HELP! I Can't Handle My Trans Truth!

[Athena]

Take it one step at a time. Get through today, tomorrow will come in due time. First try to accept yourself for what you are. Don't worry about what others think, that will come out in it's own time make sure you are ok first.
Find something that relaxes you and do it, for me it is sitting by myself with a can of coke or even going for a walk. Once you find something to relax you then do it often, if your full of anxiety or really stressed out then you need to find a way to calm yourself.

[FreshGuy]

I'm a West Country boy myself. Ooh arr.

Well, you're lucky you're near Exeter because that's one of the best clinics in the country. They're very much patient-led, so they won't rush you into anything... but more importantly, they won't make you wait ridiculously long periods for treatment once you've made up your mind about what you want to do.

The Exeter NHS clinic is The Laurels, 11-15 Dix's Field, Exeter EX1 1QA, Telephone: 01392 677077. They're very friendly and I'm sure they'd be happy to take your call if you wanted to make a general enquiry. You do need a referral from your GP if you want to be treated there, but they're very easy-going and generous with their time.

Waiting times for a first appointment at The Laurels are currently between 3-6 months, after which you have three assessments with a Gender Therapist who will ask you about your life, your history, how you feel now, where you would like to go in the future. This assessment is to determine whether you have Gender Dysphoria, but more importantly it is to help you figure out what (if anything) you need to do. After they've completed the assessment they'll discuss treatment options with you (if appropriate) but crucially, you won't have to undertake any treatment if you're not ready for it. So for example, if they find you do have GD but you choose not to undergo treatment right now because of any complications in your personal life, they'll allow you to defer your treatment until you're ready. If you do decide to go see them, you'll be surprised at how relaxed an atmosphere they have, and how friendly the staff and patients are.

The Laurels advertise in their reception some patient support groups that (I believe) have been set up by previous and current patients, including at least one Facebook group I know of. Why not give them a ring and ask them for the details of any local support groups?

They also suggest ringing the LGBT Helpline, 0800 612 3010, or if you would prefer to make your initial contact by email, try helpline@intercomtrust.org.uk - this is an Exeter-based confidential helpline and advocacy service that should hopefully be able to give you information about local support in the South West.

You could also try the LGBT Collective, which is a central point for info on LGBT groups & projects throughout the South West. 01392 201012 or email admin@lgbtcollective.org.uk

Good luck.

Thank you for your extremely useful post! I have e-mailed the 2 groups.

I'm not sure if I am ready to ring the gender clinic or tell the doctor yet though. It is still all a lot for me to take in.

[FTMDiaries]

You're welcome.

Good luck with the groups. Take all the time you need to think things through and if you do decide to take things further, at least you now have some idea of what to expect. We'll be here for you, every step of the way, if you need us.

[AdamMLP]

I've now saved that document.  Seriously you've cheered up my awful night!  God I wish I knew about that sooner.

[Rachel]

I wish is was cis too. I talk to some Cis males and females and they think very differently on some things. I prefer the way I see things.

I am not cis and I went to pieces 8 months ago after a life of trying to cope, then therapy and transition my way (we are all unique). I am just now feeling pretty good about myself and being trans*. Even showed my wife my body last week (2nd time in 23 years) and I may again tonight 

I am queer, Bi and trans*, told my boss, HR, Ops Manager, compensation, wife, old professional coach and a bunch of health professionals. I will come out in total May 28, 2014.

The next 20 years are for me, selfish yes and there is nothing wrong about being selfish about your identity that is bad.

Welcome to Susan's Place. We are a pretty accepting group. I for one have very few filters.

[Jamie D]

Hey can anybody help me, I can't handle the fact that I am a transsexual, it is tearing me up inside. I am going to go to the doctors but anyone got any advice for what I can do in the mean time?

This is tearing me apart!!!

It starts with self-acceptance.  The work from there.

[kelly_aus]

It starts with self-acceptance.  The work from there.

This is the biggie.. Without self acceptance, you won't get anywhere..

[aleon515]

At one time, I might have thought this to be rare and weird and people who are trans to be somehow off in some way. Thru my real life trans center and here, I have pretty much learned this is absolutely not the case. Some of the most together people I know are trans. I don't think it's so rare either as they used to think. I am MUCH more together myself since I have figured this out to a large extent, have more self-confidence, and know who I am.

I don't wish I were cis. I kind of wish I had known earlier, but there's not too much I could do about this so I don't waste much time on it.


--Jay

[FreshGuy]

At one time, I might have thought this to be rare and weird and people who are trans to be somehow off in some way. Thru my real life trans center and here, I have pretty much learned this is absolutely not the case. Some of the most together people I know are trans. I don't think it's so rare either as they used to think. I am MUCH more together myself since I have figured this out to a large extent, have more self-confidence, and know who I am.

I don't wish I were cis. I kind of wish I had known earlier, but there's not too much I could do about this so I don't waste much time on it.


--Jay

Aww, it is god that you are together and know yourself! *High 5 to you* woooooo

[Jayne]

I don't have a therapist yet, I am scared. I tried a helpline earlier today but I hung up before they answered, I don't want anyone to hear me talking about it.

If you're worried about being overheard on the phone then use the pm service on here to discuss your problems with one of the members or admin that you trust, i've been helping someone on here over the last year this way, he doesn't want family overhearing phone conversations so all he needs to do is send me a text & I jump online to have a chat.
It's not healthy to bottle up negative emotions, I used to & it led to me spending the last year on anti depressants.
You also said about "having" to change, you only have to do what you feel comfortable with & seeing a gender therapist  can help you to work out what will be right for you.

[FreshGuy]

If you're worried about being overheard on the phone then use the pm service on here to discuss your problems with one of the members or admin that you trust, i've been helping someone on here over the last year this way, he doesn't want family overhearing phone conversations so all he needs to do is send me a text & I jump online to have a chat.
It's not healthy to bottle up negative emotions, I used to & it led to me spending the last year on anti depressants.
You also said about "having" to change, you only have to do what you feel comfortable with & seeing a gender therapist  can help you to work out what will be right for you.

awww Jayne, thank you for your post! you're a doll!

I have recently found a local trans support network so I have been speaking to someone who seems nice but I am still getting to know them

[Natkat]

Hey can anybody help me, I can't handle the fact that I am a transsexual, it is tearing me up inside. I am going to go to the doctors but anyone got any advice for what I can do in the mean time?

This is tearing me apart!!!

Well all been there, and even when you get over it you may still go in times where it troublesome to be trans. it is after all.
but remember you can't be sad about it the whole life, you have your life to live just this one so you have to make the best out of it.

I go on and off with felling on how I wish I could just be "normal" in a way, and on the other way I dont mind being trans. but try turning it into something positive. I belive we are all diffrent and have our own struggles, I dont belive in perfect lifes or a life without problems but people who know how to handle them the right way.

I dont know if your new in the whole trans, but I guess for being trans, handicapped, gay, or diffrent in a way many get the "why me" felling at first. later on you just move on, but you also get to see it from both sides. yeah I still have times where im thinking "why me"
but I also had learn and meet alot of interesting people I wouldnt had knew if I wasn't trans.

[Emmaline]

I got past the 'why me' stage and am totally comfortable now with being transgender.  My anger and frustration is now aimed at the failings of society and the medical system, but I know that is also a step in the process of acceptance, and I will pass through that as well.

Once I read the article on how our embryonic brains need Estrogen to trigger them to become male but our bodies use Dihydrotestosterone to trigger, and a failure of one of these causes a mismatch in brain and body gender, it clicked and my self loathing and guilt went away.  Thats me.  Thats why I feel like a woman.  I got it.

[FreshGuy]

I got past the 'why me' stage and am totally comfortable now with being transgender.  My anger and frustration is now aimed at the failings of society and the medical system, but I know that is also a step in the process of acceptance, and I will pass through that as well.

Once I read the article on how our embryonic brains need Estrogen to trigger them to become male but our bodies use Dihydrotestosterone to trigger, and a failure of one of these causes a mismatch in brain and body gender, it clicked and my self loathing and guilt went away.  Thats me.  Thats why I feel like a woman.  I got it.

Ah I see, I am still very much in the kicking and screaming "aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I am a transsexual" stage

I don't really have strong feelings of being a woman so that sentence hasn't helped click my acceptance.

[FreshGuy]

CAN'T ANYBODY HELP ME?


MY TRANS STATUS IS ROCKING MY WORLD


I NEEEEEEEEDD HELPPP

CAN'T ANYBODY HELP ME??

[kelly_aus]

Then perhaps it's time to talk to a therapist of some sort.

[FreshGuy]

Then perhaps it's time to talk to a therapist of some sort.

I am not ready for that, I think trans support networks are a better option but I am clamming up just typing this.

omg my life sucks

I am a transsexual

HELPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEE!!!

[kelly_aus]

Can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves..

[FreshGuy]

Can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves..

Of course I want to help myself, don't be so horrid!

[Lo]

How do you expect us to help you? How do you WANT us to help you?