not new to this but need some different perspective

[ann45]

I confronted the possibility that I was transgender six years ago when I was 62. I just couldn't perform in the bedroom anymore and that pushed me into seeking a therapist who worked with gender issues. Research on the net gave me a pretty good idea of what I was facing. I have been in therapy for six years with a few breaks when I thought I could handle Gender Dysphoria on my own but the dysphoria never lessened and I would return to therapy. My wife has been with me on this journey and would go to her therapist across the hall then we would meet together about once a month. I have decided not to transistion in an attempt to save a 43 year marriage and I don't think I could explain it to my children. The problem is that the anxiety caused by not expressing who I am is really starting to get to me and I fear being in my 70's and getting suicidal. I am considering low dosage estrogen to try and ease the Gender Dysphoria. I have already tried anti-depressant meds, did not work. I am not as worried about the health risks of estrogen as I am in very good health, don't smoke or drink alcohol. But I am concerned that by taking even the low dosage estrogen, I may be opening a door that I may not be able to close. I would welcome any comments or suggestions.

[Ltl89]

I believe there are people who take low dose hrt without plans of transitioning.  The only thing is that you will still probably have permanent changes.  I'm not the most knowledgeable on taking hrt without transitioning, but I wanted you to be aware that it can still have cause physical changes.  Though, if you don't use an anti-androgen, you may not have much of a problem. 

[Jerri]

I am not familar with effects of low dose but I am 56, just starting my second month of hrt, I have felt so much change mentally, my wife says she likes me so much better since I started hrt. I really dont see any physical changes yet hope to some day but (i can only hope), Back to the point lol I truly believe that starting hrt was by far the best thing I have ever done for me. I am sure working with a therapist and a doctor you can find a solution, with the help of folks here as well to make it through each day,

[JoanneB]

You are right about the feelings never going away. You can try to sublimate them, ignore them, or rely on tons of distractions, diversions and some denial. It sort of worked for well over 30 years with me. But I wasn't 70 either when I started all that.

Low dose HRT was a great help for me throughout those years and more. It worked as sort of a brain or emotional reset. I alo was greatly conflicted as to where I might wind up as you are, as in once you start down that road. However it sounds like you are hoping to continue on as a guy, as was I.

[nepla]

My circumstances appear quite similar to yours ann45. I knew I was different from very young age, lots of guilt and shame, but did not get that I was transgender until about almost the same age as you. The dysphoria was crippling - I spent many a time in tears. Also went to therapist, initially by myself, then at times with my wife. She was reasonably accepting but on the HRT topic she was somewhat hesitant.
It was about 14 months ago (I am now 66) that she agreed on a challenge - I would start HRT (this is low dose only) on a date unknown to her and if she felt discomforting changes in me, I would try and live without hormones again.
We were still going to the therapist as necessary and during one of those sessions I revealed that I had been taking hormones for quite a few weeks by now. (I had the hormones sitting in my bedside drawers for some time before that and it was quite difficult to resist the temptation to start quickly.) My wife admitted that she had not observed any disconcerting changes and was quite surprised. (One of her fears was that I would start to behave too girly - the agreement included me presenting male outside the home.)
For me the mental changes were fabulous - that constant fighting in my head disappeared and I just felt sooooo much better within myself. If my wife had asked me to stop the hormones I would have been devastated.
So I have now been on a low dose regimen for just under 12 months, my "anniversary" being the 1st September - I picked the date as a symbolism - the start of Spring (in Australia) - as the start of my new self. My breasts have grown somewhat over that period - my wife is not overly keen on that but has been accepting.
Andrea

[justpat]

   You are not alone here.There are quite a number of us seniors  or as some would say AARP members.
   All my life I knew I was different so to speak ,but plowed ahead as a male all my life. Put 4 years in the military 69-73 and was a successful outside knuckle dragging supervisor for 34 more.Still after all that time I knew a heart I was not the male I pretended to be but I survived.Then one day in Feb 2013 I woke up in chaos I could not stand anything male ,I had to change ,I knew it was coming for quite awhile but I though I could bury it as in the past.Wrong  it just came back and knocked me to my knees.I had to make peace within myself in order to live.I think God has a plan for us its just some times we don't understand.Now I spend 80-90% of the time as female and have found an inner peace that I longed for for years.
  I also found out I have testicular cysts 5 cm agent orange is a good guess for the cause anyway end of Sept goodbye boys. In Nov I start HRT hello girls ! It can add to what I already was blessed with.I am truly happy about everything I just wish I knew about his plan earlier.
  I am 63 and my wife is 70 and is very happy for me also.We are starting a new journey together.
From what I have read here low dose will help you. I am sure the more educated will pick up on this and give some real life advise. May God Bless You. Patricia JoAnn