencing the functions and pleasures of having a male body hurts.  If I can't have that, then I really don't want to live forever.  I really do hope that you can eventually find peace on this subject.


Oh and this link might be of interest to you since it talks about a person's perspective on gender and the New Earth.

I'm glad you enjoyed hearing what i had to say. To my understanding, no, there is no mean only because we won't be killing animals. But i'm sure God will supply mean lovers with a substitute.

The way i see it. There is no night or no sex because it won't be needed, but if it is needed for our happiness and fufilment, it will be there or so i was told. BTW, that link tells there will be no reproduction!

Annaiyah, welcome to the site.

The underlying premise of your post is the idea the "God doesn't make mistakes."  And if you were born with 46,XY chromosomes, and an outwardly male body, you were intended by God to be a male.

There are problems with that.  There are people born every day with some sort of congenital or developmental condition.  My wife teaches children like these.  Did God make a mistake when he made those handicapped children like that?  Most Christians would say, "No!"

In John 9:1-3 is recorded the event in which the Disciples come across a blind man.  Was the man born blind as a punishment for some sin of his parents?  Or his own?  No, said Jesus.  This man was blind so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

Likewise, who is to say that you were not born transgendered to become an example for other Christians?  Who can state what God's purpose is for you?

But it was intended by ME to be female. I God did me a favor by not making me female or if something better is to come out of this, i'm not going to thank him. By the way, where in my post do i imply that God doesn't make mistakes?

[King Malachite]

I'm glad you enjoyed hearing what i had to say. To my understanding, no, there is no mean only because we won't be killing animals. But i'm sure God will supply mean lovers with a substitute.

The way i see it. There is no night or no sex because it won't be needed, but if it is needed for our happiness and fufilment, it will be there or so i was told. BTW, that link tells there will be no reproduction!

But it was intended by ME to be female. I God did me a favor by not making me female or if something better is to come out of this, i'm not going to thank him. By the way, where in my post do i imply that God doesn't make mistakes?

Vegan philly cheesesteak?  I guess I could try it.     I don't see where it says it won't be any reproduction in the New Earth at least, the poster seems to suggest otherwise. 

I've been told several times that we won't even be thinking about sex or night when we get there, which I feel is just a cop out saying.

[Jamie D]

"God doesn't make mistakes" is a line that many transgendered individuals hear from their religious families, as an argument against transition.

Indeed, it is implicit in the attitude of your friend Girlinside123.

Statements such as "A lot of people like to say people who transition don't want to do God's will but rather their own," and "(H)e kept having to tell me several times that if being a girl is that important then God will give me that in Heaven. The hell it's that important because God couldn't let me be a girl here!"

[Annaiyah]

I've been told several times that we won't even be thinking about sex or night when we get there, which I feel is just a cop out saying.

That's interesting, considering I've been constatnly hearing we won't even be thinking about, or too happy to be thinking about, having sex when we get to Heaven. I really hope that's wrong. When I want something, I don't want to forget I want it, I just want it!

If God were any kind of God, he'd consider that I really need those things to be happy, which I do need night, to have sex, pregnancy, the full female experience, etc. But I hope you get your replica of your Philly Cheesesteak!

[Shantel]

The OP said, "Christians believe menstruation is a sin, there is no pregnancy, no sex, no nighttime" we know this is a load of crap! There is no such teaching anywhere in a bible based church. Besides that, I don't buy into people blaming G-d or anyone else for their own circumstances, just take responsibility for yourself and do whatever it takes to get your act together and be right with your inner being and stop blaming others. No-one knows what heaven is like or if it is just another dimension beyond time, their beliefs are assumed by arrogant individuals who have never been there themselves.

[Annaiyah]

The OP said, "Christians believe menstruation is a sin, there is no pregnancy, no sex, no nighttime" we know this is a load of crap! There is no such teaching anywhere in a bible based church. Besides that, I don't buy into people blaming God or anyone else for their own circumstances, just take responsibility for yourself and do whatever it takes to get your act together and be right with your inner being and stop blaming others. No-one knows what heaven is like or if it is just another dimension beyond time, their beliefs are assumed by arrogant individuals who have never been there themselves.

Excuse me, but I am the OP.

I'm not so sure I like your comment about blaming God for our circumstances. So, you're saying to me that it is not GOD who made me transgender? If not, what then? And where is your proof that in Heaven (btw - I like how you neglected the Heaven part) there is menstruation, pregnancy, and nighttime? I'd like to see it.

[Devlyn]

   Let's remember the TOS, posters should avoid making posts that can reasonably be construed as attacks. Thank you, hugs, Devlyn