am I a sexist bastard

[Taka]

easiest way to find out is to apologize to her and ask if you hurt her. if you're sincere, you may get an honest answer. maybe she wasn't offended and just got one more drop added to a hidden social anxiety for all you know. in the end, if you really want to know, you have to talk to her.

[Natkat]

It's not really saying that she can't do it, its what's expected. Girls aren't expected to be able to do certain things, and guys aren't expected to do certain things. It's all very stereotypical. It's comforting to me though, so don't feel too bad about it.

It wasn't to imply what girls or guys could do, I hate those labels and in this context it would had been totally ridiculous since we talk about pulling out a wire. my comment where based on the fact that She as a girl is normal size for the other girls around her, and me as a guy is abit smaller. but I see the point of it comming out the wrong way.

TAKA
I don't know if I can talk to her without putting to much into it, being honest we dont talk much together and I do think even if she mind I might put more thought into it than she do. I guess if we get in a simular situation again I will try to go more into detail if she actually feel hurt or not and apoligyse if it the caise".

[Taka]

it's possible to apologize without putting much into it if you nearly yelled or gnarled it at her. that's something you could apologize for, nobody likes being barked at. but if you didn't... maybe wait till you have a chance to get to know her better, you might even happen to mention some of the things that were behind the comment in a conversation (without mentioning the comment). things can resolve themselves just from getting to know the other person a little better. maybe she already forgot about it.

now that i think about it in danish, it suddenly sounds more offensive. urgh, i should stop thinking...

[Natkat]

it's possible to apologize without putting much into it if you nearly yelled or gnarled it at her. that's something you could apologize for, nobody likes being barked at. but if you didn't... maybe wait till you have a chance to get to know her better, you might even happen to mention some of the things that were behind the comment in a conversation (without mentioning the comment). things can resolve themselves just from getting to know the other person a little better. maybe she already forgot about it.

now that i think about it in danish, it suddenly sounds more offensive. urgh, i should stop thinking...

yes but I belive
it just a matter of mind, if I where native english speaker I guess anything in english might been more offensive to me IDK?

I didn't put it out in a aggrasive way it just somehow got out abit strange.

[Taka]

yes but I belive
it just a matter of mind, if I where native english speaker I guess anything in english might been more offensive to me IDK?

I didn't put it out in a aggrasive way it just somehow got out abit strange.

so that wouldn't work. hopefully not too much damage is done.

danish is closer to norwegian, kind of the same language. it's easier t identify when hearing things in one's own language, that's probably why everything sounds so much worse. i never have too much trouble speaking about myself in english, but as soon as i get to norwegian, i just clam up and have no idea how to explain it in a way that isn't too close to myself. if that made any sense... saami is a funny language that can't be compared, it feels good to speak it, so i have a feeling whatever i speak about in saami, it will get right. or at least honest and down to earth with no chance of hiding the heart of the matter with al kinds of unnecessary linguistic ornamentation.
talkingaboutsomethingthatdoesntmakesenseagain

[Natkat]

so that wouldn't work. hopefully not too much damage is done.

danish is closer to norwegian, kind of the same language. it's easier t identify when hearing things in one's own language, that's probably why everything sounds so much worse. i never have too much trouble speaking about myself in english, but as soon as i get to norwegian, i just clam up and have no idea how to explain it in a way that isn't too close to myself. if that made any sense... saami is a funny language that can't be compared, it feels good to speak it, so i have a feeling whatever i speak about in saami, it will get right. or at least honest and down to earth with no chance of hiding the heart of the matter with al kinds of unnecessary linguistic ornamentation.
talkingaboutsomethingthatdoesntmakesenseagain

I get what you mean, I got the same, I also notice one of my friends start to speak english is she becomes really really shy about talking about something.

[aleon515]

No not really, it's kind of something, perhaps its stereotypical or something. But it is expected that guys are taller and stronger. It's not always true of course. The other thing, if she doesn't know you're trans, it's kind of a bit more that way. It's also more understandable that you might feel that way. Were her feelings hurt? As a female bodied person, when I was presenting female I didn't care about my size. Nor is something like 5' particularly unusual for a girl, it's not uncommon in males, but more outside the norm. Now I feel a lot different about my size-- though really I know there are a lot of short guys. I wouldn't have thought anything at all about it.

I agree that everyone harbors stereotypical and even supremacist and bigoted thoughts. But I think it's kind of overthinking in this case. But perhaps useful in being aware of them.

--Jay