Dealing with chest and bottom dysphoria

[Brandon]

How do you deal with these types of things, Its been hot as hell, And everytime I go over to my neighbors house the brother always has his shirt off, I hate not being able to walk around freely wih my shirt off, Especially when its hot, I wish I could just throw on a shirt without grabbing a bra, Even though chest binders help its still gonna remind me that I have a chest, Going to the bathroom everyday is stating to bother me,  I hate wipping myself its so uncomfortable, Or toes horrible things you get every month,  It just makes me break down and cry, And iI hate crying bcause Ive one of those guys who suppresses his feelings and then go off on people and I have a serious anger problem because of it. I mean when I get older I wanna be able to give a woman a baby I hate the fact Ill never be able to produc sperm its the worst feeling ever, I don't care for artificial insemination or Adoption, I hate that I hav o go through all this damn surgery to be happy, I mean the HRT is fine but all that surgery and all that money for something thats not even worth it because the bottom surgery is not all that great no offence, I might as well just give up what am I accomplishing when ill never be a cisgender man

[Brandon]

Well Im young and still living with my mom so I can't do anything because she doesn't support me and I'm stll in highschool thats aother reason I'm upset

[Adam (birkin)]

I don't really know what else I can say to help with your other concerns (like high school and the bottom surgery issue), but I can definitely empathize with you on the heat. I get more dysphoric than ever when it's hot out, because of all the sweat that gathers in my chest and downstairs. The chest especially. Have you tried any powders, like Gold Bond? It's not good for downstairs, but for the chest, it can really help keep the moisture down. Some days it's still too hot, but it makes it easier when you don't have to feel so hyper aware of that part.

[Brandon]

I know highschool isn't forever but not having support from family is, Either way its  upsettting, because ill never get it support

[Brandon]

And not having support while trying to deal with dysphoria is not easy, So it makes it harder

[mangoslayer]

try to use I statements when reffering to bottom surgery. Even though they may not be suitable for your needs, doesn't mean they aren't good. They are life saving procedures for some men and saying they arent that great is pretty offensive to those of us who have had bottom surgery.

[Brandon]

Ok well my fault, But I do feel like they could do better with bottom surgery, And I didn't say they werent suitable for my needs, I just said their not that good

[AdamMLP]

Saying that bottom surgery is rubbish is a bit like saying that everyone who's had it has horrible junk, which isn't a good thing to say even to a cis person. Most people are self conscious about their nether regions before factoring in dysphoria.

A statement like "I personally feel bottom surgery techniques aren't as good as I'd like them to be at the moment" is more about your opinion of bottom surgery and less of a blanket statement about all post-op trans men's junk.

As for the original question, you need to realise that the key to happiness isn't magically found after transition. There isn't a point where a switch will be flipped and you'll suddenly be happy and content in life. It's a gradual process, and if you're kit actively working towards and seeking contentment then you might not realise university found it and will end up staying stuck on negative ways. There's always something more that people want,no matter if they're trans or cis, and just fixing one thing isn't going to magic all other possible problems away. Being happy is a mindset, not a state of life. Yes transitioning and helping ease the dysphoria helps, but it isn't the complete answer, and it isn't necessarily the only way to become happy.  Heck, I'd almost say I was "happy" and I've not transitioned.

[Brandon]

No I didn't mean it like that, Im not even comfortable in my body at all and don't even like going to the bathroom because its a constant reminder of what I have, I just said that they could do better with it,

And being in highschool without support can get fustrating, I just simply want to know how to ease it until I see a gender therapist

[LordKAT]

You could get a name change form all filled out and then on the day you hit 18, file it. That and clothing, wear boxers or something.

[Brandon]

I already do wear boxers, I also have male body wash and deordorant, And I wear male clothes, Its just not having the right body parts

[LordKAT]

I completely understand. Somehow, money is the big issue there since insurance is lacking.

[Brandon]

Yea true

[Mosnar_K]

I know how you feel entirely. Especially about the whole wanting to get a woman pregnant thing. I claim to everyone that I don't want children but in reality, I do want children but I can't have biological children. I mean I could if I used my female reproductive organs but there is no way I'd ever give birth. Every time I see a man and woman pushing a baby down the sidewalk in it's stroller, I get envious and glare at the man and then I'm filled with actual hatred towards him and then I get bitter. And don't even get me started on my cousin, he has two children and I had to stay with him for a week and I couldn't even spend time with him because I suddenly hated him so much, the only time I talked to him was when I downed 6 shots of Vodka. I'm a very bitter person and that's one of the things that made me bitter. And yes, I had to suffer the whole summer seeing cis guys walk around with their shirts off, so I stayed in my room for most of the summer and I still rarely come out of it. But I understand exactly what you're saying.

[Erik Ezrin]

Yeah, I know the feel bro...
Especially when it's hot outside I get pretty dysphoric. All those shirtless guys... with flat chests... and male bodies... it just makes me feel horrible.
I personally don't have a whole deal of bottom dysphoria (though it pains me to know I can probably never get biological kids, and adopting as a transdad is quite a hassle :/ but I'm still pretty young, so kids aren't really the thing on my mind right now), except when bathing/showering.

[Mr.X]

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this (Of course, this is to be expected on Susan's )

Just know that it will not always be like that. Yes, you'll need surgery and hormones to resemble what is considered a male by society, and yes, you will never produce sperm of your own. But is that really so important? Bottom surgery is improving every day. Phallo's are looking more and more like the real deal, while there are less failures. When it is your turn to have the surgery, who knows what they can do? Science never stands still, and is advancing at a rather rapid pace. Keep that in mind when you feel blue.

And are getting your own kids really that important? I know passing on your DNA is instinctive trait that we humans still have, but the world is overpopulated as it is. Adoption would be so much better. I guess it's easy for me to say because I really do not want kids of my own, or any other kid, but I do think producing your own is overrated these days.

As for top dysphoria, what really helped me is just strop wearing bras and the like. They are just too girly with the straps and whatnot. I have a really small chest, so I don't need them. My mimi-moobs just become more perky due to bras, and that's the last thing I want. I can even jog without needing a bra. Maybe you have a small chest too, and can get away with not wearing a bra? Or at least when you are home, just wear a t-shirt. I can tell you, the freedom on its own feels great. And know that things will not always be like this. You will eventually get top surgery, and then you can whip them pecs out whenever you like.

Remember that what we can do now seemed impossible twenty years ago. So twenty years from now, you'll still be relatively young and have numerous possibilites that are impossible now. Keep your chin up, mate!

[YBtheOutlaw]

i feel the almost everything you've talked about, the physical discomforts and mental stuff. and doubting whether i'd ever be able come out, which eventually means i'm not going to have a girlfriend or a wife, makes me feel like hell and i'm soooo jealous of young couples. but that's what i am to live with. when i feel depressed as such, i tell myself that nobody's life can be perfect. i have nice kind parents, a good brother, loads of friends, lots of reputation, a pretty good sense of humour and little aesthetic talents which make me quite extrovert, and i have fair looks as a man or a woman. if i were not trans and were born as a complete man or a woman, my life would have been perfect. but the nature says it should not! i've seen people with all kinds of disabilities and problems in life, so i guess this is the imperfectness of my life, and i should deal with it! yes it's a challenge, but i'm gonna deal with it. as for you, try some positive thinking techniques and when you start thinking about such a problem which makes you feel better, think of something else and forget it for the moment. and yes i agree with the post above mine, we never know what'll come in due time... so cheer up dude, share all your troubles with your mates in here, and try to be happy!

[Frank]

I can't help but I can relate. My job is outside, in 100 degrees and I wear two or three layers to hide the chest from an all male working environment. Then comes the inevitable "Why don't you take your shirt off dude? You're about to pass out!"

[Brandon]

I know how you feel entirely. Especially about the whole wanting to get a woman pregnant thing. I claim to everyone that I don't want children but in reality, I do want children but I can't have biological children. I mean I could if I used my female reproductive organs but there is no way I'd ever give birth. Every time I see a man and woman pushing a baby down the sidewalk in it's stroller, I get envious and glare at the man and then I'm filled with actual hatred towards him and then I get bitter. And don't even get me started on my cousin, he has two children and I had to stay with him for a week and I couldn't even spend time with him because I suddenly hated him so much, the only time I talked to him was when I downed 6 shots of Vodka. I'm a very bitter person and that's one of the things that made me bitter. And yes, I had to suffer the whole summer seeing cis guys walk around with their shirts off, so I stayed in my room for most of the summer and I still rarely come out of it. But I understand exactly what you're saying.

I do that same thing its a horrible feeling

[Brandon]

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this (Of course, this is to be expected on Susan's )

Just know that it will not always be like that. Yes, you'll need surgery and hormones to resemble what is considered a male by society, and yes, you will never produce sperm of your own. But is that really so important? Bottom surgery is improving every day. Phallo's are looking more and more like the real deal, while there are less failures. When it is your turn to have the surgery, who knows what they can do? Science never stands still, and is advancing at a rather rapid pace. Keep that in mind when you feel blue.

And are getting your own kids really that important? I know passing on your DNA is instinctive trait that we humans still have, but the world is overpopulated as it is. Adoption would be so much better. I guess it's easy for me to say because I really do not want kids of my own, or any other kid, but I do think producing your own is overrated these days.

As for top dysphoria, what really helped me is just strop wearing bras and the like. They are just too girly with the straps and whatnot. I have a really small chest, so I don't need them. My mimi-moobs just become more perky due to bras, and that's the last thing I want. I can even jog without needing a bra. Maybe you have a small chest too, and can get away with not wearing a bra? Or at least when you are home, just wear a t-shirt. I can tell you, the freedom on its own feels great. And know that things will not always be like this. You will eventually get top surgery, and then you can whip them pecs out whenever you like.

Remember that what we can do now seemed impossible twenty years ago. So twenty years from now, you'll still be relatively young and have numerous possibilites that are impossible now. Keep your chin up, mate!

Yes its pretty important to me, Considering I could nd up with a woman who wants kids biologically and yes I want my kids to look like me and her, It bothers m that I can't ejaculate, It does and it probaly always will as I grow older