Help cheering up another guy?

[CursedFireDean]

One of my friends is having a really rough time. He went all summer passing at a summer school program we did, but back at his normal school, he doesn't pass at all and he hasn't gotten to start T yet. He's got his letter, but his mom hasn't scheduled an appointment yet. He's also got a new teacher whom he emailed before school to let her know his situation, and she keeps using the wrong pronouns. He thinks it's because he must look too female for her to use male pronouns, but he's being overcritical of himself- he looks amazingly masculine for someone not on T yet!
So he's really having a rough time at school, not passing, being called the wrong pronouns, and he's been getting bullied too, like guys are calling him a dyke and crap like that.

I hardly get to see him now since we go to different schools, and I really only get to see him on some weekends. I want to help cheer him up, but I'm not sure what I can do. I'm also not sure if I SHOULD say anything to him, because he hasn't told me about this himself, I hear it from one of his school friends. Do you guys have any ideas?

[Adam (birkin)]

Maybe just approach it casually, like. If you're out as trans, say "you know, something I really hate is when people say "X" to me because I am trans." Or "the other day someone did X to me." And see if he opens up and says "I get that too" then you can sort of bounce off one another.

[Liminal Stranger]

Maybe just approach it casually, like. If you're out as trans, say "you know, something I really hate is when people say "X" to me because I am trans." Or "the other day someone did X to me." And see if he opens up and says "I get that too" then you can sort of bounce off one another.

I agree with this. Because he wasn't the one to say anything himself, directly asking about it may cause him to get defensive and close off communication. Opening up about your experiences, if you're out to him, will give him the sense that he isn't alone in his problems, and may give him a buddy to vent to. Having someone there who understands is crucial during rough patches- this site is a great example of how beneficial that may be. Good on you for considering his feelings, man.

[FTMDiaries]

When the whole world seems to be against you and your transition, having just one person who 'gets it' and supports you can make all the difference. If you are able to be that person for him - the one who always acknowledges his gender; always uses the right name & pronouns; gives him an outlet to vent his feelings - then you'll provide him with a lifeline that could help him get through this difficult time.

It's horrible to be stuck where he is, but it is a temporary situation. It's only a matter of time before he can start his medical transition. So the best thing you can do right now is to give him a boost as a friend who gets it, to help him bridge the gap.

[Natkat]

go out for a beer or something?
I dont think what you do or dont is too important just letting him know someone cares and understand.

not much advice to give, =/ but I guess that the basic line just to make sure if he want to talk or need you then he knows you'll be there.